The Power Transformation Podcast

129. A Marine's Journey from Rock Bottom to Redemption with T.O. Clay

• Alethea Felton • Season 3 • Episode 129

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Sometimes life forces us to make a choice: stay stuck in our struggles or take a bold step toward transformation. Coach Timothy "T.O." Clay knows this firsthand. As a teenager, he hit rock bottom and faced a defining moment of a felony charge that completely altered his path, ultimately leading him to a decorated military (Marine Corps) career and a mission of leadership and service. 

Now, through his five-pillar LIGHT framework (Love, Intellect, Greatness, Health, and Truth), he helps others break through limitations and step into their full potential. This conversation is packed with hard-hitting wisdom about leadership, personal transformation, and the power of making bold adjustments when life demands it.


Connect with Coach T.O.:

  • Website
  • For Leadership Coaching Call: 1-770-383-1967 


Episode 129's Affirmation:
I am capable of achieving my goals and creating the life I want.


I invite you to leave a positive message with your insights, feedback, or uplifting message.

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Alethea Felton:

Best-selling author, motivational speaker, coach, retired Marine and so much more describes Coach T. O. Clay, who is my guest today on the Power Transformation Podcast, and Coach T. O. helps individuals men, specifically become better leaders in the home, workplace and community. He certainly is a true inspiration and I look forward to our conversation today. I am telling you he has a transformational story and welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, alethea Felton. I am telling you he has a transformational story and welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, alethea Felton. I am so glad that you have joined me here today. It is because of you that this podcast continues to have such success and we want to jump right into this interview with Coach T. O.

Alethea Felton:

I'm telling you Timothy "TO Clay is a name that you want to jump right into this interview with Coach TO. I'm telling you Timothy TO Clay is a name that you want to remember because he is already a mover and a shaker. But I'm telling you y'all, he has what it takes. He has his five pillar light system L-I-G-H-T system that truly system L-I-G-H-T system that truly, truly can help with identifying and improving leadership skills. He is huge on helping people to get mental clarity, developing the heart and the mind so much more. So let's start with our affirmation, because this is truly going to be something that's life-changing. I'll say our affirmation once and you repeat it I am capable of achieving my goals and creating the life I want. I am so excited today to have the coach TO Clay yes, I put the in front of him because this man is one of the most spectacular human beings I have met, and I use that word intentionally because of everything he is doing in the lives of many. So welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast. Coach TO.

T.O. Clay:

Oh, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. I'm lit right now. You know the energy, the magneticism yes, always a blessing. Uh, just thank you so much because I, I know, I know, you know the importance of this, this, this, trust me, is those type of moments that that is godly, is what is what I would call it. It's truly godly and and godly in a way of just the Lord bringing his people together. So I'm grateful and excited to be here.

Alethea Felton:

I agree with that completely and I won't get into it too much here. But y'all we met through an amazing entrepreneurial networking group. It's a community that we're a part of and I'm telling you there's just certain people when you meet you just hit it off in certain connections that you have where you might know similar people or you're going down a similar path, and that is Coach TO and you're going to learn all about that. But I like to always start with a fun, icebreaker, lighthearted question, just so we can get to know you a little bit more. Your question is Coach TO. With everything that you do, what do you like to do to relax?

T.O. Clay:

Oh man, I love to read. I would say in these latter years since retiring in 2021, being able to read. You know, I got books galore down here in what I call my lab. You know this is where it goes down, yes, and I come in here and I'm looking at a lot of books. Counterinsurgency, next Level, your Life STEM is everywhere from Candansas, simmons, the book of born, the risk that we just dropped with a million shout out to to all the millionaire network. So, uh, to relax, I like reading. That that's a big one for me. Um, you know, like I said in the latter, you know I'm 48 now. I'd say probably the last, I don't know three years. I've really ratcheted up the reading. Another relaxing thing, obviously, uh, for for the listeners and watchers out there checking us out today, I love to fish as well. I love fishing you do now?

Alethea Felton:

I didn't know that because I grew up fishing. Yeah.

T.O. Clay:

What do you like? Do you like what deep sea fishing?

Alethea Felton:

No. So since I grew up in the Virginia Beach Norfolk Tidewater area, we did ocean and saltwater fishing. Yeah, it was that saltwater fishing, and I also used to crab when I was a little kid, oh, okay. All right, you know a little something, something. Oh that's good. So thank you for just opening us up into that part of your world. Now, if a person were to ask you who is Coach TO Clay, what would you say?

T.O. Clay:

First and foremost a man striving to walk in the righteousness of God, the almighty God. That's number one I was raised from. You know from the onset that a put God first in all that you do. You know from the onset that hey, put God first in all that you do. So I love opening up with that. You know I'm emphatic about that. When I speak to people I want them to understand that I'm striving to have that go of the almighty God, because to me that's the zenith. You know all the titles, you know, know, which I'm sure we'll get into as as we maneuver, uh, but nothing is more important than a.

T.O. Clay:

My name is to clay, timothy o nil clay to be exact. A lot of people ask where does the to come from? My first name is timothy, middle name is O'Neal and that's N-E-I-L, with the apostrophe O, apostrophe N-E-I-L, and that's where the T-O comes from. Um, I am a man of God. Man, and what is that? That's a man. Uh, in here you know once again, at all those books I talked about, I got this one too, and that one. As I've gotten older I began to realize man, there's so many keys to unlock the situation, the issues that we're dealing with on a daily basis.

Alethea Felton:

That's right and just for clarity if you're listening to this and not watching it, he held up the Holy Bible, meaning that that is the foundational book for him, that leads and guides and moves him, and God has certainly guided your life over the years. And so, although now you're based in Atlanta, take us to your early origins. What was your childhood like and what was one of your most favorite childhood memories?

T.O. Clay:

Childhood. I grew up in a town called Winchester, kentucky, and Winchester is probably about 15 miles east of Lexington, so it's really close. Uh, probably about a good I don't know 85 miles from Louisville okay and so you know childhood. I have great memories um a lot of great memories of my childhood. Like I said, fishing, fishing. I would say probably one of the most important that I'm grateful for is I had both my mother and my father in the home. I'm a PK. For those listening, Me too.

Alethea Felton:

I don't think I ever told you that, but yes, that's that godly again.

T.O. Clay:

It's so beautiful because I know you understand the different layers of being a PK.

T.O. Clay:

You know I didn't hear perverse language in my home. I didn't see smoking and drinking in my home. Exactly Same here. Yes, I saw, as I held up a little bit ago, many Bibles laying around the house and and and study guides and, uh, you know my mom, you know, downstairs playing her piano as first lady. Uh, she'd be down there singing them old Negro spiritual hymns, that that the aroma going throughout the house. It was just amazing. And you know, I, I, I love basketball. All the doors in our home, the top of the door, was all scraped up and banged up and ditched, because I would take hangers and I'd make a hoop and and I would take some, some, you know them, old tangerine sacks, the orange knitted sacks from the tangerines or oranges. I'd cut them up and I'd put my nets around the hanger.

Alethea Felton:

Wow yeah.

T.O. Clay:

I'd put it up above the door and I was hooping. I spent, you know, 90 percent of the time in my house playing ball on those makeshift goals. I'm the youngest. I have two siblings my older brother, kenny Shout out to my man, kenny, who I was just with this weekend down in Fort Lauderdale, it was amazing and my older sister, samantha we call her Sam. Shout out to Sam as well. They're going to watch this. I know they're going to watch it and that simple PK. They're going to watch this. I know they're going to watch it exactly, and that simple pk. They. They're going to be dialed in with us.

T.O. Clay:

But yeah, those are my fond memories. I mean, there's so many in the name, but the biggest. I grew up in a loving family. I grew up in a loving family that taught us from the root a god, and it was a small knit community. You know, my grandmother lived right up the street. My uncles lived down the street. My uncles lived down the street. My other uncle lived down the street. My other uncle lived down the street because my father, he's the youngest of nine.

Alethea Felton:

Okay.

T.O. Clay:

You know so a lot of his older brothers lived all around. And the Clay Root man that Clay Root, for those of you all checking us out today, hey, that Clay Root in Kentucky runs really, really deep.

Alethea Felton:

It does. That's a common last name and we can talk more offline about that. But, yeah, for you to be from there and to hear that last name that is something that I do know of is maybe not your exact family history, but the influence of the Clay surname Interesting.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah, so we'll talk about that and I love how you talk about how you had this village and you had love, and what's so beautiful is the work you do now definitely exudes love, and we'll go back and talk more about your origin story, but let's take a pause here and share in your own words what you do professionally now.

T.O. Clay:

Absolutely Professionally. I help individuals develop as leaders in the home, in the workplace, in the community, via the five pillar light framework L-I-G-H-T Light. Simple L is love, I is intellect, g is greatness, h is health and T is truth. And within those five pillars, some people need love. Some people love to sit back and have the intellectual conversations and talk about our origins as people and the cosmos and how bees pollinate and how it affects us today in our eco environment. Greatness, greatness is all around us.

Alethea Felton:

That's right.

T.O. Clay:

Greatness is right now, god, god brought this great you know aspect of you and I being able to come together and and being able to impact it and partake from one another in order to to help others and and right now, mental health is a big thing.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah.

T.O. Clay:

You know physical fitness big thing. You know I served many years in the military and that's, you know, a huge thing for military personnel is physical health. You know mind, body and spirit type thing, but just overall healthiness, man, healthy relationships. You know it's physical health, you know, mind, body and spirit type thing, but just overall healthiness, man, healthy relationships. You know, healthy environments. I could go on and on about health. You know we are what we eat.

T.O. Clay:

You know, and the last pillar is truth, you know, I believe you know truth is, is, is square, there's a square around us. You know, and you, you got, you got. You know you got 90, 90, you got 90 and you got 90, and that's 360, you know, and that 360 around us is being consciously aware. You know that that that God is true.

T.O. Clay:

Again, I, yeah, I'm not going to, you know, overstate it, but for me personally, you know, what I do now professionally is in alignment with my heart, with my passion, with my superpower, with my why, and that's why I'm grinning right now, because I love it, I love seeing people thrive, I love helping individuals. Now, you know, as professionals, we know that whiff them statement type of thing. What's in it for me and if you're listening to this or watching, what's in it for you is a safe space. It is a light within you. Every single one of us short bursts. We all have light. I always think about Iron man in the amazing movie Endgame, when that light started to get dim and he was laying there, everybody across the world's in the theater looking like Iron man can't die?

T.O. Clay:

No way, not Iron man man, no way All the history. But the reality is, sometimes our light gets dim and we need love. We need to go into the catacombs of someone that can use the proper intellect to be able to pull back in on us and help us, whether that's therapy, whether that's, you know, going and speaking with the pastor, whether that's speaking to the fireman so I can go on and on but professional, that's what it is, if you don't remember anything else. Out there, it's the light, and we all have light and we want those light bulb lessons that we all experience through our life to be a beacon to guide us to move forward in our lives every day and I think in in you just discussing that light framework, but also knowing that light is what counters darkness, because we all experience those dark spaces.

Alethea Felton:

And in fact, coach Tio, you had a period of darkness that kind of came in your youth periods, but then the light came and you were snatched out of it. Periods, but then the light came and you were snatched out of it. So there was a time in your life when you had some youthful recklessness that truly could have destroyed your destiny, but it didn't instead. So speak a little bit about that and take us back to a pivotal moment in your life when you realized that something needed to change. And what was that internal shift like and how did that shape the man who you are today?

T.O. Clay:

Yes, absolutely Great, great question. I love it. You know, my heart starts to, you know, beat a little bit faster because that takes me back to that moment. It takes me back to, you know, those feelings. It takes me back to why I'm so passionate about the light today. And, just for the listeners out there, I'm 48 years old today. Thank be to God.

T.O. Clay:

I've seen 48 years on this planet and, as my great sister said, you know, we all experience darkness and sometimes, when you're around, others that are working and walking in that purpose and out trying to heal and help people, and you know, as we would quote say, you know, trying to save the world or the community with it, and attacks can come from all angles. Like I said, I'm the baby boy and I was attacked. Like I said, growing up in that household and not seeing a lot of things of the world, I was shielded from many things that once I started going outside the home and visiting friends' homes and some of my own family members, cousins, things of that, I started seeing things that I was like, wow, I'm intrigued, you know, I'm intrigued to see that red cup and the smell. And it doesn't smell like sweet tea, it doesn't smell like Gatorade, it smells like something that I ain't smelled before. So, hey, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely, you know, and that I ain't spelled before. So, aiden, no, you're right, yeah, absolutely.

T.O. Clay:

And I'm sure to the listeners and you can get the point of what I'm saying, I was intrigued by certain things that I just didn't see growing up around me, internal to my household, and it morphed into being exposed to things, and one of the things that I was exposed to that we see prevalent out there today I was exposed to weed marijuana. Mary Jane, buddha, you know, sitsamia, whatever, whatever you're listening to this.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah, that's right.

T.O. Clay:

Dank, whatever it is. I was exposed to that, that's right. Whatever y'all call it, dank, whatever it is, I was exposed to that, and I was exposed to it by an individual that I had a lot of trust and faith in. You know, they shared a lot of the same rights as myself, which was basketball, and that individual. You know I would never sit here on any platform and blame that individual, for you know what took place after that particular, what I call gate. You know, you you've heard it clinically as a gateway and all that good stuff. For me it actually was.

T.O. Clay:

Uh, I'm not saying that it is for anybody else, but, to your claim, that was the gate that opened up. You know the gates for me that took me to a place, like you just said, where I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to be sitting here today. Lucky to be alive, I'm lucky to be sitting here today. Um, and I'm grateful to be sitting here today because it went from marijuana to okay, well, you know I'm used to smoking weed. Uh, well, what, what's that? White stuff? You got right there. This is powder cocaine. Man, try it, you're gonna take a bump. It ain't going to do nothing, it's just going to make you feel perky, make you feel hot.

T.O. Clay:

I tried it. You know, after a while, okay, you keep graduating. Next thing, you know we're taking it and we're sprinkling it on the marijuana. You know something different, something new. You know, when I say we, there was other individuals that I was engaged with. You know executing these different things Because, again, environment is very important, people, places and things is very important, and I didn't learn that until down the road, going through recovery, and ultimately I ended up abusing crack cocaine. You know, I'm 17 years old, just turned 17, 16 to 17 years old, and I found myself full-blown smoking crack cocaine. You know I'll say that again. You know, in case someone didn't hear it 17 years old, timothy O'Neill, clay TO Clay, I found myself little preacher's son, pk, youngest of three and a good home, good house absolutely.

T.O. Clay:

I ended up in that dark place.

Alethea Felton:

Wow, you know so what was the straw? What was the crossroads? Because something miraculous happened to you where your life came to a crossroad where you could have either gone this way or that way. Tell us about that miraculous happening at that crossroads that really changed your life.

T.O. Clay:

Oh, absolutely my pleasure. Again, I am grinning again, if you're listening. I'm grinning right now because I can't help it. It's real, you know. It's being really, truly present in the moment. It's true authenticity. This moment, right here, 3 September 2024, it is real and, and miraculously, you know, I was able to spend this past weekend in Fort Lauderdale, florida. This just past weekend, with a man who got to a place to where he didn't know what to do. He realized that the only thing I know to do with my young baby boy, son, is go to God and surrender, because I can't do anything else for him. I can't keep him out of jail. I can't keep him from stealing out of my wallet when I ain't looking. I can't keep him from being gone for 30 days at a time and we don't know if he's dead or alive. I can't keep him. I can't keep him. He goes to God and he says Father, god, my son is prodigal right now. I know the story in the word.

T.O. Clay:

I've stood in the pulpit and preached this word for years and now I'm being attacked and experiencing the exact same thing with my own baby boy, son. I surrender Father God. And I'd been out. I'd been out and I got to a place. I said, man, I want to go home. You know, I was telling my mom. I said, you know, ma, I remember it vividly. I was actually. I was missing my mom. You know I was missing the meals and that motherly love that only a mother can give. And I went to the house and my dad came to the door. Long story short, he was like you don't live here, you don't belong here. You're not coming up in here. Go back out there where you want to be. Go back out there in that world where you want to be. Go back out there in that world where you want to be. But you will not bring that mess or your messy self up in here. And I'm not paraphrasing. I'm standing on the porch and I had never heard my dad talk to me like that all the years. I'm like 18 years old at the time. I said, dad, I just want to come home. I don't want to be out there. No more, I need help. Those simple three words, sister, I need help.

T.O. Clay:

Began that transformation process because my dad he said, excuse me. He said you want help, you really want help. Okay, come in here, come in here right now. Walked in the house, he turned the light on in the living room. Once you walk in the house that we lived in at that time, he said get on your knees right now. I got on my knees. I'll tell the story to the day I transitioned off this planet forever. I got on my knees. He said you know you want help. There's only one source that can help you.

Alethea Felton:

That's right.

T.O. Clay:

And he started praying, my mom was on her knees over by the piano. And you know this is not folklore man, this is not allegory, this ain't spookyism, this is real. And once he began to pray, he was taking his hand and he was stroking the back of my neck. He's stroking the back of my neck and he's praying, deliberate. You know, come out of him. You will not take my son. You know this is my child and Father, god, restore right now, in the mighty name. He's praying, he's praying and I'm crying, my mother's crying. Next thing, you know, I just started vomiting.

T.O. Clay:

Wow, remember, when I looked at it it almost looked like, like, like, uh, dog vomit and it just just white and gooey and just a big old pile on my mama's carpet, and just it it pretty much looked like everything that I smoked and put into my system all came up at once and was in a pile for me to look at, right in front of me, and he said rise, my son. He said get up and receive it. And I think for the listeners out there that may have someone in your family maybe yourself, a friend that's dealing with these type of vices, these addictions, he said you have to receive it and you must claim it.

T.O. Clay:

You must claim the victory, because the victory is done. And man in that moment I started giving thanks and to this day you know that was probably in 1997, early 97.

Alethea Felton:

Wow so, 27 years ago, 27, 27 years. This is October. Now, yes, yeah, yeah 27 years.

T.O. Clay:

I've been drug free.

Alethea Felton:

ever since I've never trusted ever again in my life and I still claim the victory today, that's right.

T.O. Clay:

And I have to say this sis, I still claim that I'm not. You know, I'm not afraid to say it. Anyway, some people why would you say that you know words have power? Yeah, they do, but I'm an addict. Addict, the only difference is I choose not to use yeah I still have those same trigger points. People places things that's real but yeah, man, thank you for allowing me to share that of course.

Alethea Felton:

Yes, of course, because sometimes people live day to day trying to keep it all together and they may see a person's glory and not know their story, have no idea and only see the success and not know the is that you had a chance and I respect you for this. You had a chance to serve, if I'm not mistaken, 23 years in the military.

T.O. Clay:

Yes, 23.

Alethea Felton:

Tell us about that journey, because not only did you serve in the United States Marine Corps, but you moved way up the ranks. Yes, ma'am, marine Corps, but you move way up the ranks. How in the world do you go from being a quote-unquote drug addict to serving in the Marine Corps, and how has being a Marine shaped even the journey you're on now in terms of coaching, speaking and helping others? Take us on that trip.

T.O. Clay:

Oh, my goodness, man, it's, it's, it's a trip. You know, it really is a trip. And and that's again, man, that glow, we opened up and as I spoke about man, that that, trying my best to just walk in righteousness, man, it's like, uh, I realized the impact of my story. You know, I realize that, hey, every one of us have a story. You know, and I've had gentlemen to say, hey, man, clay, for me it wasn't drugs, it was abuse. Clay, for me it wasn't drugs, it was, it was alcohol. Clay, it was gambling. You know, whatever it could be, excuse me, but to be quite honest, that same man stood in the courtroom with me and I was released.

Alethea Felton:

Wait, wait, wait the courtroom.

T.O. Clay:

Yes, yes, circuit court to be exact.

Alethea Felton:

So you were charged with something.

T.O. Clay:

I was incarcerated twice. You know, I went, I went to jail.

Alethea Felton:

Hold on.

T.O. Clay:

Hold on yes.

Alethea Felton:

You got to make this plain you were incarcerated, yet you had the audacity to end up being in the Marine Corps.

T.O. Clay:

Yes, I actually had to go in front of a circuit court judge to be released to go to the Marine Corps the Marine recruiter. He stood right next to me. Because here's the thing and this is very profound and impactful because I played a lot of sports, I wasn't smoking drugs from elementary school all the way up until leaving to go to the Marine Corps Late 16, 17,. That little patch right there. But there's so many significant things that happened prior to Exactly my love. What I didn't mention when you asked me about what do I like to do to relax? Fishing, yes, reading, yes.

T.O. Clay:

But my most profound love, sis, is basketball. I love hooping, I love hooping. I love basketball and the mental saboteurs that I was dealing with, with a lot of transition that was happening leading up to the whole fall from grace type thing, if you want to call it that. I wasn't playing ball anymore, ok, anymore, okay, I start running with the wrong crowd. Uh, you know all sorts of different things that led up to that, but you know, there there's, there's a memoir out there that you could. You can exactly learn all about that. Yeah, I want to really address your question because I've been on many podcasts, but I promise you, man, you, you fired the the best questions I've been asked oh, thank you, that's what every single guest says.

Alethea Felton:

I'm just keeping it plain with you. But yeah, but how do you go from the courtroom to the Marine Corps?

T.O. Clay:

Yes, I have to say I knew. If I'm going to join any service man, I got to go to the best. Shout out to the Army, shout out to the Air Force, shout out to the Navy, the Coast Guard, space Force, man, we love you all, but as a United States Marine, it's only one Marine Corps.

Alethea Felton:

That's what my uncle says.

T.O. Clay:

Yes, yes, and that's not bragging, that's not arrogance. I mean, our track record speaks for itself. You know the New York Yankees have losses, the LA Lakers, boston Celtics, tiger Woods, they all have losses. The Marine Corps, on record, still this day, has no losses. Any contingency, any fight, any battle, any war. The Marine Corps has no losses, any contingency, any fight, any battle, any war. The Marine Corps has no losses because the Marine Corps is comprised of a lot of individuals. Just like me, you know we come from the mud.

Alethea Felton:

For a lot of us. I'm sorry, go ahead. Yeah, no, that's true, because even with my uncle's story of getting in it wasn't exactly like yours, but it was a matter of my grandparents were really at their wits ends with him.

T.O. Clay:

Yeah, yeah, see again, that's. That's why, if I was just set with him, we have a natural bond, not only just in the fact that we're Marines, but we have a bond and understanding. The Marine Corps is the smallest branch of service, but we have a bond and understanding. The Marine Corps is the smallest branch of service. The Marine Corps yes, yes, Marine Corps is usually around about one hundred eighty five thousand strong kind of dances in that window.

T.O. Clay:

One hundred eighty five, maybe one, eighty six, but I ended up there. The proud, the few, the Marine, it makes sense now. Yes, oh, I see, okay, the feud of proud, yes, so, uh it, it was destiny. And, like I said, I played a lot of sports. I was used to getting yelled at from coaches and, you know, getting fired up in the locker room and and that camaraderie and that, that bonding and, uh, working hard in in basketball. You know, I played organized basketball all the way up to, you know, like my sophomore year of high school, and things just plummeted in a lot of what we would say piss, poor decision making. But I was a young fella, take full accountability for it.

T.O. Clay:

And I stood in front of the circuit court judge, and and she said, if you, she said, if you would have asked me to go to any other branch of service, you wouldn't even be standing in this courtroom. She said but I know a little bit about the Marine Corps. Because how do I know? She said because my grandfather was a Marine and he practically raised me was a Marine and he practically raised me. She said, but I'm going to tell you this you know, the Marine Corps is not going to play games with you, you know. So it could be double jeopardy for you. You go there and you start hacking them full. You're going to be in trouble there and then you'll come back here and be in trouble as well.

T.O. Clay:

And I remember she asked Sergeant William Perry from St Louis, missouri that was the recruiter that was trying to get me in. I remember she said do you have anything, sir? And he said you know, ma'am, thank you just for allowing us to be here. I can tell you, this young man will never be in this courtroom again. This young man will be on a bus to Paris Island, south Carolina, by the end of this month and he's not gonna ever look back. That's right, and man, I'm so grateful for that moment.

T.O. Clay:

And she told me. She said well, if you do four years honorably, uh, I will consider expunging your record, because at the time I had two felonies for possession of cocaine, paraphernalia, marijuana. You know, I've been, you know, caught up twice and, like I said, all of that is prior to the prayer. The prayer dad stroked my neck. All of this is prior to that. So when I came back home, I'm saying, hey, I don't know what to do. I need help. You know, I don't want to go back to jail, I don't want to end up dead, because when you're out there fooling with that stuff, that's your alternative You're either going to end up in prison or you're going to end up dead.

T.O. Clay:

There's never a good ending story to living that lifestyle or being, you know, in that type of conducive environment. So I ended up in the Marine Corps and I that type of conducive environment. So ended up in the Marine Corps and I thrived. You know, because, like I said, I was used to, you know, organized sports and playing ball and you know my parents were real Like we couldn't get up as kids and not make our bed. You know, we had to clean the kitchen, we had to take the trash out, I had to be out in the yard with daddy picking up leaves and all of that good stuff. You know we were in Kentucky. Kentucky gets cold. I'm out there cutting wood to bring in the house and put in the fireplace.

T.O. Clay:

So I had a structure. So, learning that structure along with the Marine Corps, going through boot camp 13 weeks, I needed that and that was the biggest thing. It was like man, I'm getting sober, I'm getting back into shape and I'm ultimately finding myself again, and I share that with anyone listening, watching. Sometimes we lose ourselves, sometimes we don't know who we are, and sometimes you have to make a bold adjustment. Something miraculous has to take place. It may require you to move, it may require you to walk away from the job that you're on right now, but unless you make a bold adjustment, you can probably expect for a lot of the same results.

Alethea Felton:

Wow, that is absolutely incredible. That is absolutely incredible. And y'all, coach Tio, he's a humble man and he doesn't brag on himself, but I will share with you that, yes, while he spent 23 years in the Marine Corps, he worked himself all the way up to E-9, which is a sergeant major. He's a retired sergeant major. He's a retired sergeant major. So throughout your career, coach Tio, you helped others through your story and you help others pull out lessons from their own stories and lives. But you had to do some coaching there. You had to give discipline. You help people with mental clarity, decision making, all of that, and so I could talk to you forever, but our time is coming to a close. What leadership lessons from the military has most influenced your approach to how you do your coaching business now? What do you apply in coaching that you did in the Marines?

T.O. Clay:

Okay, what do I apply in coaching? Now? Again, the greatest questions I've had. Man Like this, this is absolutely amazing and I thank you so much.

Alethea Felton:

Thank you, sir, thank you.

T.O. Clay:

It's, it's it's serving, it's serving leadership for one. You know, and you're right. I don't like to talk about myself a lot, you know, I just don't. But when it comes to coaching and what I learned as a United States Marine, it's simple. All Marines know this, that I'm about the same. And if you're listening in, write it down, put it in your notes on your phone, because it really truly works. And it's this free game right here. You know it's free game, I don't claim it, I learned it as a Marine and I still apply it to this free game right here. You know it's free game, I don't claim it, I learned it as a Marine and I still apply it to this day.

T.O. Clay:

And it's a phrase called JJ. Did Ty Buckle? I'll say it again JJ is, if I'm having a conversation with just a normal person, hey, jj, did Ty Buckle? Having a conversation with just a normal person, hey, jj, did Ty Buck? Now that J is justice, judgment, dependability, integrity, decisiveness, tact integrity, integrity, enthusiasm, bearing endurance, as you were, unselfishness I'm sorry I got it screwed up. B is bearing, u is unselfishness, c is courage, k is knowledge, l is loyalty and E is enthusiasm. I think the first E was endurance, endurance. Okay, got you. I think the first E was endurance.

Alethea Felton:

Endurance Okay, got you, got you, I understand.

T.O. Clay:

Absolutely, but that phrase has saved many lives across this nation. When you're riding down the street and you see that car in front of you that has that little Marine Corps emblem.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah.

T.O. Clay:

You know that gold seal on the bumper or on the license plate. Know that that simple term JJ did Ty Buckle has saved many lives. Wow has restored many lives, such as myself, such as your uncle, you know, and countless.

T.O. Clay:

Marines, male, female, myself such as your uncle and countless Marines male, female, black, hispanic, it doesn't matter Once we all learn justice, judgment, dependability, initiative, decisiveness, tact, integrity, enthusiasm, bearing unselfishness, courage, knowledge, loyalty and endurance, like all of those things you have to apply in your life. You know you have to govern yourself. I won't go through each one, but you know I use that still to this day. When I'm speaking to youth, when I'm speaking to corporations, when I'm speaking to the church organizations, I'm speaking to my own sons. That's right.

T.O. Clay:

I got a 15-year-old and a 10-year-old. I just took my son yesterday, my 15-year-old, to get his first suit. Oh, dnk, suit City, one of the best in Atlanta Shout out to DNK. But those older gentlemen in there understood the assignment. They understood, okay, this little young 15-year-old got his dad with him, got his little brother 10-year-old with him. We're going to get him ready for his first high school dance as a freshman. And I'll tell you, sis, it was an amazing experience because those other gentlemen were able to pour in. They were talking to him about the things such as barring, like, hey, man, when you step out, you want to have bearing. What's a nice young lady going to look at? When they first look at you, young man, my son was like they say she's going to look at your feet.

Alethea Felton:

That's right. So will that's right. Hey, if we had the bullhorn right now, that would be Exactly.

T.O. Clay:

That's it, yes man oh yeah, oh man, they schooled my young, schooled him. But but again, like you said, save for time. Uh, that's, that's just something simple that I use. Of course, jj, didn't tie buckle man, I'll take that with me forever.

Alethea Felton:

Of course, and in terms of your story in your book From here to there, prodigal and Back, and of course you're also in Born to Risk, but from here to there, prodigal and back, you talk about redemption in a world full of temptations. And so what would you say to someone who may be listening or watching, but they absolutely feel stuck when it comes to their cycle of self-doubt or poor habits and struggling to find their way out? What would you say to them as a tip to at least start the process of getting themselves unstuck from that which has them bound?

T.O. Clay:

Yes, first and foremost man I know God is is is this conversation because I'm actually dealing with a close individual right now that obviously I don't consider as a client. He's a friend, he's a person I've known quite some time and he used that exact thing that you just said. He says I'm stuck. I don't have clarity.

Alethea Felton:

It's.

T.O. Clay:

I'm stuck, I don't have clarity, I'm all over the place. Wow, I feel alone. And hearing him saying these things from from the coaching mindset, for starters, I know he's the hero, I'm the guy you know and, being a listening ear as the guy you know, I want him to hear himself. We're having a dialogue on instant messenger and we're not talking ear to ear on the phone. I hear his voice in his mind. We're using instant messenger, so he's sending a message. I send a message back, send a message.

T.O. Clay:

And you know I told him, I said sometimes you know you could speak your own solution. You know it takes. It takes a deeper level of intuition. It takes a deeper level of understanding what we're dealing with. A lot of times you know symptoms of things. You know I look at these things and I say, okay, for me personally, I know that I battle with depression. It's a part of me, you know I, I, I see visions and and and you know, I know a hundred percent there's certain tools that I must utilize daily and something simple as taking my fingers and rubbing my index finger with my thumb calms me. So, again, those tools. So, with him, hearing him open up because some people they don't know how to open up, they don't know what to see, they're looking for anything to cling towards. Sometimes they're suffering in silence, as we both know. But to say, hey man, I care bro, is one thing, but to actually show the action of really caring, taking a step towards him Because, like I told, him.

T.O. Clay:

I understand my saboteur, taking a step towards him Because, like I told him, I understand my saboteur. My saboteur could be being a stickler towards you, or you're toxic, or you got things going on. I'm too busy right now, or whatever the case may be. But, like I told him, you know I care in a deeper layer that I want to see you understand that, hey, man, there is light bro, there is a light in you, and trying my best to get him to see that a lot of times is allowing him, as that hero, to speak. Okay, I hear myself saying these specific things, but I also know, deeper into intuition of me, that there was something that really happened that got me to this place yes, exactly and and how, how to, how to really be in touch with that internal, like I said, people places in things.

T.O. Clay:

There's certain things that it's going to always be. There's no, oh magic pill that just fixes, you know, I I feel, yeah, there's pills out there. Don't get me wrong, that's not for everyone and some people don't choose to go that route. But being a listening ear, I think, I think we could do so much better as a society in general with that interpersonal communication, personal communication.

Alethea Felton:

Exactly yeah, wow, yeah, and I will definitely be keeping your friend in my prayers, please do. We all use help sometimes, so at least your friend felt vulnerable and safe enough to at least come to you. Yes, share.

Alethea Felton:

Yes, enough to at least come to you, share and so. So, if a person wants to buy any of your books or find out how they can connect with you, do you have a website? Are you on social media? How can they even hear your? And we didn't even talk about your own podcast and how you have a show, so so how can people learn more about you? I'm going to have to have you on again in the future because we can talk about a lot of other things, but how can a person contact you?

T.O. Clay:

Easiest way to contact me would be to call 770-383-1967. 770-383-1967. That's a direct pipeline to me TO Clay Lightbulb Lessons. I'm going to answer, trust me, that last question that you just asked. It's real man. I could probably answer that question in 20 different ways, because each individual is individual in terms of what they're going through. So I want to be contacted. I, like you said, I'm so grateful just to hear my man's voice.

Alethea Felton:

That's right.

T.O. Clay:

To know that. Hey TO, I love you, bro, and this is what I'm experiencing, and that's the first step to that real healing is the admit it, dad, I need help. And the breakthrough happened. Hey TO, I need help. Next thing, you know, because he's a veteran as well, like hey man, you know you could go to the VA. You know it just opens up the corridor for God to move.

T.O. Clay:

So also wwwlightbulblessonscom. That's all one word lightbulblessonscom. If you typed in light bulb, I'm popping up somewhere. You're going to see a podcast episode, you're going to see a training, you're going to see something and you can purchase the book there. That's right. If you go to that website, to that Web site, you will see it is there, it's a great book, it's a great read and I'm not being biased about that. It is really my life and in the impact that I've experienced since it came out in March has been amazing. It's touching lives, it's really touching lives and it took courage to speak that story. You know, because, like you said earlier, a lot of people just see the success now. Oh, he's successful. Oh, he's this, he's coaching, he's podcast, he's a retired Marine, he's got it all figured out. But no, you know, like you said, that darkness is right around the corner.

T.O. Clay:

That's right and we have to stay engaged. These conversations, you know putting ourselves in miracle territory. This is real miracle territory, right here Speaking with you, and I can't wait to bring you on my podcast.

Alethea Felton:

Thank you.

T.O. Clay:

You're welcome, known, as you know where leaders come and we shine light. That's it we're. We're all leaders, we're from all different backgrounds. And what can we do to share our light bulb lesson to help someone else? If it's a personal agenda, or I'm coming on because I want to get more followers, I want to get leads and I want to get man, my, my show's not for you, it's for those calls to 770-383-1967. And some of the young fella out in New Mexico saying hey, man, I listened to the show, it's amazing man, I learned so much. I'm thinking about going to the military. Or, hey, man, I love the light and I'm trying to work on love, because I'm not getting a lot of love at home. So how can I love better even though I'm not getting that love reciprocated?

Alethea Felton:

so, and and all the different platforms in terms of ig, uh, facebook, it's all in the to clinton I try to keep it simple and and I'll put all of that in the show notes also Random question Is your father still living?

T.O. Clay:

Yes.

Alethea Felton:

Still alive, and your mom also.

T.O. Clay:

Yes.

Alethea Felton:

So the reason why I ask is as a closing question when you think back to when you showed up at your parents' doorstep and you literally had hit rock bottom, yes, what would you say to them in terms of the gift that they gave you that day that has led you to?

T.O. Clay:

be who you are right now. Oh man, I have to say it. You know, like I say, it's in real time. I was with my dad this past weekend. Oh, a lot of Florida. Well, the He-Man Conference. Shout out to Dr Oliver T Reed and all the He-Man brothers out there, shout out. We had the annual He-Man Conference this past weekend in Fort Lauderdale, florida. My father, who's been preaching for over 60 years, my brother, who is a bishop right now, shout out to my brother kenny, my big brother.

T.O. Clay:

They both got on the plane in the storm and they flew down and, mind you, everything that could have possibly happened to stop this conference happened, because when you bring that power of men into one room, we we had speakers flying in from all over, but I got to share a hotel space at the Marriott with my dad up on the 16th floor. The room number was 1607. Soon, as you get off the elevator and bang the left in the hall first room on the left and I got to lay in my bed as dad laid in the other bed, and we'd land there on our sides like little kids in the fetal and we're looking across at each other and we're just talking and I'm telling my dad that look how far God has brought us. Full circle, dad, and I'm able to share this moment with you and we're able to worship the Lord together and we're able to come together and pour into other men, we're able to stand in the gap and full circle completion. Here we sit today and I said, dad, you're older man, you might not be here next year. I pray you are Knock on wood. I pray, man, you might not be here next year. I pray you are knock on wood, I pray I am. I may not be here next year, but we're present in the moment and for every opportunity we have together, man, I thank you. I thank you for saying you know what.

T.O. Clay:

Okay, you want to come back home? All right, come on in here and get on your knees. You didn't let me come in and run up to the room and close the door and act like I don't know y'all nothing In your house. See, now I'm a man, now, now I have my own house and I tell my sons like, hey, bro, you don't run this crib, this is mine, you know, and we're going to serve God up in here, bro, I and we're going to serve God up in here, bro, I'm not telling you it's got to be no holy, roly, poly, but, man, we're going to pray before we eat. Man, we're going to pray as a family. A family that prays together stays together. So, and my mother, man, bless her heart.

T.O. Clay:

Man, I look just like my mother, you know, by the way, I look just like a spitting image man and I shout her out all the time because I tell her man, to every strong man, there's a strong woman. You know a lot of people they may think I'm crazy when I say this, but the Holy Grail is the woman, it ain't some rusty cup. You know, on Indiana Jones, the Holy Grail is you, my sister. You, the Holy Grail. Look how many people you're inspiring. Grail is you, my sister, you, the Holy Grail. Look how many people you're inspiring.

T.O. Clay:

You know the 100th episode man Shout out to you Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy, man, to know you, to continue to work with you, but again, tomorrow's not promised man, our number one asset is time and great minds coming together, sharing our intellect together to love the feeling. You're pk, I'm a pk man. We we get. We could change the world, me and you. I believe that I believe you and I could change the world. I believe a. You know we don't. We don't have to have on former nba jerseys and you know all, all of this high power to make real impact and we're doing that now and I just want to thank you today, man, for the platform.

Alethea Felton:

Oh.

T.O. Clay:

Bill, I've been. I've been looking forward to this. I told my dad this weekend, man, I've got a podcast coming up Thursday. It's going to be amazing. Yeah, she fire. And I'm just grateful, man.

Alethea Felton:

So I really appreciate that and thank you for gracing this platform with your presence, and I continue to hope and pray nothing but the best for you, your wife, your children, your entire family, and you are doing incredible things, and the best is yet to come, and thank you again for being on the Power Transformation podcast.

T.O. Clay:

Thank you so much and, as we always love to say, peace.

Alethea Felton:

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow or subscribe, leave a five-star rating and write a review. It helps us inspire even more listeners. And don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who could use a little power in their transformation. Until next time, keep bouncing back, keep rising and be good to yourself and to others.

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