The Power Transformation Podcast
The Power Transformation Podcast hosted by Alethea Felton, celebrates the resilience, determination, and hope of entrepreneurs, thought leaders, and visionaries who have conquered adversity and various challenges to create meaningful lives.
With her own inspiring journey of living with autoimmune disease since birth (and now thriving), overcoming severe stuttering, and more, Alethea's authenticity adds depth to intimate conversations with her guests who have overcome extraordinary obstacles.
Alethea's heart-centered, introspective, and engaging style elevates this podcast into a movement that inspires listeners to embrace their inner strength, cultivate empowerment, and rise wiser, stronger, and more courageous to achieve their next level of success.
The Power Transformation Podcast
98. Overcoming Life's Challenges Through Comedy & Laughter with Michael Gershe
At only 8 weeks old, a boy named Michael experienced an earth-shattering family tragedy that would set the trajectory and path for his entire life...and that event would eventually save and give inspiration to the masses.
In this episode, discover the transformative power of hope, laughter, and resilience in this uplifting conversation with inspirational speaker, comedian, author, photographer and founder of The Magic of Life Foundation, Michael Gershe.
From overcoming adversity to finding purpose through comedy and mental health advocacy, Michael's journey is a testament to the human spirit's ability to thrive amidst life's most painful challenges. Tune in for an unforgettable exploration of personal growth, humor, and the importance of embracing life's magic.
Connect with Michael:
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Episode 98's Affirmation:
I find joy, hope, and moments of laughter despite the challenges that have come my way.
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Michael Gershe is definitely an incredible and extraordinary human being, and I am so honored that he is today's guest on the Power Transformation Podcast. Ever since he was eight weeks old, michael has experienced what it means to be a true survivor and as he grew older, despite that painstaking life-changing situation that happened to him when he was just an infant, he still chose to go on to become a collegiate swimmer, comedian, speaker, author, college educator, photographer and so much more. Michael has had over 25 years experience on stage and he has presented to schools, colleges, military bases, and also a TEDx talk is under his belt. You see, michael uses humor and audience participation for his story in order to give not only a truly educational but inspirational message. I don't want to give too much away in this intro, but I guarantee you listen to this interview with Michael Gersh and your entire life, well-being, mindset everything will be totally transformed. He has a true testament that, no matter the obstacles that come your way, even from your early age, you too can make such a powerful, influential difference in the lives of so many.
Alethea Felton:Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, Alethea Felton, and it is truly an honor to have you all with me today. Thank you so much, especially for those of you who may be new to the podcast and those of you who have been with me since the beginning. Can you believe it, y'all? We are almost at 100 episodes. This is episode 98, and the guest that we have today is absolutely incredible, as you could hear from that introduction.
Alethea Felton:So I don't want to prolong the time, but let's go ahead and jump right on into this, where I always begin this podcast with a positive affirmation we speak things into existence, we speak them as if they already exist, and you know what, when you do this consistently, it truly does change your life for the better. So I'm going to say this affirmation once, and you repeat it. I find joy, hope and moments of laughter, despite the challenges that have come my way. I am so excited to have Michael Gershe here on the Power Transformation Podcast, and, y'all, I have to admit, we've already had some laughs, because that's just who he is, and so I know that we're going to have a great time here. He's going to be himself, I'm going to be myself, but welcome, Michael, to the Power Transformation Podcast.
Michael Gershe:Thank you for having me. You know what the laughs are all over. Now it's no, now it's nothing. Now.
Alethea Felton:I don't need that type of pressure. Exactly, but that's okay. So look what I like to do with all of my guests. I always like to start with just a random icebreaker question so that we can get to know you better and to learn just a bit more about you from a fun aspect of things. So, michael, this is your icebreaker question for you, and I'm hoping you'll be able to answer one or the other. If not, oh well, we're going to have to improv here. But Marvel or DC.
Michael Gershe:Oh, that's easy, that's Marvel. Oh okay, I'm a Spider-Man nerd through and through since I was a little kid to adulthood. My office has Spider-Man action figures in my office. I got one upstairs. So, yeah, I got a Spider-Man on the back of my phone. So, yep, marvel all the way. What about yourself?
Alethea Felton:Wow, so I like now hold on. You said Spider-Man, yep, I thought he was DC Comics.
Michael Gershe:Oh no.
Alethea Felton:Nope, isn't Spider-Man DC? Nope, he's not, wait a minute, he's's. Oh, I'm thinking about black. Okay, there's a dc character called black spider. That's what I'm thinking of. Spider-man's marvel, okay, yeah, because I was about to say okay, yeah, so I like um, spider-man also, but I got confused for a second. But but, yes, tell me this though what is it about spider man that resonates the most with you?
Michael Gershe:oh, my goodness, how much time you have. It's very interesting brought this up because I bring. I talk about spider man in my the magic of life program when I talk about role models and tinkers first and then spiderMan's next, because as a kid I gravitated towards Peter Parker shy, quiet, bullied as Peter Parker. He also had death early on in his family and I had death early on in my family, so I did that. And when it became Spider-Man and he put on that mask, he used humor as a defense mechanism.
Alethea Felton:You're right, you're right. Okay, I like that.
Michael Gershe:And I love that part because I did the same thing through trauma and grief. I used humor as my coping mechanism as well. So I love both those. But also, as the Peter Parker character got older through life, he had trouble with relationships, paying the rent, jobs. Those were everyday issues that I could identify with. I couldn't identify with Bruce Wayne.
Michael Gershe:You know, you know, in a mansion and stuff, because we weren't rich or anything like that. But Peter Parker and Spider-Man you know, as every kid going through those same growing pains I went. I could identify with that character.
Alethea Felton:So it would be ironic that I have a comedian here on my show today because, okay, at the time that we're doing this it's evening time East Coast time it's still early evening, right, but I have to admit I've had a long day, but I've been excited about your interview. So when you said Spider-Man, you know what it registered as initially and I think this is where I got confused it registered Superman in my brain. So I gaffed on that one. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not going to edit this far out because I like to be authentic.
Alethea Felton:So as soon as you said Spider-Man and you said Marvel, I'm like isn't that? Then I know DC because I love comic books. I was a comic book kid and all of that kind of stuff, right. So I know DC had some kind of character called like Black Spider or something very, very minor, something like that. So when you said Spider-Man, it clicked. I saw Kryptonite, superman, and then, after I had you to explain more, and you said Peter Parker, I'm like, lord, I just embarrassed myself. If there's anybody listening or watching this for the first time, please know that I have myself together, but I just messed up there the comments go to her, okay, not to me.
Michael Gershe:They all go to her about that.
Alethea Felton:They go to me about it. Oh Lord Cause, I love Marvel also. So as soon as you said that, I'm like what? But as soon as he said Peter Parker, I said oh my gosh. I said, do I play it off or am I just going to be honest? And I'm honest about it, is that my brain saw Superman? But okay, so there we are. What a way to start the show.
Alethea Felton:but hey you know, yeah, a total icebreaker. But anyway, moving along with that, you all too many people online and everything else now try to act. Oh so perfect. I would be the first one to say that, yeah, I might have all these titles behind me and X, y and Z, but I'm a human being just like you all, and Michael's story definitely is one that you all are going to get something great out of. And I do understand that connection with Spider-Man. But before we even go more into that, tell us upfront, just in case a person has to come back to this interview later. But if a person wants to connect with you outside of our show, how can they go about doing that, michael?
Michael Gershe:First of all, no one's leaving. They're not coming back to this, they're going to watch all the way through.
Alethea Felton:There's no getting up for this, you know it's not like, lord of the rings, a four-hour program. No, it's no. It's six hours, michael.
Michael Gershe:It's six hours, not four, they uh have a brand new website. It's called it's just michaelgirschcom, and that's easy. And then they can see all my links to facebook, which is also michael gers. Linkedin, there's a Magical Life Foundation page. There's Michael Gersh Photography, and I also have Instagram, which is Gersh G-E-R-S-H-E-P-I-X for my photography and also speaking and comedy stuff on there. But the easiest way michaelgershcom.
Alethea Felton:Thank you so much and I will also have those in the description and show notes. But say, if a person just were randomly to ask somebody in a room maybe they didn't know what you look like or anything, but came up to you and said hey, I've heard about this guy named Michael Gersh. Who is Michael Gersh? What would you say to them?
Michael Gershe:No, we'll be six hours long as we dive into it. You know I used to think I was a victim and survivor of a drunk driving crash.
Michael Gershe:I always thought for 40 something years, that's who I was. And let's go back to how I started, because that part that identifies who I am, that kind of like a superhero. You have to have that one incident that makes you want to be that superhero, right? I mean, everyone has that. When I was eight weeks old, my father was driving us home from Long Island and my brother, who was three, was sleeping in the backseat. My mom was next to my dad and I was next to my mom and I was just shy of eight weeks and we were less than a mile away from our house when our light turned green. My dad started to go through the intersection when a drunk driver plowed the intersection and T-boned the car. The force of the impact was so great it totaled the cars but also split our car all the way to the dashboard by hitting a telephone pole. Um, my brother didn't have a scratch on him, my dad had to get stitches on his face from the windshield, my mom was taking in a surgery and, as for me, nearly every bone my body was broken. My skull was completely fractured, from one side of my head to the other. So the fact I am a week away from being 54 and talking to you is nothing short of a miracle.
Michael Gershe:And so that starts off that question in terms of who I am, because I'm also a son who never knew his mom, because my mom unfortunately died due to her injuries. So that is a huge identifier, because I never had a chance to know my mom or, you know, my brother was only three. He really didn't know her either. So that's a part of who I am. Because that turned into purpose. You know that trauma, that grief where, even growing up as a kid, I knew something was missing in my life and I was also raised by a Jamaican woman named Dolly. Long story short, she answered and my grandmother grandmother put in the newspaper for part-time help. She answered it. What was supposed to be a part-time job turned into a lifetime role. So Dolly, along with my dad, raised us, my brother and I. And I say I'm Jewish, jamaican because I'm a white Jewish family and a black Jamaican family, but really it's just family. And she's 93 years old she will kill me if she knows I mentioned her age, but again, that's part of who I am. Those situations may be the person today.
Michael Gershe:If it wasn't for her, I don't know how I would have turned out, because, along with her and my dad, they instilled values, morals, but also my mom too, because everything I've done has been an honor or a tribute to my mom, where I created this program called the Magic of Life, where I present at high schools, colleges, at the military bases, courts, to make sure other families don't go through what my family went through. So advocate, son with purpose, superhero, I guess, because I've done this program for 30 years, hopefully saving some lives along the way. Tomorrow I'm doing a program for the DOI offenders here at a local court near me and I've been doing that for 11 years and changing their lives, to inspire them to never drive impaired again is. It's a challenge sometimes, but it's also the most rewarding part of my job as a speaker and it's an audience I never thought I would ever speak in front of, but it's been incredible. When they come up afterwards and they shake your hand or they buy a book or they donate to the foundation.
Michael Gershe:And you know this, you know in your role, if you could change someone's life, I mean that's an awesome thing to do. Yeah, so I, like the, I'm a son, you know, not only to my dad, who passed away a few years ago, but to my mom and Dolly, I'm a brother, I'm a friend, and Dolly, I'm a brother, I'm a friend. I'm just someone on this planet who wants to create change and make it better before my time is up. I know how blessed I am to be here on a daily basis. Even there was a time where I didn't really want to be here due to depression and grief and trauma, and you mentioned earlier about connections. It was those connections in my life that kept me here.
Michael Gershe:My last TED Talk was called Survive by Our Connections because I thought about my mom and Dolly and my best friends and people that have an impact on us, and I didn't want them to go through loss and tragedy where they kind of go. Why didn't he reach out? You know, through depression, you know there's there is hope for people. You know don't feel like you're a burden to anyone. You know get help. But you know I think with someone with a sense of humor, if I can make someone laugh and make a difference in their lives, then at the end of the day that's a pretty special thing to do, and so that might wrap up in general of who I am.
Alethea Felton:Yeah.
Michael Gershe:I'm still holding on hope I could be Spider-Man.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, you know what you never know. Miracles can and do happen and perhaps, miraculously, you will somehow wake up one day and be Spider-Man. Who knows what happened? Maybe you'll be in a lab one day and a random spider breaks free, and who knows? The rest is history.
Michael Gershe:Right. I mean I'm a miracle being alive. So you're right, it could happen.
Alethea Felton:It could happen. You know anything nowadays, in 2024, you just turn on the TV or turn on your laptop or the apps. Anything can happen. I don't put anything past anything, but I think that everything that you said with so much trauma that you had literally at such a young infancy, at eight weeks old, to lose your mother in that way this is a question I never asked, even when we had our pre-talk Were they ever able to find the person who caused the accident?
Michael Gershe:Yes, so he was also hit. I mean he hit a car. So you know, when things happen, first responders arrive. They took him to the hospital and he lied to the police at the scene. He said he wasn't the one driving. He said his friend who was in the back seat was the one driving. So when he got to the hospital, another officer noticed his eyes were bloodshot, he was combative, he reeked of alcohol and he was driving on a suspended license, which is why he lied to the police. And when his blood alcohol was taken three hours afterwards he was a 0.10. So imagine what he was at the time of the car crash.
Michael Gershe:He admitted drinking at least a six pack and he couldn't pay his bail. So when the court case happened in 1971, he was sentenced to three years with time served already. So that's 1971. In 1971, he was sentenced to three years, with time served already Since 1971, one of my fellow speakers, christine Monchak, who will speak with me at the court, talks about her son who was killed by a drunk driver about 10 years ago, and the guy that killed her son was sentenced to five years. So you take 1971 to 2014,. Three and a half, three years, five. The law isn't always on our side, right.
Michael Gershe:And so that doesn't change. But yeah, they found him and unfortunately he was sentenced to just that. But we have a lifetime sentence and we have to figure out are we going to live or are we going to, you know, stay in this turmoil of grief and anger and depression? And you know, I don't think my mom would want me to live that way. It's very easy to crawl into a bottle and play the victim card, but I go back to how I was raised by my dad and Dolly and my role models like Spiderman and Tigger and James Bond and the rock band Kiss those all have an influence on my life and how to overcome.
Michael Gershe:Is it easy? No, are we going to have our sad days and bad days where we don't want to get out of bed? Yeah, we do. That's life, but at the same time, we have to try to put one foot forward and figure out a way to live. One foot forward and figure out a way to live.
Alethea Felton:Indeed. And when you spoke of your dad and Dolly teaching you those values and morals, tell us about a pivotal lesson about life, or just character building that Dolly specifically taught you. What is something she instilled in you that has lasted with you to this day?
Michael Gershe:How to cook.
Alethea Felton:You were making that jerk chicken?
Michael Gershe:huh yeah and how to do laundry properly.
Alethea Felton:And that curry goat.
Michael Gershe:She taught me how to stand up for myself and really believe in myself. You know, those were the things that, um, that inspired me, you know, in terms of. You know, learn how to be who you are and, um, you know, don't be afraid to show people that either. And she just gave me the courage to pursue my goals and dreams, along with my dad. They were very supportive, you know. Whether it was magic or going into comedy, they never once said no, and it's very important that you know we have that support, you know, for our dreams. I might have failed a million times, but at least they supported me, and I think you know that learned through swimming. You know being a swimmer too. You know what I learned in the pool. You know you'll play outside, but with her it was compassion, unconditional love, what the human spirit could do if you're willing to do it. Because there was a woman that raised two white Jewish boys, and it was about color, creative religion. It was about basic human need.
Alethea Felton:That's right.
Michael Gershe:And growing up in a diverse family where you have, you know who's this black woman with. You know, three white guys. It wasn't. You know, that was normal for us and that's how we project life. So no, it's not about for me. You know, you've seen how people say they don't see color. I really don't, because that's how I was raised. You know, being in a diverse family from, say, birth. I mean she came into our household around October, november of 1970. And she would stay in my room and I would play hide and go seek with her between you know, the bars of the crib and those type of things. But you know for me that she's my mom, because that's all I know.
Michael Gershe:Exactly. So, yeah, I would say compassion, unconditional love just through life, because she did that for us. So it's really modeling that same behavior for other people, right? And how to go after your dreams and just do the things that make you happy.
Alethea Felton:And just the fact she stayed with you throughout your entire life, and that is, and so I'm just going to say something on a personal note. I asked what was one of the lessons Dolly taught you? Now I'm a Southerner by birth and I'm a Black Hispanic woman, and so, after I said it and you were answering, I said, just in case of the event she or someone in your family's listening, let me backtrack and say, miss Dolly, because that's just how, I'm afraid, I said oh, I thought of Dolly.
Alethea Felton:Miss Dolly, right, that's just my upbringing and that's just a cultural thing about how I'm sitting here like she's 93 years young, and I said, oh my gosh, it was called her by her first name, miss Dolly.
Michael Gershe:You're 100% correct on that.
Alethea Felton:So I'm like, oh, I just felt like, oh, no, I got to correct that. So please forgive me, miss Dolly did instill those values in you, but I like that lesson about standing up for yourself and going after your dreams. And so, as I said in the intro part that you didn't hear, but just in our conversation now, you're a professional comedian and, amongst other things, but when we think about humor, inspiration and transformation especially Michael, with everything, the gamut of things that you've experienced in your life, some that we haven't even touched on yet. But let's shift here and talk about humor how exactly has humor played a role in your lifelong healing process from any adversity that you've experienced, and how does humor help your efforts in helping others? It's called denial.
Michael Gershe:Well, it was ever, since I was never going to get a straight answer at me first. Of course not, um, but I think as a kid I got involved with magic and humor was a big part of that. Harry Anderson, for instance, was a huge influence, where this wasn't about the trick, but it was about making people laugh. Even as a youngster I was good at making people laugh and for me that was like that drug hearing that reaction. And as I got older and got into comedy the first time I did I was 18, 17, 18, back home in Miami and I was horrible. I didn't get any laughs or nothing like that. But it's like this is what I want to do. And some people think you know you can make your friends laugh, let me go on stage. It's totally different. You know, laugh, let me go on stage. It's totally different. You know, um, but there's in magic. I love magic, but it was also something where you could walk into the magic store, buy a trick, practice it at home and do that comedy.
Michael Gershe:You can't teach someone how to be funny. You could teach them how to maybe write a joke structure or, you know, put a set together, but funny you can't teach. Funny, you know, put a set together, but funny you can't teach. Funny, you know, I think it's, it's inside our soul, it's that gift that you know we have that humor and being blessed with that and the high you get from it, whereas if I write a joke and do it on stage, someone laughs. That to me is those endorphins. Right, it's just you, you know, getting that feedback and knowing that you're helping someone else to get their troubles. My fellow comedians know this, where if you're lined up after a show and someone comes up to you and says thank you for making me laugh, I really needed that. You know that that's better than getting paid because you know you took them away from. That's better than getting paid because you know you took them away from their pain or whatever it was for that little bit.
Michael Gershe:We just did a show for Temple Israel, a fundraiser, and people would say thank you. You know it was great. You know thank you for making me laugh and that's what I love about it. You know it's not always about us on stage, it's for the audience in that healing process but also that connection we have audience in that healing process but also that connection we have. So I love it because it heals me from trauma and grief. You know, because you can make someone laugh and you kind of feel good about that and endorphins. It caught purpose.
Michael Gershe:You know, in a way, whether I'm sitting in my office and making a student laugh, you're reducing their tension, I'm reducing my tension and stress and you know it's one of those great stress relievers and being in the ability to do that, sometimes that they're wrong situation, but damn, it's funny when it, when it happens, like in a meeting or something, you apologize for it later but you might get some stares, but you might get some laughs and that's yeah, and it's just that connection with an audience and making them laugh.
Michael Gershe:I think for any comedian and you know a lot of them would say you know, they've gone through trauma and grief. That's why we're on stage right, because we um, there's been some tragedy we've gone through and we use that as a catalyst. Um, some not you know seinfeld said he's never gone through and we use that as a catalyst. Some not Seinfeld said he's never been through anything horrible, for that Robin Williams was a tortured soul A lot of comedians, and it's just one of those things where if I'm sad and depressed, I'll use humor as that coping mechanism. So not only for the audience, for other people, but also for myself, to reduce my stress, my tension, help with my depression Through that too, and writing funny things on Facebook on a daily basis, if I can do that.
Alethea Felton:Indeed, yes, I have read some of those. They make me laugh. Yeah, they really do.
Michael Gershe:I mean, you know, it's just bringing humor on a daily basis, because you never know what someone's going through, as you know. But you know, if I can make someone laugh through that, then I'm happy and it's a very powerful thing when you could do that for someone and and and the fact that I have the that ability to do is wonderful.
Alethea Felton:Did you find yourself at a young age having humor in you and if so, what type of a kid were you?
Michael Gershe:I was a little mischievous not in a bad way, yeah, but it was also good because don't get me wrong my belt came off of me and ended up hitting my butt a lot. So my brother and I would joke with Dolly and say you know, the discipline you gave us would be considered child abuse today.
Michael Gershe:And you know we never got in trouble in school because we knew the punishment back home would be a lot worse. Yeah, yes, but we were good natured kids, you know, it's just those little you knowievous always. You know interesting, yeah, things. I have my magic and and star wars and spider-man and I used that as an escape mechanism and probably not known as a kid, but looking back when I did research for the book and I go back to my childhood, I think think using humor Star Wars, spider-man, those type of things was an escape from not having my mom in that tragedy in a group because no one knew I was. You know, we were busy swimming, going to school and doing those things and it was interesting, he said cousins who said we had no idea you were going through that.
Michael Gershe:Well, I was a kid. No one's going to know, of course, ask those questions, but humor was just a good coping thing. I remember when I was doing magic shows for my family at family outings and they make them laugh. That was cool, you know I love. Again it goes back to, I love that feeling my great grandmother was very funny, you making people laugh and and I think, um, you know, for being jewish, you know, I think, the jewish faith. You know the, the tribe as we call it, um humor, holocaust, bad situations in in in our history where we used humor to help cope you know, exactly for other people, and I think it's just that my dad wasn't necessarily funny and my great grandmother was.
Michael Gershe:You know, she was a huge influence. She wanted me to be a doctor. So I changed my magic stage name from Magical Michael to Dr Magic. You know, this is the only way I'm going to be a doctor. It's not going to be medical school. So it wasn't that great of a student, because I was. I was also a daydreamer, so my mind was elsewhere, you know, not studying and doing things.
Michael Gershe:I was focused on trying to make people laugh or pretending to be a superhero. Yeah, house, in the classroom I wanted to be, and, um, you know so it was just you know. Humor was just always there for me and it was just a very cool feeling to see how it grew and I knew very young you know, junior high that I wanted to go into comedy.
Alethea Felton:Wow.
Michael Gershe:Yeah.
Alethea Felton:And that's a good transition, because I was just about to ask you something more along the lines of when did you and it might not have been in junior high school, but when did you realize, Michael, that your story was so powerful that it could inspire and motivate others through the use of humor?
Michael Gershe:High school. High school I got involved with SAD, which back then was Students Against Drunk Driving, so that put me on that path to learn how to share my story. Then I got into college and I was part of Campus Activities Board and I knew about other speakers. I went to grad school for higher education where I advised the alcohol awareness group. So those are the things that kind of put me on the path to be a speaker. And in grad school at the University of Akron excuse me I had a sorority girl, one of my students, that I advise in a group, because I put together a fun program for her sorority and I did one or two.
Michael Gershe:Prior to grad school I worked for a school called EF International School of English in Miami, florida, and I put together a program, you know, using magic, you know to symbolize certain things, because the international students see alcohol much different way than American students do. But also they were going to South Beach and other places and driving back to the apartments or campus impaired and I didn't want anything happening to those students. So I put together a fun little program where I could share my story for the very first time, you know, to those. And then, once grad school hit, I put together you know another fun program and that ball kind of rolled into. You know doing what I'm doing now. But I would go back to high school was really where it kind of started and being part of that student group.
Alethea Felton:So, with that being said, take us now on a journey, just a slight shift, because I know that you also do a lot in terms of mental health advocacy and it's so interesting because it's this dynamic with the humor, and I know some professional comedians also where it's this humorous aspect, but most comedians that I've read their autobiographies or even heard them within interviews. They may be innately humorous or funny people, but yet a lot of them also go through some dark spaces and dark times as well, which helps them to appreciate the humorous aspects of things more and how they reach and connect with their audience. So share with us a little bit about how your mental health advocacy came about and what is it that draws you even to having such compassion for people in that area.
Michael Gershe:Okay, that part started in 2018. My father died in January of 2018. My aunt, his sister, passed away almost 90 days later. Wow, brother and sister right, they're 10 years apart in life and then they died. My dad had Parkinson's, my aunt had ovarian cancer. Both battled those diseases for about eight, nine years, and I emulated what my dad did when it came to grief and trauma. You bottle up inside as a man, because that's how we're also taught, but here's my role model for that.
Michael Gershe:So I was already bottling that up, not even grieving for my dad when my aunt passed away. So then that put me really into that spiral war. I lost my sense of humor and it was June. The first week of June of 2018, the Magic Life Foundation was going to have its very first fundraiser. I had a friend my photography mentor, ray, taking photos of me for new headshots there and she said we can't use these photos because you have sad eyes. And I thought I'm trying to hide, I'm trying to do a good job, I have this fundraiser, I'm putting on a good face. And this goes back to those same-binder connections connections because the people that really know us, they know us. We could try to hide, but they know who we are and when we're, when things aren't going well. So that was the first indicator, uh, in the indicator. The second one was having lunch with a friend of mine, who's who turned out, who was, who became a grief counselor.
Michael Gershe:I had an idea called Staying Up to Grief Three comedians doing comedy but also talking about our role in grief. There's me as a son. I had a friend that's a widower and another friend that lost his son, so we were going to do comedy but then also talk about grief. I'm in lunch with her and I stand up afterwards. She goes you don't look like yourself. She goes why don't you make an appointment? And it took me two days and I went on and that was the first step to getting into men's and also mental health. I made that appointment and every question was yes except one I was not pregnant. Appointment and every question was yes except one I was not pregnant.
Michael Gershe:But that was the same week where I had a plan. I was going to do what William did in my office and I put my head on my desk and I thought about Dolly, I thought about my brother, I thought about my friends, because we lost one of our best friends in 2004. And I thought about them and I got up from my office and I walk outside my building for a good 10 minutes and that pretty much saved my life. I didn't get up and get asking for help because I was done and it's not like I wanted to die. I wanted the pain to stop from the depression, the grief, all that.
Michael Gershe:And you know, going to grief counseling, the very first statement she asked was she didn't ask. It was more of a statement she goes let's talk about your mom's death and how that impacted all your relationships. I was seven years old and even though I talked about my mom's death on stage for the Magical Life program for impaired driving, we never really pro. I never really processed my mom's death. So here was the very first step and she was right because, you know, even though I had relationships and stuff, you know I'm not married or whatever, because I saw the pain my father went through and I went. I don't want to experience that.
Michael Gershe:Oh, I see um, I also sacrificed dating to go into comedy too. I put put career first too, so both those things. But I didn't want. Even though my dad and Dolly had a relationship, it still wasn't my mom and my dad.
Alethea Felton:Exactly yes, I understand.
Michael Gershe:So, seeing what my dad went through and I remember him writing me and my brother an email December 19th 2012, which would have been my parents' 48th wedding anniversary, and he was in the hospital a lot that year and he said even to that day it was still too hard to talk about my mom. He loved her. Yeah, he loved her. That was the love of his life. He carried around that grief and trauma for 47 years, so he had that mental part, the physical part with Parkinson's, wow, and you know.
Michael Gershe:So we had to work through that pain and trauma. And that's when I read a lot of Brennan Brown's books because I knew going to the counselor I was a problem, I had to heal myself. I was the issue. It wasn't other people, it was me. And I put that time and effort and I said I am willing to do whatever it takes to heal. And you know, every day is a healing process. I wouldn't say I'm healed, I'm healing. Of course, you know, and cause that trauma and grief, whatever, is always there. But now I have the tools to help cope with it.
Michael Gershe:The 21st is my mom's birthday. She would have been 82. You know, three days later is my birthday. So you know, these are the times, these anniversaries. As you know, it's hard. Counseling helped me get through that. So I kind of have those set skills, whether I go do photography or go hang out with friends or go on a hike, whatever it is. So when I went through that process and knowing how free it was as a man not to be afraid to talk about depression, trauma and grief, I wanted to give back and try to help other men who feel that it's too scary to ask for help or you know it's a sign of weakness, when really it's a sign of health strength. And when I was done with the council in the first time and my counselor goes, you look like a different person. I was like, I feel like a different person. That's putting in the work to to change. I went back again in my turn 50, because I think turning 50 to 50th car anniversary, the car, you know those type of things.
Michael Gershe:Then we did something called EMDR, which I can't remember the full name for, but it was a sensory type of thing and that and that helped because I had a lot of anger towards one of my best friends who died as a result of being a drunk driver in 2004, so I carried his anger that anger I had towards them until then, and then I had to let that go. And you know, being on, you know, meeting fellow men who, who are also open to talk about grief and trauma, is very cool because we should be able to normalize it, like we talk about sports, and not be afraid. And I learned you know Brene Brown with vulnerability and shame, you know, and shame and all those things Like what was I afraid of? It's very freeing and, you know, instead of my depression and grief and trauma controlling me, now I can kind of control it and go. You don't own me. And then the humor is a part of that too, because you kind of, you know, have some fun with it, so to speak.
Michael Gershe:But I think, you know, counseling allowed me to take control of it in a way, and you know medication can be a part of it. I mean, I was on Lexapro for like a little bit but, as we both know, medication's half of the healing process. Yes, so go to counseling and do the other half half of the healing process. Yes, go to counseling and do the other half. They're going to increase your meds more and more and the brain chemistry changes, but you're not doing the part in your soul to start that healing process.
Alethea Felton:And that's actually something that we never talked about, but it wasn't with my grief, because I did share with you. I've experienced significant grief also, but the part that we didn't share offline or anything like that. I actually was on Lexapro for about a year years ago. I was in a toxic work environment that led me to a very stressful situation. I had to take off. I had a bully boss at the time and there were two of us who were heads of departments in that specific organization and both of us at the same time took off work because of the pressure and I went to a doctor, everything and I was on Lexapro. So we're also Lexapro buddies and I took it for about a year.
Alethea Felton:But I like your point not making light of that situation. But it goes to show, you know and I'm just encouraging listeners and viewers out there that when you need the extra support and help, get the extra support and help, and there is no shame in taking care of yourself, none whatsoever. So I think that that's so important. And if somebody's listening now and I still have quite a few more questions, but I kind of want to take this moment If someone's listening right now or seeing this and they're actually having this challenge with grief or depression, what tips or strategies, or even just downright advice, would you give them, based on lessons you learned, even from your own journey?
Michael Gershe:I think the first step is recognizing it and knowing that you know you want to get help and be a burden to someone. Go confide in someone that you know won't look at you any differently. You know for that. You know trust is a huge thing and you know luckily I knew my grief counselor for many years and actually the grief.
Michael Gershe:Any kind of counselor may take 10 to 12 visits before you're really comfortable. So I was blessed that I knew that person. That first step is so important because your life means something to other people. I don't even know you, but whoever's listening or in that situation, it means something to me and it means something to us, right. That's why we're doing this to help other people to us, right? That's why we're doing this to help other people. You know, don't be afraid to be a burden to someone you know. Talk to uh. You know your clergy. Uh. You know whoever you feel you know you can trust with this information. Go seek out counseling. Um, you know it's there and, uh, it was a lot of times. It's free. Pick up the? Uh the phone and call the. You know, if you're feeling really desperate, there's that suicide hotline.
Alethea Felton:That's right.
Michael Gershe:There's so many things you can do, but, you know, making that first step and realizing, yeah, my, my, uh, my life is is valuable.
Alethea Felton:That's right.
Michael Gershe:People that are out there that love you and care for you, because you know when, when people find out what I went through and again I'll go back to the book because a lot of people didn't know um. My friends were like be a burden to me and I was like, okay, so when I have those you know bad days, whatever I know, you know I could text someone or call someone and they don't judge me any more than they used to in the past, uh.
Alethea Felton:So yeah, they're still judging me of course I'm secretly judging you, yeah it's not a secret anymore.
Michael Gershe:They're judging me but, um, jerks, I gotta find better people. But they care and you know we all have that. And you know you find that one person you kind of go to and kind of go this is what I'm going through and how do I get help. And you know the hotlines. They're counseling and there's brief, there's brief counseling centers, you know everywhere, and they'll you do something where you could start that healing process and get back to being you? Yeah, because that's the important thing. You know. Find the humor and stuff in life. You know. Do something that you enjoy. You know. Go on a hike, you know. Go have a good meal, enjoy a good movie. You know. Listen to music that you love. You know, for me music is so much. And you know, hearing songs from the 80s puts, you know, brings me back to the 80s and realizing, oh, hearing this song takes me back to my childhood and what I was doing there.
Michael Gershe:And that puts a smile on my face sometimes. So it's doing those things that you are passionate about and you enjoy. If you aren't ready for counseling, go, you know, find something that I learned in counseling my happy place. So it was sitting by a waterfall, you know, those are the things you could do. We all have a happy place to go to. Healthy wise Doesn't mean a bar, doesn't mean you know you're you're doing unhealthy things alcohol, drugs, whatever. That's right. Go find something that it's your happy place where it's also healthy. That's right. And that's very important because we both know, you know people will turn to alcohol and drugs to numb themselves. Mm, hmm, you know, I think we should feel the pain's OK, because we know what can we do not to feel that pain and that we still feel alive and that's okay. But yeah, go find those things that you are passionate about and enjoy.
Alethea Felton:That's right, and so when we talk about joy and we talk about passion, the phrase that comes to mind is magic of life. I love that name, so take us there. Magic of Life Foundation Program. What led you to create that? And I know that you gave a brief expose overview early on about it, but truly tell us Magic of Life, how that concept came to be what it is and how it helps others.
Michael Gershe:Even the Magical Life book. I'm going to take a page out of Gene Simmons' marketing Magical Life A Son's Story of Hope After Tragedy, grief and Despido Perfect thing to do. That'll be weird, even for me. Okay, I called it the Magical Life because back then, when I started the program, magic was a part of it.
Michael Gershe:Now, over I don't know how many years, when I got away from the magic and started doing standup in it, the magic of life took on a whole other philosophy type of meaning. Whereas, you know, in our life there is that magic to find and when you do that and you find that it's a beautiful thing. You know, when you saw a trick by David Copper copperfield, he did a, you know, made the statue of liberty disappeared. Yes, wasn't that awesome. Right, as a kid or even adult you put it puts a smile on your face. But the older I got and I and I moved away from you know the magic part, I thought man, life could be pretty magical. We know this is gonna sound kind of cheesy, but if you know the tricks, you know sometimes. So we're talking about counseling and doing things that make us happy, those passionate about those are tricks to find in our lives. That sounds really good. I should write that down um, yeah, watch um and uh, yeah it. So it took on a different meaning.
Michael Gershe:So I created the Magic Life Foundation because schools wanted the alcohol awareness program but they didn't have a way to pay for it a lot of times. So my mind was okay, let me start a nonprofit and maybe businesses could help sponsor the program to bring to the schools. So I couldn't find a way to make that happen. I mean, I'm an idea person but I couldn't. You know, business-wise, I couldn't get businesses to latch onto it for whatever reason. So a couple of them found the fundraisers we did before. Covid was we awarded officers in my area for their DUI enforcement. So we did two.
Michael Gershe:And comedy was a part of that. I had my fellow friends who were comedians, you know, do a performance. Afterwards, the second year we did a roast of one of the local judges, so humor was a very big part of it. And then I've been dragging my feet to do another one, uh, as well, because, um, you know, I get interested in different stuff, um, and so now, with the foundation, when we raise money, I look for either kids or other people that have been impacted by drunk driving. If they have a GoFundMe page, we'll donate to them, because I had Dolly in my life. If a kid loses a father or a mom or whatever it is, and there's a way to support them or help, then we'll donate to that. If they're recovering through injuries, we'll donate to that too. So that's another way to do it, to help out people that have been impacted by drunk driving and how can people give to your foundation?
Michael Gershe:on the michaelgirschcom there is. There is a page for the foundation and a link to like paypal.
Alethea Felton:That they can do. I don't have venmo on there.
Michael Gershe:But um or checks they can mail to my address here, but I know PayPal is an easy way to do it. Or if they email me, they want a Venmo. I only have PayPal or Venmo. I don't have all the 30 other ones that are out there these days, but we can do that.
Alethea Felton:I have all of them. I got Cash App, paypal, venmo Zelle.
Michael Gershe:There's so many, I will wear a Speedo. If they want to put a dollar in my Speedo, I'm happy with that too. There's a visual that no one wants. I apologize for that.
Alethea Felton:That's okay.
Michael Gershe:Let's edit that part out.
Alethea Felton:No, it's not being edited, so someone's going to envision you with a Speedo.
Michael Gershe:Sometimes my mouth goes before my brain.
Alethea Felton:So I'm very sorry Well so that's that is such a perfect transition, because that falls in line with what I was thinking about prior to the Speedo question is what do you hope your legacy will, be both personally and through the Magic of Life Foundation work?
Michael Gershe:I. I don't know if we can separate the two so much.
Alethea Felton:Okay.
Michael Gershe:It's a part of me, and there's days where I go. There's going to be a day where I'm going to stop doing it all, and there's days, I'll be honest, there's days where I just want to feel it's going to sound weird, normal right, where I'm not speaking, I'm not doing the foundation, I can just go out and sort of really enjoy life, I mean, which means not that I don't enjoy life, but it's like going to a restaurant or a bar or a function or like even a festival downtown, and you know there's people drinking. I can't really enjoy that because I also know there's going to be people leaving impaired. That's hard, but you can't separate that. But that's who I am and I wish I didn't feel that way. But that's part of my chemistry.
Michael Gershe:I guess You're on that, you're aware of that. So the legacy, I guess, would be back to that statement I said before. If you know, if I can make someone laugh and make a difference in their lives, then I did something pretty special and I think that that would be it, because you know, I use humor in that message and then to inspire people to see life in a different view. Or, you know, inspire the drunk drivers to never you know, drive impaired again.
Michael Gershe:I think that that's what it would be. He made people laugh and made a difference.
Alethea Felton:And I know of someone who had a DUI and they are so thankful that they didn't hit anybody, they didn't hurt anybody, but the shame and the guilt and the embarrassment that came with it and thankfully they didn't have to serve jail time but of course you know they had to do the breathalyzer thing with the car and all of that.
Alethea Felton:But I know that that person has committed and sworn like they are never doing, doing that again, because they were telling me that part of that impairment is that when the person's impaired they don't even realize they're impaired.
Alethea Felton:But you know they were telling me they're so thankful that they didn't have it as detrimental as somebody else who has killed somebody, who's lost someone, and it just took that one time for that person to say no more of this and to understand the severity and that they always felt that other people would get in that type of a situation and not them. Nobody ever thinks it could be them where you might just have one drink too many and it could change your entire life forever. And that's what I see happening more and more, especially in cases of tragedy, is that people are not thinking about the consequences and the effect it can have, just not on the person, whose life a person could take, but on the families, on the friends, on the people that they've loved, and just that downward spiral of it all. And so, michael, when it comes to even the most important lessons that you've learned from your journey, your life journey, what would that lesson be that you want to share with others who are facing their own challenges?
Michael Gershe:That's a tough question. Wow, that's heavy, yeah, you know. Oh boy, because there's so much packed into it. I mean, obviously it's. I would say, you know, live in a life where, if you make there's choices and consequences in life, right, we make the right choices, we have the right consequences. So, live in and making the right choices, where you have good outcomes, where you're not harming yourself, you're not harming others. For instance, you know driving impaired, but you're living a life where you know and go back to the other question whereas when you're, when your time is up, what would you want people to say about you?
Alethea Felton:Yeah.
Michael Gershe:What impact on society to make it better. Do you want to give back? Um, I think that's very important. You know, we want to try to leave it a little bit better than how we came into it in those days. You gotta go. Oh, there's no help force anymore. Um, it's like I'm just gonna hide and I need my pillow and go. I'll come out in 10 more years.
Alethea Felton:Man, we've all had those days. You just want to stay under the blanket.
Michael Gershe:But here we are using humor about what's going on in society. So I do, but you know it's maybe I'll sum it up this way is to be a son. My mother, my father and Dolly would continuously be proud of. I always, before my dad passed away, one of my, one of my mantras was be a son would be a son my mother would be proud of. Wow, I don't do it every day. I'm not perfect, right, and I have two goals on a daily basis is make someone laugh and make a difference in someone's life.
Michael Gershe:If I could come back home and do that, then that's a that's a good day for me and I think it's just because my dad last few birthday cards I would get was he would write how proud he was of me, and I think how beautiful and I think, as a son, I want to continue doing doing that and not embarrassing them too much.
Michael Gershe:Unstaged is okay, because that's a little bit different, but in life, where you know, I think parents want to be proud of their kids and vice versa, and not do anything to screw that up. So, and I'm not doing anything to screw that up, so my legacy is also theirs. You know, talking about my mom and doing this program is part of her legacy.
Alethea Felton:You know my dad's.
Alethea Felton:it's part of their story, so I think just to continue that, I think, would be it really and say if a person's listening or watching and they say well, Michael, you've had such obstacles that you've had to climb over and forge through, and I've had problems and challenges too, but it seems effortless on your part, it just seems natural. But I don't know how to find my own strength, I don't know how to find the purpose in sharing my story. If a person were to say that to you, what would be a response to them in terms of how they could at least start creating meaningful and positive change in their lives in order to help someone else?
Michael Gershe:Well, I'll answer another part first, where you said it seems effortless and we both know it's not right. It looks like it's on the surface right, because the struggle is inside. You know, there's days where I don't want to get out of bed. There's days I lay there until, like you know, nine o'clock, you know 930, a nice sunny day going, I'm happy, I don't want to move, I don't want to do anything. And then you, then you kind of go, get up I hear Dolly's voice get up, go do something. You know, even if you go take a shower, that's part of a good day.
Michael Gershe:Yeah, I think it's trying to find those things that you're passionate about most than anything else. You know people are passionate about saving pets. Well, I'll use that as an example. You know, then you're saving a cat or a dog from being euthanized. So even something like that gives you purpose. You purpose finding that role, whether you have kids or friends, something that makes you laugh. It goes back to finding your own joy and happiness.
Michael Gershe:And it does make me sad sometimes, where I've asked people what are they passionate about, and they go nothing, they don't know. Let's work the opposite end what don't you like? All right, let's toss those off and then we'll work down and go okay, what things do you enjoy? We'll have something we enjoy, that's right. It has to be something, you know. Call it ice cream, all right, fine Y'all. I'm not talking about those people. I don't want to hear lactose intolerant, all this. You know cause. You know, um, yeah, we all have something out there that we're passionate about we, you know. It has to be one thing. It doesn't have to be major. You know cause. What you're passionate about may not be my thing, but you know what it means something to you.
Alethea Felton:Yeah.
Michael Gershe:You're passionate about it and that's all that counts. It might be stamp collecting fantastic. You might love bugs fantastic. As long as it means something, it's special to you, you alone get it. That's all that counts. So start with that, and you know it doesn't be huge. I mean, you know, look, I'm almost 54. You know it's been a work in progress and I've I've done the work and the humor and all that stuff. So you agreed that struggle is still inside. It may look effortless but we know it's not. We put on that good face and there's days you got to go oh, this is, it's hard. But then take comedy, and they get up on stage and you make someone laugh and you're like, oh, that's all, it's hard. But then take comedy. They get up on stage and you make someone laugh and went, oh, that's all.
Alethea Felton:I needed you know, yeah, yeah.
Michael Gershe:So you know it's just, I mean, look, I love photography. You know that. I mean photography allows me to stay connected to my brother and my dad. You know we're both, my brother and I both do photography as a connection, you know, and brings us joy. You know, you might be an artist, you might love books, whatever it is, just find that one thing that makes you, you know, a little bit of joy and that's your starting point.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, special events or projects or shows or anything that you'd like to share with the audience that, say, would be coming up, say in the fall or by the end of the year. Is there anything on the books, or should people just go to your website just to see what's happening next for you?
Michael Gershe:I don't have any announcements for shows on the website. I usually post that on like facebook and stuff oh, okay, so they can you have my next comment. I think tomorrow I have the court um which I do monthly. So if someone's living in northeast ohio they want to come and check it out, that's fine. I am part of the 30th anniversary. We're doing a special 30th anniversary comedy show for the 30th anniversary of the Shawshank Redemption movie.
Alethea Felton:Okay, when is that going to be that?
Michael Gershe:is August 2nd or 3rd.
Alethea Felton:Okay, this might air afterwards. Yeah, Well, never mind people.
Michael Gershe:You can't come back in the past. For it. You never know you don't know, you might see a DeLorean somewhere. We have two comedy fundraisers in October.
Alethea Felton:Okay, good Okay.
Michael Gershe:Here in the Akron area. November I will be back at the Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls with my friend, greg Morton, who was on a semifinalist on America's Got Talent. He also made me promise to write a book about my life. He made me promise it. It took me 20 promise to write a book about my life. He made me promise it. It took me 20 years to write it, but he is one of my closest friends. You talk about inspiration and a talent. Go online and look up Greg Morton, m-o-r-t-o-n. He is just an extremely talented, funny guy and one of the nicest guys I've ever met and no matter where he is, if he's coming to your town, go see him. That's November and you know that's about it. I mean, comedy shows will pop up every once in a while. Yeah, once here and there, and that's really about it. You know I'll get back into the fall photography and post those on there, but Of course that's about it for my schedule.
Alethea Felton:And we can buy your book on Amazon or directly from your website.
Michael Gershe:So you can do Amazon Barnes and Noble as well. And then, if people want autographed copies, there is a way through the website they could contact me and then we can do it that way too Wonderful Pay, and then I'll ship them out. You know, I'll personalize them for everyone.
Alethea Felton:Perfect, and I'll also have a link to his book in the show notes. And as a closing question as we bring this to an end, Michael, what are you most proud of about yourself?
Michael Gershe:I always have to think about myself oh man, You're getting me on these questions. These are tough ones.
Alethea Felton:I don't know what is one thing that you're proud about yourself in.
Michael Gershe:I think I'm proud of. Now you're going to make me emotional and I'm going to try not to be, but now you're going to get me. I think I'm proud to try not to be, but now you're going to get me. I think I'm proud that I did ask for help in 2018 and I'm still here.
Alethea Felton:Yes, I'm glad you're here too.
Michael Gershe:You're going to make me cry on that one.
Alethea Felton:I'm glad. I'm glad that you're here.
Michael Gershe:I think that it's currently that one thing yeah.
Alethea Felton:Yeah, I'm glad that you're here, michael, and I'm glad that you have been so transparent and open in that you know that your life, I know that your life has value and it has such meaning, and I'm just glad that you're here and that you've been able to touch so many lives and you're going to be able to touch so many more, and I am truly honored to have had you as a guest on the Power Transformation Podcast today. Thank you.
Michael Gershe:Thank you so much for having me. It's been an awesome time, so thank you.
Alethea Felton:If you enjoyed today's show, then you don't want to miss an episode, so follow the Power Transformation Podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you usually listen, and remember to rate and review. I also invite you to connect with me on social media at Alethea Felton. That's at A-L-E-T-H-E-A-F-E-L-T-O-N. Until next time, remember to be good to yourself and to others.
