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The Power Transformation Podcast
125. Mastering Sales Confidence with Brian K. McNeill
What if the key to success wasn’t just skill, but the confidence to keep going? In this episode, Brian K. McNeill - the Sales Confidence Coach - shares his powerful journey from a childhood love of basketball to overcoming personal and professional failures that ultimately shaped his success as a businessman, award winning author, and speaker. Through resilience, continuous learning, and a mindset shift, Brian redefined not only his approach to sales but also his life. His story is a testament to true transformation, proving that you, too, can turn obstacles into opportunities and purpose.
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Episode 125's Affirmation:
I am a magnet for abundance and prosperity, creating a life of financial freedom and well-being.
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Whenever you think of a salesman, what comes to mind? Do you think of someone who's a hustler or trying to bamboozle you or scam you? Or do you think, hey, I could actually get something valuable from this person? Well, what if I were to tell you that those of us who are in sales yes, I said us, because those of us who are entrepreneurs sell every day? But what if I were to tell you that sales does not have to be a bad word and that you could actually come across a person who is confident enough to truly master sales and help you invest or participate in something that is going to be worth your while? Well, I say all of that because my guest today, brian K McNeil, is the sales confidence coach. He is a speaker, an award-winning author, and he teaches entrepreneurs how to master sales and to have confidence while doing so. But even if you are not an entrepreneur, you can certainly learn from him, because Brian has an incredible story about how he got to where he is today, and you don't want to miss this transformational story about who Brian K McNeill is. So welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast.
Alethea Felton:K McNeil is so welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, Alethea Felton, and I am honored to have you with me today. Thank you for keeping this podcast as a successful podcast with its ranking. It is because of you that I am able to bring you valuable content and guests that have powers of resilience, overcoming obstacles and challenges like none other, and Brian K McNeill is no exception. I have come to know him and respect him, and I am grateful that he is a guest on this episode. So let's jump right into his podcast interview. We're going to begin with our affirmation. I will say it once and then you repeat it I am a magnet for abundance and prosperity, creating a life of financial freedom and well-being. I am so thrilled and thrilled is a true understatement to have Brian K McNeill as my guest today. Brian is one of the most vibrant, alive, enthusiastic people you will ever meet. Brian, welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast.
Brian K. McNeill :Sister Alethea, I am honored to be here with you, my sister, and I feel like you're my sister too. Indeed, we're going to have a wonderful time. Thank you for having me.
Alethea Felton:Of course, yes, indeed. So, look, I always like to start with an icebreaker question, and so, yeah, a fun icebreaker question so that we can get to know you All right, A fun icebreaker question so that we can get to know you All right, brian, what is one of your first favorite childhood memories that pops in your brain? Tell?
Brian K. McNeill :us what that is. Ok, I grew up in Brooklyn, new York, and at age nine I discovered a love of basketball and I started playing basketball every day, all day. And in Brooklyn, new York, people live on a block. Okay, my block had a basketball court across the street from the end of the block and I was there every day, all day and a lot of people on my block didn't realize that I had been developing. So by the time I was like 12, I was really, really good, and one of my favorite memories and this is the first one that popped in my head when you said it is I had a game and a lot of my block, a lot of my neighbors who hadn't seen me in years play basketball.
Brian K. McNeill :They knew I was going off. They were at that game and I was going off. I could hardly miss. I scored a ton of points and even at the end of the game, when it got down to we needed one more basket to win, everybody knew Ryan was going to score because I had scored all game. I think I might've missed two shots and made like 12 or 13 of them. So that was just amazing and everybody's like well, you know he's going to make it, and I did.
Alethea Felton:Yes, I love that. So how long approximately did you play basketball?
Brian K. McNeill :For my whole life.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, from nine till.
Brian K. McNeill :I'm going to say so.
Alethea Felton:Thirty six.
Brian K. McNeill :OK, I broke my kneecap when I was twenty six, so I was off the court for like a year and a half but but I still play from time until I got too old where I couldn't afford to be injured anymore.
Alethea Felton:I see, okay, well, you know what. Everything happens for a reason, and just the fact you were able to play like that all of those years, and although you had that injury, it didn't stop you from doing what you needed to do in this life, and that's what I absolutely love. So this is my next question you coined yourself as the sales confidence coach, so I'm going to ask you to put in your own words who is Brian K McNeil?
Brian K. McNeill :Besides, the best looking man you ever met, brian K McNeil is. He's a believer for second and third. He's a husband, he's a father and he's a grandfather, and he's a great one. But he's also a man who spends his days in his life trying to do the very best, best he can, with what God has blessed him with. I think that God is uniquely gifted and qualified and prepared me to teach people how to sell themselves and their services so they earn more money, and my honor back to God is to do that with as good as I can, and if I'm ever not doing what I think he asked me to do, I feel like I'm not showing honor to God. So I live my life by the basic tenets of the parable of the talents in.
Brian K. McNeill :Colossians 3 and 23 and Proverbs 11 and 26.
Alethea Felton:Yes, that's it. Yes, indeed, and let me hone in more on this confidence aspect and getting people to change their views on sales and getting them to make money, as you say. I love how you say that. Money that's right, money that's right. But take us back to before you became the sales confidence coach, brian. What was your relationship with confidence like in your personal life? So, in your early upbringings in Brooklyn, did you always have this level of confidence, and how did those early relationships experiences, how did those experiences in childhood shape your views on confidence and success?
Brian K. McNeill :Wow, I'm the oldest of four, with three younger sisters.
Brian K. McNeill :Oh, okay, so I was always big brother and my parents had me at an age when they were still young. So by the time I'm eight, nine, they still want to party, they still want to go out. So I was home with my two younger sisters for most of the time and I was big brother, reading to my younger sisters they liked it a lot and leading the house, making sure they're fed, so I'm taking responsibility for them. In school I was a reader. I always read.
Brian K. McNeill :I was a comic book guy, so it seemed like I was smarter than the other kids by the age, by fourth grade. It was the first time someone acknowledges that Brian is the smartest boy in school. Okay, in the fourth grade he's the smartest boy in the fourth grade. He's the smartest boy. In the fifth grade, he's the smartest boy in the fourth grade. The smartest boy in the fifth grade, the smartest boy in the sixth grade. And by then you couldn't convince me that I wasn't the smartest boy, because I heard that a lot and I acted as if I was the smartest. I behaved that way and if you're the smartest, you got to get good grades. You know you got to, you got to knock it out. So I would make sure I would score well on all the set tests because it became a part of my identity. Now, when I got into the world of professional sales, I did not start off confident. I knew I didn't know and the company's training was hang in there, you'll figure it out.
Brian K. McNeill :That was the training, and for the first 10 months I was in professional sales. I was dying. I was not making money, I was failing. No one was training me, they were shunning me around the office because I was the youngest person there and I was one of only two Black people there.
Brian K. McNeill :And, if I could, it was demeaning in a way too, because they gave out the weekly paychecks live and in the conference room in the meetings on Fridays, and they would do it this way. There was a large oval table and everybody could sit all around the table. They go here's a man with a check over $1,000 and they'd hand him his check. Here's another man with a check over $1,000 and hand him his check. And if your check was less than $1,000 that week, they would just give it to you. They didn't say nothing, oh my gosh. And you couldn't speak either. You couldn't say anything.
Brian K. McNeill :So it was obvious they valued you on the size of your check that week my introduction into sales. So if your check was less than a thousand dollars, you couldn't talk at all. You didn't know what you was doing. It was terrible, you were bad at it and I had the blessing and the unfortunateness of the first company I worked with. They weren't very scrupulous men and I am scrupulous, I'm a believer, I'm not going to do anything unethical ever but they were making jokes about their customers. That lady doesn't even know what she bought, ha ha ha. And I thought that was despicable and I was asking my God, how can these unscrupulous people make all this money when the good guy is not making no money?
Brian K. McNeill :And my life changed. One hot day in August To get out of the heat, I stumbled into a used bookstore and, as if by providence, I ended up in the business book section and discovered a book on selling, and before then I didn't know there was such a thing as a book on how to sell yeah, I found one.
Brian K. McNeill :It's called master, the art of selling, and on page four of that book my sister it told me what I needed to hear, because I started reading it right there. Page four was why you cannot fail in selling, and I needed someone to tell me why I couldn't fail. And he was basically talking about if you just do what you need to do, these steps here, basic steps you're not going to be able to fail. You can't fail. So I bought the book and I started turning pages and I got a little bit better. And then I got another one that got a little bit better. And then I read another book and I got a little bit better. And then I started raising myself up the totem pole.
Brian K. McNeill :It did another thing too. It did a monthly leaderboard. So whoever was the top salesperson from the previous month, his name goes on the top of the board and the second place person goes second and the third place, and it was 15 salespeople. And for the first 10 months my name was always at the bottom, but my name got raised up the leaderboard as I started turning pages. One of the books says read for 30 minutes to an hour before you go to work. And I did that because I knew I didn't know I would do anything a book on sales said to do. If it said to stand on your hands, I would have did that. But as I read I got a little bit better and then my confidence came and then I won salesperson of the month. And then I won salesperson of the month all the time. Then I started winning all the contests. I'm winning trips, winning our rental Cadillacs. So I started to believe I'm pretty good at this game.
Brian K. McNeill :But I didn't stop reading, and by my count, I've read more than 700 books on how to sell, manage salespeople and personal development.
Alethea Felton:I believed it, yes, and I didn't read them at once, but over time of course, keep it going, of course, and I think and and I think you touched on something really key that could definitely be a whole other conversation Is that people, especially entrepreneurs or people who are in business or people in general that just want to be excellent at what they do, I think sometimes some people lose sight that reading is truly fundamental.
Brian K. McNeill :That's a good place to hang out.
Alethea Felton:All of the answers are right at your fingertips if you discipline yourself enough to read. I've heard people and it's available to everyone. It's available. And I've heard people say I don't like reading, I don't do this, it's too. And I've heard people say I don't like reading, I don't do this, it's too many excuses. If you're hungry enough for it, you will find a way. Personally me, as you know, former teacher, school leader, et cetera I've always just by me having ADHD and being hyper and stuff Audible or audio books have always worked best for me.
Brian K. McNeill :And that's available.
Alethea Felton:But yes, and it's reading in some form, and so, talking about your confidence here I want to go back a little bit, okay, in thinking about your parents, your sisters, people in your community and how you eventually grew more and more confident in your workplace, in your early upbringing or even early adult life. Brian share about someone who was influential in those early years, who planted the seeds of resilience even before you even embarked on your entrepreneurial journey.
Brian K. McNeill :Well, this is not going to sound pretty.
Alethea Felton:Okay.
Brian K. McNeill :That's okay. But as I started to get, I won a storytelling contest in Brooklyn, new York, and in fourth grade I was the fourth grade winner for best storyteller. I told a story in a competition and I won and I was really excited about that. But the people in my household my mom and dad were not excited about it. They did great, big deal and I would win awards. So by the time I got to sixth grade I realized I could only really celebrate here at school, not at the house, because they didn't want to hear it. So it made me internal. So I started looking at it as this is my school. These are my accomplishment, not theirs. I stopped showing report cards even so. I just started because they didn't big deal. It was like big deal. So I just got very internalized and I wanted to excel, but I did it just because I wanted to, not for anybody else. I don't know if that sounds pretty or not, but it got to that place for me. That's what I had to do.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, and that's your truth. That is your truth, and it doesn't mean at all that your parents or people around you were bad people. They had their experiences and it was a different era.
Alethea Felton:And they had experiences prior, yeah, and they did what they did to make a living, to take care of the family and the home. Their mind was elsewhere and that's okay. I'm just glad you had some type of outlet at school where you actually did that. Now here you are selling and I see you now, know you now, but a part of your story that maybe the masses might not necessarily know, although you do speak on thousands of platforms and you even speak on your own platform thousands of platforms and you even speak on your own platform but you decided to pivot, take that leap of faith and start your own business.
Alethea Felton:However, brian, your story is unique in the fact that you tried, then you had to fall back. Then you tried again, fell back. After that second try. A lot of people just would have thrown in a towel, but it took you multiple times before your business finally succeeded. So how did those experiences of having to go back into the corporate world, failing coming back, tell us about your entrepreneurial mindset and what lessons have you carried forward that contributed to your ultimate now success?
Brian K. McNeill :Well, you're right, as I was, I became a corporate sales trainer 17 offices and I was just training salespeople between North Carolina, virginia, and I was basically teaching them. This is in the 90s. It's a different mindset. Back then we thought the key to being a great salesperson was being a great sales closer. So I started teaching people how to close sales and overcoming objections, and that was my full time job. How to overcome objection and close sales. You can't sell like that today. No one would tolerate that today. But back then I had written a report called the 22 must closes 22 ways. I thought every salesperson called the 22 must closes 22 ways. I thought every salesperson should know how to ask for money. So I started teaching that and I got my celebrity. But one day a lady gut punched me. She says Brian, you, um, you get great training and you quote and all of these other books. Where's your book?
Alethea Felton:And.
Brian K. McNeill :I didn't have one.
Alethea Felton:Wow, wow.
Brian K. McNeill :I had a report that I wrote wrote. That wasn't a real book, so, oh, I didn't have one. So but my confidence was high at that point because I started hearing enough times this is the best sales trade that I ever received. I started getting to that and my company was changing stuff around and I felt it was a bit racial and I was like, okay, I'm out of here, I'm going to hang on my own shingle.
Brian K. McNeill :My first company was called Rhino Sales and Seminars and I launched into the deep. I hung out, I'm the opener and I was armed with no clients, but I had enthusiasm. I was excited about doing this. So what I was doing was so old school, alethea. I would just go to a company boldly. I'd walk in the door. I didn't care what was going on. I'd go up to whoever's front. I would say who cares the most about how well you guys sell in this company? Who cares the most about how well you sell? That would be Mr Such and Such. Is he here? Yeah, but what's going on? I'm Brian K McNeil and I teach people how to sell better, and they would bring me back.
Brian K. McNeill :And my first month I got six new clients armed with nothing but enthusiasm. And I made a lot of money that first month and I was so excited. And then the next month, after I had made all the sales the first month, the next month I'm servicing them and my income went down. And my income went down and it went a little bit lower, a little bit lower until it was gone and I had an old shoot expression what am I going to do? But I had bills. I had two car payments, a mortgage, a wife and kids. I had to go back into corporate America. My first venture failed. So I went back into corporate America doing what I do selling and becoming managers and salespeople. And then, when my confidence got bolstered again, I did because I didn't want to work for anybody anymore.
Alethea Felton:Even when.
Brian K. McNeill :I went back the second time. I still had the taste of being my own boss. Ok, so I quit him again and I didn't just ease into it. I went full bore, you know, went to my pastor. She didn't want me to do it. My wife at the time, I didn't want him to do this with my pastor about it because it was marital strife. He says so you've already decided to do it. Yes, he goes. Good, now go make it work. That's what my pastor said. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. So I went to go make it work. Same thing happened. I made a lot of money and then less and less and less until it was gone. I was like what's going on? That's twice. I had to go back to corporate America to keep the thing moving. Lose that wife, okay. After my third attempt I went back and I've gotten confident again. I went back into it. The same dynamic, alethea, when I first launched make a lot of money and then less and less and less, until I have to go get a security blanket. And it was happening on the fourth try. The fourth try is what made me stick by.
Brian K. McNeill :Then I was a single man. I lived in a small house by myself, just me and my cat, archie. I had a big cat named Archie, and Wolf was at the door. My Cadillac payment was past due, my rent was past due, my cell phone was probably past due too, and I was thinking, oh my God, I got to go get a job.
Brian K. McNeill :But I stood in my living room floor and I talked to my heavenly father with tears in my eyes and said I don't care if they take everything this time I'm not quitting. They can take my car, they can evict me. Long as I got clothes on my back that day, I wasn't going to quit. So I was going to stay in business. And I promise you, alethea, when I said that and I really believe he heard me, because I wasn't going to quit, I ain't care if they took all of it and I meant it, they could have took every possession I had. I wasn't going to quit this time, not this time. I had done it too many times before. And um, I got a phone call a few days later saying Brian, we have an event this Friday. The speaker that we booked to talk about sales cannot show. It pays $2,500.
Alethea Felton:My.
Brian K. McNeill :God, can you show? I know it's short notice, but it's $2,500. Can you be here? I could be there and I promise you, sister, I needed that money. Of course, I had no way of knowing where that money was going to come from, but it wasn't my business to know where it was coming from. God took care of me there and it's been amazing since. It's been amazing since then.
Alethea Felton:Indeed, oh my goodness. So it is literally, I mean almost similar, and for viewers and listeners who aren't Christian, that's okay. But I want to compare it to, almost in a sense, your own story of Job, because in the Bible there's a man named Job.
Brian K. McNeill :Yes, yes.
Alethea Felton:Literally, you know, had so many riches and land and popularity, wealth and everything, family and literally despite his faithfulness and, Brian, although you tried and tried, you stayed faithful, but sometimes businesses just don't work out Say that again because someone needs to hear that right now you can do everything right, you can do everything right, and business will not always last.
Alethea Felton:But the difference with you is like Job. Job never threw in the towel. Even when he was sick, even when he lost land, children, all of his wealth, job still honored God, and although you had to come to God with tears in your eyes, crying out, sometimes, that's when the breakthrough comes, is when you cry out. Right, and so to know that everything orchestrated for that to happen. But what I'd like to ask you is during that darkest moment, how did how did it affect how you felt about yourself as a man?
Brian K. McNeill :That's a good question, because I was asking bad questions to myself. How can I be a smart man and not figure this out? Why do smart people fail? Why are you failed, ryan? Are you a screw up? Okay, why you can't get this done, those are bad questions. Am I a screw up? Am I a failure? Am I bad at this? I thought I was good at it. How come I'm not making this work? How come I'm not making this work? Those are wrong questions. And if anyone watches this podcast and you're asking yourself that, what happens when good people or smart people, or diligent people still fail, this is the wrong question. Ok, the question should be more of can I do this? And the answer you ask can I do? I have the requisite skills, the experience, can I do this? Am I good at this? If you ask yourself that your brain will go find the answer, the answer come back resoundingly yes, you can. You just got got to be buoyant. You got to be able to stay here for a little bit longer, okay. So I was asking myself horrible questions and I did feel defeated a lot of time.
Brian K. McNeill :Every time I went back into corporate america, I did it with my tail tucked between my legs and I didn't want to go. The last time I had a corporate job, I was only there for three months. The first month was all training, it was sales. The second month the first month they let us sell. I got salesperson of the month. Wow, yep, I did my first full month and they were laying people off. It was a big company. It was laying people off, but every single day I didn't like it. It was in my belly. I felt pregnant with. I want to, even I'll be out and about.
Brian K. McNeill :Someone says what do you do? I would say I'm a sales coach, but I wasn't coaching anybody. Okay, that was just a fly out of my mouth, what I'm even thinking. That's who I was and I didn't like it. Every day I had to clock in and just churned in my belly. It was painful. So I finally said to them look, next time you guys lay off, because that job did help stabilize me for a little bit. It helped me to get back on my feet. But next time y'all lay off, lay me off too. He goes no, no, no, brian, you're doing good. Nah, I don't want to be here like that. But I didn't have enough to quit because I had needed to get a rescue, and I got my rescue. But it wasn't working, and the day they fired me was the happiest day of my life. It was a spring day, the sun was shining, there was plenty of light, birds were chirping, my car was clean. I was ready to go be me.
Alethea Felton:That's right, yeah, and I find it so astonishing that you will automatically just say I'm a sales coach. It was no second guessing it or doubting, because it's as if you already knew that's who you were. But the present you at that time simply had to catch up with the vision that you vision, that the person you already knew that you were, and I think that is so profound and significant and also during this time you talked about it slightly, but when your marriage, when your first marriage, died, how did it have an effect on your children?
Alethea Felton:Because your children are everything. So what was your relationship like with your children during that time, as you were trying to really get these businesses off of the ground? And how did your children even give you inspiration, even if not directly, but how did they inspire you to keep going?
Brian K. McNeill :Well, I became one of those every other weekend dads.
Brian K. McNeill :So I would have them every other weekend until I had to move into a hobble where I wouldn't even let them visit. It was just terrible, but I would still see them every other weekend. I um to make my daughter proud of me my first child. I love all my children, but the first one. I lived my whole life. I want to make my daughter proud of me my first child. I love all my children, but the first one I lived my whole life. I want to make my daughter proud of her dad. My children are proud of me. That matters. So my life has to make meaning.
Brian K. McNeill :The wife at the time. She did not like the entrepreneurial Brian. She wanted me to be satisfied with a real job. She would say it ain't a damn real job, you know that kind of stuff, and it was just terrible for both of us. So that marriage ended and I didn't want to end my marriage. I wanted to stay married, but she didn't want it no more. And even though I tried to save it several times, that was the end of that.
Brian K. McNeill :But it took me into a depression because I didn't think anybody does anything on purpose to make their lives worse. Exactly, we have a beautiful home. We got beautiful children here. I thought things were going fine. You know we're doing okay between the two of us. But she's like I don't want this no more. I don't want this no more. I'm like how does she think our life gets better without me? There was no infidelity. There was none of that. I was not abusive. Better without me? There was no infidelity, there was none of that. I was not abusive, I was good. I couldn't understand how she thought her life was better, but she did Okay. And so when that marriage ended, I went into a funk. I moved away from the city I was in. I moved out three hour away city.
Brian K. McNeill :So my uncle had a house there that I could stay with him. I stayed with him for six months and I mean, it was just. I was in my head, I went into a depression and I became what's called chemically depressed. I didn't know I was depressed until, oh man, the way I discovered I was depressed. I had a pretty girlfriend.
Brian K. McNeill :I met a beautiful lady we working out together, and I would do this to her often Out of nowhere. I would just be angry, just yelling and screaming at her and immediately I would apologize I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that, there was no reason for that. And then I'd be crying. I would yell at her, apologize and start crying. I couldn't know what was wrong with me. And one day we went and worked out together and she was so happy, that was nice. That was a rant. We worked out together at we and she was so happy, that was nice. That was a rant. We worked out together at the gym.
Brian K. McNeill :Get to the car and get asked to close the door. I closed. I started yelling again. I said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. She goes brian, nothing's wrong with you, you're just depressed. Oh, and that was the first time I thought it depressed. So I looked it up, I did an online questionnaire and you sure, in signs of someone be depressed, go check that. I got checked out and they asked me do you ever think about taking my own life? And I told him I thought about it all the time. I thought all the time. It says do you know?
Brian K. McNeill :how you would do it. I said I would drive my car into a building, off a bridge or something like that. That's how I would do. I had a clue because I didn't want to live anymore and they put me on a drug. They put me on Zoloft and it did the trick for me because you've got chemicals in your inner ear and when you get stressed and taxed the chemicals spill into other cups and it throws your body off chemically. It throws the way you think off chemically. So those drugs was able to get me back chemically and I was on for three or four months and I got stabilized and it kind of helped me a lot and I started making my life make more sense again.
Alethea Felton:That's right, and thank you for breaking it down like that, because one thing I always say, even when it comes to mental health, is the brain is an organ just like the heart, the lungs, the skin. If your chest is hurting and you know it's just not heartburn, you're going to go to the ER or call 911. If your skin breaks out in a horrible rash, you're going to go to a doctor. If you can't breathe and you feel that your lungs are heavy, you're going to get checked out. But when it comes to the brain and how we function, this is good, say it.
Alethea Felton:Right. Mentally, people brush it off, or even in the world of Christendom, we often, as a Christian culture, will pray things away or b bind or rebuke things, not saying there's anything wrong with that. However, it takes prayer, and sometimes a pill, to get you to where you have to go. So I commend you especially too, as a Black man, for taking care of your mental health and for having that person at the time speak life into you by telling you, calling it out as to what it is, and so the life transforms and it turns around to this amazing sales coach. And something I'm curious about, though, Brian, is what do you think, in really reflecting about this journey of launching, doing well failing. Launching doing well failing? What is it on that fourth time that you did that was different than the other failures that you had. I'm really really curious about that.
Brian K. McNeill :Two things One is the resolve, but the practical thing was I understood why I had failed three times before I stopped doing the things that made me the money and started delivering. In the beginning, you're just prospecting. You're looking for people to sell to. You're looking for people to help. Then, once I got them, I stopped looking. What I learned was you got to keep on. Even when you have all the clients you want. You got to still continue to market. You got to still. It's easier now than it was then because you can still post content, you can post videos, you can share your stuff. You got to keep it going. And the moment you turn that off or stop doing that is when the moment when the leads stop coming in, just like your books. My books sell only when I sell them. But if I ever stop selling the books, they won't sell. They're not going to sell themselves. Okay, all this misnomer about sell without selling or you don't have to sell, blah, blah, blah. Okay, yes, you do. Okay. So just the maturity and to know that I don't care what happens. I'm not going to quit my game. Ok, even me.
Brian K. McNeill :I am wonderfully successful. I'm wildly successful. I make a lot more money than folks in my contemporaries. But even me, I still understand that it doesn't stay sunshiny all the time. I still have ups and downs. It's just not as far down as it was. I'm not in danger of anything, but I still have ups and downs and I still have painful moments. But it's worth it. The entrepreneurial life is fraught with ups and downs. It's fraught with pitfalls, it's fraught with frustrations. That's the entrepreneurial life, but overall it is worth it.
Alethea Felton:It is just better overall. Yes, indeed, it certainly is, and that is the truth of the matter, and thank you for that, because I think sometimes people don't think about the fact that they have to keep going and you have to keep selling. So why in the world, in American society specifically and I have global listeners but what is the stigma that people have when you say sales? Where does that come from?
Brian K. McNeill :Well, it's earned, okay, but it's not true anymore. At one time in this country, salespeople had the advantage over the consumer from the very beginning, because the salesperson knew what the product really was and they knew what the product really could do. So the people had to hope they got an honest salesperson, people selling lotions and potions and snake oil and all that. They used to call salespeople drummers at one time, because they would go into towns, bang their drum and tell people we got this greatest new thing. Okay, that's how sales were made. Well, we got these trinkets or these forks or whatever drummers, okay. And then, um, but over time and this was long, I mean all the way through, from like the 1800s, all the way up until about, I'm going to say until about the nineties salespeople, they still had to hope. Things changed a little bit around the 80s, okay, because we started getting more information. But in the mid 90s not that long ago in the mid 90s there was this thing came out called google and um the internet, and you can able to search. You can find out what the car dealership really paid for, what the car was. So you have to guess if you got a good deal or not. You could fact check the person right in front of them. You could find out what their reputation was. So that fast-talking, unscrupulous salesperson. He started to die down because he couldn't get away with that crap anymore. Okay, so let's say this may be the middle of the nineties, 95. Okay, so from 1995 until 2000 to 2005, 2010, 2015,. That dinosaur of a salesperson is gone, because by the time 2015 comes, no one can get away with anything, and the dumbest client you're ever going to have can still tell if you're being honest or not.
Brian K. McNeill :So when I have a workshop, I say to the women in the room I says any of you ladies here, consider yourselves single. There might be a hundred people in a room, there might be 50 people in there. Yes, they've thought they had their single. Okay, great, ladies, because I got this guy I want to introduce you to and he's a salesman type. Okay, that's all I say.
Brian K. McNeill :And I say now what kind of image comes to your mind? And overwhelmingly, it's a negative image. He's going to be a fast talker, he's going to be pushy, hide your wallet, that kind of stuff. Does it seem more positive or negative? It's more negative, okay, great. Now, with that in your mind, I want you to think about.
Brian K. McNeill :When was the last time you even met a fast talking, pushy salesman, exactly, or saw one? When was the last time anyone ever tried that with you? When was the last someone tried to bully you or trick you to buying something that you didn't really want? When was the last time that ever worked on you? And almost no one can remember the last time they saw that person because he's gone yeah, gone. Can remember the last time they saw that person because he's gone yeah, he's gone.
Brian K. McNeill :You can't. The salesperson has to be the most honest person because you can get checked out right away. Anything the salesperson say, the entrepreneur say, can be verified. We all read reviews. I read reviews on movies before I watch them Okay, cause I don't want to waste two hours. Even if I read reviews on cigars, I'm going to buy Cause I don't want to spend $20 or $10 or something I don't really like. We read reviews. That's why testimonials still matter. Some people don't think they matter as much, but I do. When someone reaches out to me on LinkedIn, I look and see how many people were willing to write a recommendation, or do they have any video testimonials or what they've actually done, I do, and I think it's vain for you to think people are not going to check you out. They're going to Google you, they're going to go to your site, they're going to do all this kind of stuff. If you Google Brian K McNeil, you'll find out a lot of good things.
Brian K. McNeill :You'll find out a lot about me.
Alethea Felton:That's right, and testimonials do matter as well as reference checking, and I've even learned, especially when hiring, say, a business coach or vendor for an event say, if I need a florist for a wedding, right? I've also learned is the florist, for example, that you go to, even if they have online reviews, if you ask them, hey, is there a way that I could contact or connect with three customers you've had over the years so I can talk to them directly? When a person is opening and says, sure, I'll give them your info, that's also good to know that person isn't trying to scam you or scheme you like that too. So thank you, though, for bringing that up.
Brian K. McNeill :I will tell you. I dare anybody ask me for a testimonial referral. I dare you. I don't say those words, but if they ever do, I'll send them 10 pages of them. Ok, I have it already set up, all that contact information, dates and everything. I'll send them 10 pages of them. But it don't come up that often but but if someone ever asked me for it, I will send them 10 pages of them, with like nine or 10 per page.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, because it's true. I just think that you know people need to understand that in this day and age. I agree with you I never really thought about how that shifted and it did and here I am an entrepreneur like you, it's true is that that sleazy salesman stereotype is not really existing anymore. Of course there's going to be a few that kind of go through the cracks, but for the most part they'll be dead soon.
Alethea Felton:No, it's not. Yeah, ok, for the most part it's not Now. We're coming to a close soon, but your stages and your workshops and everything else and the presentations that you do you do hands-on training, you make them fun, interactive, ryan can you think of? I'm sure that you can, but what I would like to ask you is think to a client or someone that you work with, either a person or a group. Talk to us directly about how your sales confidence, coaching and training and workshops transform them and their business.
Brian K. McNeill :There's a lot, but I can think of some of my favorites.
Alethea Felton:OK.
Brian K. McNeill :OK, one was this black woman. She was probably in her mid 30s but she owned two all state insurance agencies in two different cities. She's doing good. She's got two agencies and salespeople in both agencies On the world. She looked good Behind closed doors.
Brian K. McNeill :She was super stressed out because, even though she had 10 agents in this one agency and 7 agents in another agency, none of them was really producing. They should have been doing better work and they didn't understand. She needed them to sell to keep her business going. She was super stressed out by the time she got to me. Okay, she was nice, but she needed some stuff. So here's what she did. First, she hired me to coach her on how to sell. Okay, even though she had to open up these agencies, she needed to modernize her approach. So she took that training. She thought it was amazing and she started to sell better herself. Then she hired me again to train all her salespeople. Okay, she paid me to hire, train her. Then she paid me again to hire to train all her salespeople and, in her business, flourished.
Brian K. McNeill :Now, one of the reasons why she's one of my favorites, because I know she was really, really trying to focus and get what I was teaching her and she did stuff with what I taught her. Her salesman was really trying to get it. She told me, brian, it was a whole year later where some of the stuff you told me really clicked in. She goes I thought I grasped it, but she said I had a moment a year afterwards. Oh, that's what he meant. And that was the first time I thought, wow, some people are not going to get the full picture right away, even though I try so, but still, that was one of my favorite ones.
Alethea Felton:Wow, yes, and on this journey, think about from when you first found that confidence from reading those books, in comparison to who you are now. Describe where you are with your confidence at this present moment.
Brian K. McNeill :Sure, I'm the best at this, okay. I really believe that you can search the nation looking for a sales trainer or a sales speaker or a sales coach, and I think I'm as good as, or better than anyone as far as the talk goes. I go speak on platforms, which I often do with other speakers. They might speak on different things and it's kind of collegial. We know each other, we see each other on circuit and we all think we're the best speaker. They think they're really good too, but I know I'm the best. So we deliver like we'll say stuff that was pretty good, now watch this, okay. And then we go out and rock. Okay, now my talks rock. I know what I'm going to say.
Brian K. McNeill :My wife said something that some, some, some of another Brian's opening of his talks are always the same. She goes. I'm very proud of that because it's the same. I know I'm going to make them laugh here, here and here. I know I'm going to give them the wrong answer to this. I know they're going to cheer for this. I know they're going to. It takes me about six to 10 minutes to corral my room, but I know by the time I corral my room they are in my palm of my hands, and I take them on journeys. So and this is borne out over time, practice. I didn't start off this way, but after you do, a few hundred of them you get to the place where you believe.
Brian K. McNeill :And then you read your reviews too, and that's the other thing too fostering your confidence. Confidence is fleeting, it doesn't stay, so it has to be reinforced. If you have someone in your life that could be a personal cheerleader, bless you, you're lucky. But reading your press clippings, reading your testimonials, will remind you when you have a few things that don't go well. You need those reminders Keeping a brag, a log, a list of your accomplishments because you need to be reinforced, just like the shower needs to be done again and again and again. You don't stay clean after one shower. You have to be reinforced. Positivity has to be reinforced. Your positive mental attitude has to be reinforced again and again and again. It doesn't end. I have to keep studying to stay sharp. I got to keep learning, I got to keep teaching, I got to keep presenting, and it's the life I signed up for. But even the name Sales Confidence Coach, that didn't come from my head.
Brian K. McNeill :My coach asked me to ask a bunch of my former clients, a bunch of them, what did you get from the experience of working with Brian, whether it's a keynote or workshop or coaching? What did you get? And in the gigs out of the words. By far what they got the most was confidence. Brian made me believe that I can do this. Brian fostered in us a belief that we can sell. Brian made me believe that I can do this. Brian fostered in us a belief that we can sell. Brian made me believe someone who always thought they couldn't sell can actually make money at this. Brian helped me rescue my company. The confidence that I rebranded myself two and a half years ago because before that my company had switched to it was called Very Personal Sales Coaching. It went from Rhino Sales and Seminars to Very Personal Sales Coaching for a while, and for the last two and a half three years it's been Sales Confidence Coaching. That's the name of the company, and I consider myself the world's recognized authority on selling services.
Alethea Felton:That's right, indeed, indeed, you are and talking about those services. If a person wanted to connect with you because they need help in this area, or they are just curious about you and want to read your books, how can they do all of that? Share it with us and, of course, I'll put it in show notes. Sure.
Brian K. McNeill :The simplest way is to go to my website BrianKMcNeilSalescom. And that's two L's and there is a k in there too. Brian, b-r-i-n the letter k, mcneil, salescom. I just put in the chat just now a lot of my contact information.
Alethea Felton:I put in my phone number, my website, my um, my space online.
Brian K. McNeill :I have a space called sales confidence camp. Okay, that's where I do a lot of my lives, my webinars, my one-on-one coachings. In my my space online, I have a space called Sales Confidence Camp. Okay, that's where I do a lot of my lives, my webinars, my one-on-one coachings in my campus and my LinkedIn is there as well, and the schedule with me, my Calendly, is there as well.
Alethea Felton:Yes, and I will put all of that in the show notes, ryan, as we wrap up, I wanted to say this oh, for a reason, and I like to kind of pull it out oh, my goodness, you mentioned see you. You mentioned how your first marriage failed, things of that nature. You contemplated giving up your life. It had a lot of effects on you and how you felt, even as a man, of not being able to keep going. But if a person were to see you and you even mentioned it briefly you mentioned the word wife, which means, in this present day, you have a wife.
Alethea Felton:An amazing wife a wife, an amazing wife Share with us at your comfort how your wife has helped to transform your life and to make you even more resilient and confident. Speak on that about her.
Brian K. McNeill :I will. After my last marriage, I was single for 10 years. I was dating a lot. I was dating amazing women, but they weren't my wife, ok. So I founded a men's group in 2013 called Male Empowerment Networks, and we would meet twice a month and we meet in person and in that meeting, the brothers were introduced to the women. Because I didn't have any. I was living alone. I wanted somebody because I'd rather be married than not myself. But I was just dating and they were great. These were my wife.
Brian K. McNeill :So my prayer life changed. I took all the hooks off. I said god, please bless me with the right woman for me. And the way the men and I would do it we would link arms, we stand in a, we would link arms, we stand in a circle, whatever the man want. We stand in a circle, we link arms like this, and we would rock. Okay, and Brian said I want God to send me the right woman for me and we would all pray for me and then we go to the next guy. So for two years I prayed that God said the right woman for me and I was giving a workshop in Charlotte, north Carolina.
Brian K. McNeill :I was living in Greensboro, north Carolina, which is an hour and a half away and I was giving a workshop in Charlotte how to sell your services like a superstar. And the first person that showed up is the woman I married because she showed up, beautiful. First off, I saw she had a tall blonde Mohawk and beautiful legs and heels, and I heard it before I saw her. She walked in on the linoleum and the room was carpeted and I heard her. I had talked to her beforehand because she was helping promote, but I hadn't met her in person. But the first day I met her it's going to sound corny Alethea I knew who she was. I'd seen her picture before, but I'd never met her in person. So the first day I met her she's first person show I reached out, my hand. I learned how to ballroom dance Okay, detroit, ballroom dancing. I took her hand, I swung her out, I spun the lady out, I brought her back home, kissed her on her cheek and spun her back out again and she was like Whoa, now she hadn't had ballroom training but she fell right into the dance step.
Brian K. McNeill :Now, immediately after I did that, I was having to prepare for my workshop. She looked at what's going on. This man's from out of town he's trying to do a workshop today. I was given two the same day. I was by myself, so she immediately started helping me and basically she took over the workshop. She became the director of the workshop. I had hired a woman to check people in, but that woman hadn't showed up yet. So my wife, lisa. She took charge, which freed me up. I mean, I had to make coffee, had to get the tables right, had to set up the front desk she took charge right away. So it was a three-hour workshop.
Brian K. McNeill :So after that workshop I took her to lunch. We went to Punta Cana and she ordered in Spanish because she's Puerto Rican in New York, which I thought was sexy. She came back for my evening workshop. I did. She saw me speak about selling for six hours the first day, okay. And then after that I took her to dinner, but that first day I met her in person. She probably became my wife that day, okay. Now we've been married eight years now and it's been amazing. One of my strengths is I have an amazing mate. We co-host the podcast together. She has a business, I have a business and we work together. It's just been such a dynamic, fun ride.
Alethea Felton:Indeed and that's right. Yes, she is and that was right on time. Yes, she is and that was right on time. And I see your podcast, that you Facebook and just the laughs that you have together in the joy, and I'm telling y'all people out there. You know I'm not married yet, but I have an amazing man who he's an entrepreneur also in how we support each other, and he has made his intentions clear. Let me say this I was 47 when I met her you were what now 47, when?
Brian K. McNeill :I hear that I wanted somebody to know that it's not too late, okay love can come at any age's right and it's what the right person.
Alethea Felton:Thank you for saying that, because that is so key, and I thank you for just being you, brian. Thank you for being authentic in who you are.
Brian K. McNeill :You're a pretty good host, oh thank you, you're very good.
Alethea Felton:It's just a conversation. I always have questions about things.
Brian K. McNeill :I do a couple of podcasts a week and I haven't been asked these questions in a long time.
Alethea Felton:Because, at the end of the day, you know, yes, I'm grateful for success and the things people do, but at the end of the day, when all of those other layers are stripped apart, it who we are as people, and the core of who we are, and the hearts that we have. That is what will last and that's what makes a difference. And so you truly, brian, are the epitome of a power transformation, and I am so grateful and honored to have met you, but also thank you for gracing this platform with your presence, and I pray and hope nothing but the continued best for you, your wife, your children and your grandchildren, and may your wealth and your legacy carry on for generations to come. So thank you again, brian, for being here.
Brian K. McNeill :You are the best. My sister Bless you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Alethea Felton:Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the power transformation podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow or subscribe, leave a five star rating and write a review. It helps us inspire even more listeners. And don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who could use a little power in their transformation. Until next time, keep bouncing back, keep rising and be good to yourself and to others.
