The Power Transformation Podcast
Some people survive their hardest seasons. Others use them to thrive and become someone entirely new.
This show is for the ones who choose the second option.
The Power Transformation Podcast is a Top 3% globally ranked show where entrepreneurs, thought leaders, and everyday people are vulnerable and transparent about what transformation actually costs and what it produces. They share the stories behind their stories, the moments that are rarely spoken of yet changed everything and the crucial decisions that rebuilt them.
Host Alethea Felton is not a bystander to hard things. Born with Crohn's Disease and a rare liver condition that once left her critically ill, she overcame a severe stutter and navigated the grief of losing her two closest friends to cancer before they reached 40.
Instead of remaining in her pain, Alethea not only had a 20 year award winning career as a public school educator as well as doing entrepreneurial ventures on the side, a few years ago she became a professional speaker and certified transformation specialist because she refused to let adversity be her final word.
Every episode of The Power Transformation Podcast delivers practical tools for leveling up and becoming stronger mentally, emotionally, personally, and professionally.
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The Power Transformation Podcast
A Reiki Master's Journey: From Brain Tumor to Resilience & Healing with Catherine Miller
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How do you turn life's most daunting challenges into a source of inspiration? resilience and compassion? Join us on a transformative journey as Catherine Miller shares her incredible story of overcoming multiple medical adversities - including a serious brain tumor - to become a beacon of resilience and healing in the wellness community.
Discover the power of self-advocacy, holistic practices, and a close-knit support system in navigating life's toughest challenges and emerging stronger than ever. Don't miss this inspiring episode filled with hope, strength, and wisdom for your own journey towards healing and well-being.
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Episode 97's Affirmation:
I embrace the power of holistic healing to transform my challenges into personal growth and wellness.
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Introducing Catherine Miller
Alethea FeltonI had the honor to interview Catherine Miller . She is truly the epitome of a power transformation , while she is a health and wellness guru and expert , from being a Reiki and yoga instructor to teaching about trauma-informed practices and mindfulness , catherine herself experienced a severe medical diagnosis that changed her entire world , and she has used that to continue being a light to so many people who experience darkness in so many different areas of their life . But Catherine is resilient , catherine is strong , catherine has implemented her own techniques in her own life so that she is thriving , and so I am so overjoyed today to have Catherine Miller as my guest on the Power Transformation Podcast , and she is going to share how she came back through such a challenging situation and how she now helps others make their life better . Hey y'all , welcome back to another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast . I am so excited that you have joined me today . I am your host , alethea Felton , and if it is your first time joining us for this podcast , I welcome you , welcome , welcome , welcome . And I mean that it is because of you that I have such faithful listeners and people who are actually incorporating what my guests are sharing so that they can place it into their own lives and find their bit of strength , find their bit of how to make improvements in their own life , and to know that everybody has a story to share . I also thank you for keeping this as a top 5% podcast . I also thank you for keeping this as a top 5% podcast .
Alethea FeltonI know I say it quite often , but I want you to understand the importance of it , and it is because , with podcasts now being a dime a dozen and so many different topics out there , this podcast is a movement , meaning that it is really speaking to ordinary people , is really speaking to ordinary people , regardless of what your job title is . This is speaking to people and explaining the human experience . We all have something valuable and insightful that we can share about our own lives , and that is what this show is all about is how everyday people whether you are a CEO or perhaps someone who lives at home and works from home or is a stay-at-home parent it doesn't matter your profession . What matters is how you chose to take an obstacle in your life , and you have come back even stronger and greater and more resilient from it . And my guest today does exactly that , and so I want to get right into this interview with Catherine Miller today , but I thank you who are new , as well as all of my faithful listeners , and so much is happening with the show that I'm going to be sharing in the near future .
Alethea FeltonWe're going to go ahead and start with our affirmation . I'll say it once and then you repeat it I embrace the power of holistic healing to transform my challenges into personal growth and wellness . Okay , y'all , I am so happy today to have Catherine Miller here . She is a holistic healer , reiki practitioner , just as I told you , but so much more , and you are going to see her light shine through . And , catherine , I am so glad to have you on the Power Transformation Podcast . Welcome .
Catherine MillerThank you , thank you , thank you so much for having me . I'm really excited .
Alethea FeltonYou are so welcome , so this is what I like to do first . I always like to have a fun icebreaker question , a random question , something so that we can just get to know you more . Okay , this is your question , catherine
How Personal Health Challenges Shaped Catherine's Perspective
Alethea Felton. If you were a late night talk show host , who would be one of your first guests ? Doesn't have to be the first , but one of your first guests that you would want to interview , and why ?
Catherine Milleroh , uh , my mom . Oh , I'm gonna interview my mom . Um , I just think my mom is the most amazing person . Um , a lot of the stuff I do now is because she either introduced me to it or kind of was just very supportive of me doing the stuff , and she's really funny and we just we get along so well and I think it would be just cool to interview her and have her talk about her story and you know , even her experience with things like that , yeah .
Alethea FeltonWow , you know , I love hearing that because sometimes we've heard of , and I've even had , a couple of guests who haven't had the best relationships with their mother , and they are women like us and I think a mother-daughter relationship is so important . I'm so close to my mom and you're right , it's just a different feeling that you get , knowing you have this other woman who is your mom . But in my adulthood I can speak for myself it's like mom has also become a friend , and I don't say that in a disrespectful way , but yes , she has become my friend , and so I am so glad that you said that , and I know that your mom is going to be listening to this or even watching it . So shout out to your mom , shout out , mama , phenomenal . That's a great way to start . So , with that being said , catherine , if someone were to ask you randomly , not knowing that you were Catherine Miller , but said who is Catherine Miller , what would you say ?
Catherine MillerI'm still figuring that out . Yeah , let's see . But I guess , more in line with you know what we're going to talk about today , I would say anything , it can be anything .
Alethea FeltonIt doesn't have to be in alignment .
Catherine MillerI would probably say someone who just experienced different things and by choice , but also just the way life unfolded , like it prepared me for who I am now and the things I do now , which kind of I think makes those experiences it like brings , adds more beauty to them , because you kind of see the purpose in . You know why . You may have experienced , had certain experiences , you know . For me it was different surgeries or kind of ailments , and at the time it felt like , oh , you know , this just sucks right . Oh , I'm having surgery , I'm having this , and now it's kind of like , oh , that brought me some knowledge and wisdom and stuff for what I do now .
Alethea FeltonAnd Catherine , just from me , knowing a little bit about your backstory , I'm telling you the things you've experienced . A lot of people would have quit , but you actually didn't . And that leads me to this next question about the fact that you even said it . But you have faced , Catherine , significant , significant health challenges from a young age , including surgeries , and also something specifically that happened that I know that you are going to talk about . But let's kind of go back some and just share how these health challenges and experiences actually shaped your perspective on health and wellness and how they actually influence or pave the way for your journey into holistic health and healing . So it's a loaded question , but take it any way that you like to .
Catherine MillerSure , yes . So , as you said , I had some surgeries , and this was all prior to kind of my understanding of things from a more holistic perspective . So I danced growing up and absolutely loved to dance Like it was my life . Ballet was my life . I thought I would be a prima ballerina . I wanted to be a prima ballerina . It wasn't cut out for me .
Catherine MillerBut I have , like hypermobility issues and so through that I actually injured myself and had to have both my hips operated on in high school , and so not only was it the physical pain , but it was also , you know , something I had done since I was two years old , but it was also , you know , something I had done since I was two years old . And then when you stop doing that , right , you identify , like my identity , I think , was so tied to what I did that then , when I couldn't anymore , or it was the source of this pain , it also affected me emotionally and mentally , right . And when you're in high school , when you're a teenager , you're going through puberty , right , you're hormonal , everything's changing hormonally . It really just felt for me like I think it just really affected me more on an emotional level , looking back on it now , than I think probably people had anticipated , um , and then there had also been some other things around , like nutrition and dietary changes I'd had to make several years prior . So it felt like all of these . It felt in a lot of ways like my body was turning against me , like my body , my body and I were at odds with each other that's what it felt like for a long time Like I didn't uh , I didn't get along with my body . You know my body wasn't supporting me along with my body . You know my body wasn't supporting me .
Catherine MillerAnd through that , however , I slowly started to , you know , find other ways that I could help my body right . So , dietary like , when it came to diet , I had told my mom that I wanted to become a vegetarian , and I was pretty young , I was already pretty small , small weight wise . And so she said , okay , you still have to eat fish , but you know I'll do this with you . And as we went through this , we kind of realized , oh , we're not eating a lot of vegetables . Right , we're vegetarians , but we're not eating a lot of vegetables . And so we started to explore food . And so we'd get magazines right , and we'd read up on them .
Catherine MillerAnd my mom grew up , her parents were farmers , so she was familiar with things , but it kind of was almost like us diving deep into you know , oh , this food is beneficial for this right , or what if we try this recipe . So it definitely kind of expanded some things that we cooked and we kind of just became , I would say , like I kind of became my own guinea pig through that right . It was like , oh , let's try this recipe , right , let's experiment with this . My mom is always big about experimenting , like in the kitchen when we're cooking , and so I think that that was really helpful , because then later on down the line , when I had some other surgeries right , it was like , oh , hey , you know , we read about this , right , maybe we can use food , you know , for a healing purpose , not just because it , you know , tastes good .
Catherine MillerAnd then even with my hip surgeries , right , it was kind of like pivoting to you know , okay , other ways that the body can move right . So I was hypermobile . So even though my mom had introduced me to yoga and we'd done it on and off over the years , it became more of , okay , yoga can be beneficial because it can help build the strength that my body didn't have , right . And then I also got introduced to acupuncture , and so that was looking more at things from an energetic perspective right , and being able to , I think , put words to things that I had felt , but I didn't have the language for as it related to Western medicine .
Catherine MillerAnd this is right , and this is not to say Western medicine is bad , like I have trusted my surgeons literally with my life and and they have been wonderful , but it just it gave other language to you know , I'm feeling a certain way , but I , I , you know , if I go tell a doctor , they may not have the answer , and with my acupuncturist , you know , I could explain something to her and she could , you know , she would be able to say , oh , your energy , you know , might be deficient here , you know , or it might be , because you know , it might be affecting your sleep in these ways . And so it almost made me feel like , oh , oh , I'm , I actually know what I'm talking about . Right , like my body and I are communicating , and it helped me to kind of learn how to communicate a little bit more with my body . So all of this was kind of going on basically from maybe like age , like elementary school , into high school .
Alethea FeltonWow . Like pretty much a lot of your childhood . You were going through a lot , and I know that you talk about the hip surgeries and things of that nature and how your body seemed to be fighting against you . Out of all of these challenges you had either in childhood or even in your younger adulthood , what do you think was one of the most not to say they weren't serious , but what do you think was the one that was the most life altering for you and how did you navigate through that ?
Catherine MillerYeah , so I did actually have a third surgery right before college , but the most altering one was a couple of years after I graduated college . I I had brain surgery , so I had had headaches or , I think , migraines I'd had probably . I think , maybe around age 16 or so , I would get like a really bad migraine about once a year , and in college they might become a little more frequent . You know , maybe it was twice a year and I would go to sleep , I'd wake up , I'd feel better , but it was always in the same spot and , you know , I kind of I told my parents . You know , I kind of told friends , like , you know , I think there might be something going on , but my parents want me to be a hypochondriac , you know . So they're like , everything's okay , you know you're okay and , um , the it was in the fall of 2013 . Um , the headaches started to become more frequent , more and more frequent , and sometimes , even when I would go to sleep , they wouldn't go away . Um , and so I was also , I had just recently moved out of my parents' house , um , and I was , you know , spending more time hanging out with friends . Uh , I actually started taking up dancing once more , and I was so afraid to tell them because I was afraid that they would tell me , you know , oh , you're doing too much , right ? You just need more sleep . You know , cut back on all the stuff you're doing .
Catherine MillerAnd I started having these episodes where if I was reading something , or even listening , like I remember one time being at work , being on the phone with , uh , with someone , like with a client , and I the words that they were saying were jumbled in my head as I was understanding them Interesting , and it's the same .
Catherine MillerWhen I would read it was like the word . I would have these moments , you know whether it lasted 30 seconds , maybe a little bit longer , where when I would look at the words , they would all just look jumbled in my mind , so just out of order , and then it would , then it would go away . So you know , of course my thought is oh , my goodness , I must really be tired . You know I really must be tired . But it started to all happen more and more frequently . And then I was coming back from a meeting with my director , who I worked very , very closely with , and he asked me a question about a partner that we worked with and I went to answer and no words came out of my mouth and yeah , and I I remember just kind of being like what is going , like what is going on . It's a very weird sensation to go to talk and you just can't talk .
Alethea FeltonSo let me ask you does it mean that in your mind you knew the words that you wanted to say , but when you tried to articulate them , you knew the words that you wanted to say , but when you tried to articulate them , your tongue wouldn't move , your vocal cord didn't react . Yeah , you're just literally just can't speak like my mouth is open .
Catherine MillerYeah , but it's as if I'm talking . You know I was talking to to you as I was right now as I was talking to him and then he asked a question and I just opened my mouth and it was just , oh my goodness , just dead silence . And it's very weird to explain because I kept thinking like Catherine , talk , talk , but nothing came out . And so he was like okay , he actually I remember he said to me that's weird . He's like let me ask you a simpler question , because it was just such a weird interaction .
Catherine MillerAnd then I was able to talk again . So I went and called my parents and you know my mom was saying you like you should go , you should go make an appointment with your primary care physician . You know mom knows best . She said call your PCP . And um I then she said you know , I'll also call her acupuncturist because , again , you know she'd been seeing me for years and so she was very familiar with with me .
Catherine MillerAnd as the day went on I started to get a really bad headache again . So I went to see her and she was trained as a Western nurse . So of course I really appreciated her perspective as well , because she understood things both from a Western and Eastern medical perspective . And she she flashed a little light in my eye and you know , said follow the light . And she said she said you need to go see a neurologist . She said your left eye is sluggish . She said I can treat your headache tonight , but you need to go . You need to go see a neurologist , there's something that's wrong . So she treated me , I got into see maybe my PCP , like a day or two later , and I explained everything . And you know , I will just kind of use this opportunity to also say you know , really make sure that people , those who are listening , to advocate for yourself because my , my doctor did not listen to me they said , oh , you must have caught a virus . You know , when you went to go visit your your friend in New York , cause I rode a bus and I kept saying I was feeling I had these symptoms prior to that . It's not a virus , there is something that is wrong . And I , literally I really had to fight for myself . I remember getting so upset because I'm thinking , because I'm thinking I know my body better than anyone does , it's not a virus . And so they were like , okay , fine , you know what we'll get you , I'll write up a referral for you to get an MRI . And I kind of felt like they did it to kind of just essentially shut me up , you know , to prove me wrong . And so then the following week I think it was the following week I went in , had my MRI and later on that afternoon they called and actually they called my primary care physician who then called me and she called to say you have a brain tumor . Wow , and I remember thinking to myself I told you something was wrong , right , I was kind of like , no duh , there's something going on and that just turned into about .
Catherine MillerI think it was about three weeks of Appointments , you know , being hooked up to things , and on my first appointment with my neurosurgeon , he walked in and said you're going to have an awake craniotomy on this date . Oh my gosh . And I said oh , I said I'm not going to be awake . I said I've had surgeries before . I'm not going to be awake . And he said you're , you're going to be awake . You need to be awake .
Catherine MillerSo I fought him a couple more times and then I conceded , but they needed to . Essentially , what happened is I had a tumor , while it was not it's not cancerous , it's common in children and young adults but it had grown enough to a size that it was pressing on a part of my brain that was affecting my communication , which is why you couldn't speak that day Exactly and so I needed to be awake , because they needed to make sure that they only cut out the brain tumor and not the part of the brain which helped with my speech , or else I could lose the ability to speak or have my speech affected , and brain tumor looks like brain matters so yeah , so I don't mean to cut you off and I want you to pick up here , but just a quick clarifying question .
Brain Tumor Diagnosis and Surgery
Alethea FeltonIn that moment when your doctor calls you and says you have a brain tumor , take us back to that initial reaction that you have , especially after you get off of the phone . How are you feeling ? What's going through your mind ? Take us to that real raw moment . Was it shock , was it worry ? Was it fear ? Was it chill and calm ? Was it all of the above ? Take us there .
Catherine MillerSo it was . It was kind of both things . And I will also just say I was because of past MRIs that I'd had . I was , I would feel a little claustrophobic . So I they had prescribed me Valium and I was sleeping to kind of , you know , get that out of my system . So I will say , right , that was a little bit in my system . So I think I was probably a little more calm . So I do want to . I do want to say that I think it was twofold .
Catherine MillerIt was I felt part of me actually felt validated for once you know that I had told them I told them I've been , you know saying like , had told them I told them I'd been , you know saying like something's , something's wrong , like nobody I at least to me . I was like why am I only having a headache in this one part ? You know , it's always stemming from this one part of my head . And then there's still be like , oh my gosh , I have a brain tumor .
Alethea FeltonYou know , people talk .
Catherine MillerOh my gosh , I have a brain tumor , you know people talk . I kind of feel like there are the more . I want to say this , and you know , there I think there are more . There's other ailments or conditions or things that are talked about more frequently . But I had always felt like as soon as you hear brain tumor , people jump to the absolute worst .
Alethea FeltonThey sure do yeah Right , uh-huh .
Catherine MillerAnd it was also . You know , all of a sudden you're like , oh , wow , I need to pay a whole lot more attention to my brain because all this stuff is happening . And I mean , there was one time my dad was driving me to an appointment and I was like I think I just had a seizure . Was one time I , my dad , was driving me to an appointment and I was like I think I just had a seizure ? And I remember he looked so scared while driving because all this can be going on right and nobody has any idea what's going on inside of you , like it just felt like such also a total loss of control . So it was this like , oh , finally , I have an answer . Right , I knew I was right . You know , like my intuition was right and at the the same time , what does this look like ? You know , like what's gonna happen ? Um , so it was .
Catherine MillerI think it was mixed feelings at the same time , because I did call my parents . I called them on the phone because I was like I'm still kind of recovering from this valium . I didn't , I couldn't get out of bed . And they came in and I told them and , you know , I think I just remember the look on my dad's face was kind of like that fear , you know . And then there was also the like I think it was also seeing . Their reaction was then like OK , I'm validated . But also this is this is scary . You know I had been used to hip . You know hip surgeries which weren't super invasive , you know . Or I had another surgery on my jaw , like those are a little less invasive . This is your brain .
Alethea FeltonExactly and even when we had our pre-call although we kept it surface level because I didn't want to go as in depth , you know , I think I shared with you , especially when you told me it wasn't cancerous is because I had a cousin . One of my first cousins , when I was about 13 , died of a brain tumor , but it was cancerous . And I think sometimes people can default automatically and think if you have a tumor or a mass in your brain , that is automatically cancerous , and that's not always the case and I think sometimes that's what causes a person's reaction is because they automatically hear brain tumor , think cancer , think oh , my goodness , she's about to die , even if it's not spoken . But even if it's not cancerous , I think it's important to point out it's still serious . This is serious business . So it doesn't matter whether it's malignant or not . They're telling you that they need to do brain surgery while you're awake . What was the rationale for you being awake as opposed to sleeping ?
Catherine MillerYeah , so , um , so because so the brain tumor looks just like your brain matter . Oh , my , so so they have to make sure that they at least the way that they explained it to me , you know it . They have to make sure that they cut out the tumor and not the brain matter . So that was . So I had to be awake for them to . Essentially they poked around in my brain and I mean we can kind of jump ahead to that .
Alethea FeltonHow did that feel it doesn't hurt .
Catherine MillerI know that you were numb , but Well , you're right , your brain doesn't feel pain , so I was asleep , right I ? Was asleep for them to cut through my skull and then they wake you up and it feels like a sponge . Honestly , it feels like a squishy sponge . It really like the way when you look at what a brain looks like it . To me it feels the way you would imagine it feels .
Alethea FeltonUh-huh , yeah it's fascinating .
Catherine MillerSo the downside was , when you have been under anesthesia usually it takes people a bit of a while to come to they immediately were like okay , I need you to count to 10 .
Catherine MillerAnd so you're just woken up , right , I remember it was it's cold in the OR , there's a lot of things . I was so afraid to move my head , I felt like saline . I thought it was blood , but it was saline , you know , because you have to keep everything sterile . And they just immediately are like okay , start counting to 10 . And I was like I'm trying to catch my breath , you know , I to like where am I ? What's going on ? It's like count to 10 .
Catherine MillerSo I counted to 10 , you know , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , and I could feel them pressing on different areas . So they said , okay , count to 10 again 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , right , I'm like trying to get it out in one breath because I'm , my body is still , you have been under anesthesia . And so they kept doing that until they came to the part that they did not want to remove , right , which affected my speech . And when I did that , when I counted to 10 , uh , it essentially I went , I was like one , two , three , four I remember my tongue , I couldn't control moving and I , and then I was like , oh my , like I'm in my mind think , oh my gosh , and they're like , okay , count to 10 again . So it was a lot at once that's , that's .
Alethea FeltonThat's kind of creepy . And it is creepy now that I'm on the other side .
Catherine MillerAll right , I'm like it's kind of cool you know , to press on something and your , your , your tongue , your everything just kind of loses control . But it was also in the moment . I just remember being like I just want my mommy you know I need my mommy to hold my hand , and it was just they were like , okay , keep doing it . You know , keep going , keep going . Because of course they , you know , were concerned .
Catherine MillerYou know they're in there to do a job and I had such a wonderful surgeon , such a wonderful neurosurgeon , neurologist the medical team was amazing . Even I will shout out one of my nurses she was a black female nurse she braided my hair so that they I mean , you can see , you know I got a lot of hair , so they didn't have to shave off all my hair , I only lost like a little strip of it . Like they really did take so many things into consideration . You know , before all of this , I had had a functional MRI . You know they had done so much to , you know , to make sure that I was prepared and that they knew what they were going in to see , and I'm extremely grateful for that , because I also know that there are a lot of people who are not able to be seen within the short amount of time that I was . A lot of people have to wait longer , and it's still , though . Nothing prepares you for being on a operating table with your skull open .
Alethea FeltonThat's right . I mean nothing .
Catherine MillerWow . There's nothing and at one point they left because they biop . So it was a biopsy and craniotomy right . The goal was to be able to remove it all if possible .
Maintaining Resilience Through Medical Challenges
Catherine MillerBut they went to check out the biopsy and I was by myself on the table and then that just felt like an eternity .
Alethea FeltonYeah .
Catherine MillerHow long were ?
Alethea Feltonyou by yourself .
Catherine MillerI don't know . I mean part of me feels like maybe it was , it could have been five minutes , it could have been 20 . I really don't know . I mean part of me feels like maybe it was , it could have been five minutes , it could have been 20 . I really don't remember . I one point I did ask a nurse to come hold my hand . Um , and so she did they , they . I think it was a female nurse . She did for a little bit and then she was like I'm so sorry , like I need to go back to you know , to my , my post or whatever in the OR , and so then you're just alone again and I just started praying , right , because you're just kind of there like the only way out is through .
Catherine MillerYou know the only way out is through , and you just wait and you know you just trust that everything's okay , right , you trust that that's saline and not blood , you know , like . But it was one of those moments where and that had also been my feeling going into this whole surgery was , I think I think I told you in the pre-call like I had this , I had this one-on-one talk with God , you know where I had said , like I don't know how this is going to end up , like I don't know what's going to happen , I don't know what this is . All you know what's going to come from .
Alethea FeltonSo young and experiencing all of these challenges , Catherine , how in the world did you maintain your resilience throughout all of these challenges ?
Catherine MillerI mean I feel like you could sometimes , you know it's you really don't have an option , I think an option , I think I think also , you know , I had , especially during this , my , my mama called her , my mama called her community , she called everybody , told all of them , so I had people praying for me across the country and I think , you know , I think the fact that just knowing that at every appointment , you know , one of my , one of my parents was with me , you know my brothers were calling , like I think , while it does not make it less scary , it just makes it a little easier to have , just know that someone is there , you know , with you .
Catherine MillerRight , that like because also , what was happening is they put me on anti-seizure medication because essentially those episodes I was having , that was having a focal seizure , and I went on anti-seizure medication which stopped the seizures in the time between the diagnosis and the surgery , but it affected things like my hair falling out although I still have a lot of hair , so nobody could tell except my mom was the only one who really knew but it also was affecting things like my hair falling out , although I still have a lot of hair , so nobody could tell except my mom was the only one who really knew , but it also was affecting things like my memory .
Catherine MillerSo sometimes it was just nice where , like my mom , could kind of make up for the slack , where you know where , if I would forget something either during that time period or even afterwards in my recovery . Yes , because you know , going through a surgery , going through a procedure , going even just getting that diagnosis , it's exhausting
Lessons From Loss and Transition
Catherine Miller. I think a lot of times people forget , you know , when you have to go to all these appointments , right , answer all these questions , do all these tests , mentally and emotionally . That weighs on you as well , right , that sometimes is also what can affect , in my opinion , like how people fare . Can affect , in my opinion , like how people fare .
Catherine MillerAnd so having someone , like having someone who's there with you , right , who's like , oh no , you know she , she experienced this the other day , right , or she felt this , it's like , oh , you know , I was just like , god bless my mother . I was like , you know , thank goodness I have someone who essentially , like , knows my health history and can answer right and fill in those gaps , because I think that that that did make it just a little bit easier , right , so that I could focus on , you know just all of the emotions that are coming up , because , while everyone else is still scared , you know that you are going through this , that you're , you're having this and you're also kind of having to navigate their emotions right and what they're feeling and reassuring them . You're still like , okay , at the end of the day it's not like I can bring my parents into the OR with me , right , like it's just , it's just you , and so you realize , you realize you , it's like I would never wish this on anyone , but you realize , okay , I have , I can go through something significant , Right , and even if it takes me a long time to heal from right , or it it , in my case , you know , kind of introduced me to other things and that kind of changed the trajectory in my case . You know , kind of introduced me to other things and that kind of changed the trajectory . You kind of do realize that you do have this strength and you also have something for me to look back on 10 years later . Right , like it .
Catherine MillerI tell I was just telling a friend and I've talked about it since my mom . Sometimes , when things overwhelm me , my mom will be like , okay , but you , you made it through an awake craniotomy and it kind of is like oh yeah , I did like this . This pales in comparison , right Like it may still be significant , but I know that I can make it through .
Alethea FeltonI know , and the fact that you not only made it through , catherine , but you just didn't keep your blessing to yourself , so as to speak , and you are open about talking about how , yes , your mom helped to craft and helped you pave this wellness journey , but also your bond with your grandmother also was a huge part of it , is a huge part of it . So I want to take a shift , in a sense , to ask you specifically about that . You mentioned to me offline about your grandmother and that when she transitioned , in a sense , that it gave you that nudge or extra boost you needed to pursue your path . So how did the experience of loss and transition deepen your understanding of life ? And also how did it help to influence what you do now in order to help others ?
Catherine MillerYeah , so this was actually about a year , a little over a year , um , before I found out I had the my the brain tumor , um , actually . So both of my dad's parents passed within nine months of each other . So in the same year , um , and while his father's passing was sudden , my , my grandmother , she had kind of just started to I would , I would say , kind of deteriorate . I mean that that was her , you know , that was her husband of nearly 60 years , like that's . You know , that's a huge loss , class . And um , we had spoken to her . She had kind of started to like things really started to shift , um , later on in that year , 2012 . Um , and I remember we spoke with her and my dad had said you know , we're going to come up to visit you tomorrow . So we drove up the next day because , you know , it sounded pretty serious and , um , I just I love this memory so much she , you know dad , had said we're coming , we're coming to see you . I remember we parked the car , my dad ran into the house , he ran to her room by her bedside , and I remember her shifting her gaze to him and he , you know , hi , mom , it's me . And he , basically , he gave her permission . You know he said whenever you're ready to to go , you know you can . He gave her permission to transition and it was so beautiful to to see her wait for him and you know they say this a lot when people are starting to transition , right , they they will hold on sometimes for a person right , like they need to say their goodbyes , and so he kind of walked her through that and she , well , I think she fell into a coma for a few days and so we , we were bedside for those her last few days and started to see her body transition , right , the organ starting to shut down and , um , my dad would say different prayers , uh , for her , um , you know , as someone starting to transition .
Catherine MillerAnd I remember the night before she passed , I had this very real dream . I the only thing I can think of is maybe I don't I don't even want to call it a premonition , but it was one of those where , when I woke up from it , I I thought it had actually happened and basically I had seen her kind of come in and like this very new , revitalized body , but it was just something about it , like I was there with her . It wasn't just a dream , and , but it was just something about it , like I was there with her . It wasn't just a dream , yeah . So I remember I woke up crying because I was like what just happened ? I ran down and of course she was still in bed , so it just really freaked me out . But later on that afternoon we went to say the rosary by her bedside .
Catherine MillerAnd as we were saying it , we got towards the end of the prayer and I remember my aunt started saying like this litany I think it was her favorite , my grandmother's favorite litany and my grandmother's . It almost looked like my grandmother's mouth started to move .
Alethea FeltonWow .
Catherine MillerI think the line was like Jesus , pray for us , or something . And I just remember everybody in the room it was my dad's two sisters , my mom , my dad and me . We all stood up and , again , I remember feeling so overwhelmed and they all just started to say goodbye to her and it's actually making me start to tear up thinking about it . So one of my aunts kept saying the prayer and I remember my mom and my dad being like we love you , graham . You say hi to granddad for us . One of my aunts kept saying the prayer and I remember my mom and my dad being like you know , we love you , graham . Um , you say hi to granddad for us .
Catherine MillerUm , and I remember it looked like a tear came out of her eye and I remember I'm I'm very emotional and I cried , everything as you can tell . I remember my mom came over to cause I was literally about to like lose it and and it was just something about um , it's hard to describe it , but seeing someone pass away , and especially in such a beautiful way , like kind of really inspires you to look back at your own life . Right , I think a lot of times when people experience death or loss or something you know , like an ailment or a condition or a surgery .
Catherine MillerIt kind of has you reevaluate your own life , right , like what am I doing Right ? Am I living ? Oh , my goodness , I'm like not crying now , but it still sounds like I am .
Alethea FeltonThat's okay , girl , just be you , it's fine honey .
Catherine MillerI tell people I literally cry at everything , though it can be something happy . There's a butterfly outside my window , right , I'm like bawling , but it just kind of really has you look back at your life , right , and like when I get to be , I think the question I really started to ask myself is when I get to the end of my life , right , what do I want it to look like ? And I think , in seeing my grandmother , right , having her loved ones around her right , having people pray by her bedside , you know , having people who knew , oh , this is , you know , her favorite prayer , right but then also I think it just really had me look at , there were a lot of ways where I think I was very scared and kept saying , you know , oh , I'll put it off , right , oh , I'll put it off , I'll do that later . And I just kind of felt like I don't want to , I don't want to do that anymore , yeah , um and uh , cause you know I I've dealt with things , you know , like anxiety and depression and just being a little fearful , um , and so that in , in its own way , kind of opened me up to like I think I want to start doing the things I've been saying I was going to do but kept putting off , and so with that I had , I think , as I mentioned earlier , like my mom had introduced me to yoga as a young child and I'd done it on and off . But I was like mom , I think I want to get my yoga teacher certification .
Catherine MillerAnd maybe a month or not , maybe , maybe , maybe it was actually like a month later , I remember I walked into my mom's , my parents , bedroom and my mom said I think I found the perfect program for you and the deadline was approaching , like I think the deadline was in a couple of weeks , and so I scrounged , you know know , to fill out the application . It happened to be through the . I did my training through the Kripalu Center , but they were doing an off-site training at a studio that was like a 15 , 20-minute drive from my parents' house , okay , and it just felt like one of those moments where everything aligned so perfectly . Like I don't believe in coincidences , but it felt like everything just aligned so perfectly . It came at the exact right time and so I completed my training a couple months before they told me I had a brain tumor , right , and I also don't think that that was a coincidence because I had .
Catherine MillerIt was like I'd kind of had all of these new things I could add into my toolbox , right , my mom and I had already talked a lot about nutrition and I one of the other things I was actually going to do was apply for my nutrition program , but I had , like , maybe just missed the deadline , and around that time was when I got I found out I had a brain tumor , right . So it was like all of these things were starting to like the timing was starting to fall into place . Um , and yeah , so , and and then you know , as you had talked about , you know , with Reiki , well , I don't , I don't know if you want to ask the question , but even like that , the timing of that happened , and I don't find that to be a coincidence either .
Alethea FeltonSo yeah , so , so , yes , you , you started this path of holistic healing , but the the question for you is what compelled you to say , while , yes , you wanted to become a yoga practitioner and you later got certified in Reiki , what was it specifically where you came to the point to say I want to help others with this ?
Catherine MillerI think it was . I mean , I really think it was also the surgery , so I think my grandmother's passing , but also the brain surgery in particular I think it was . I remember my when I , when I came home , my mom had me get on a schedule , um , and it was just all the ways when I was seeing , like , the things that I had learned I used in my , my healing right , even if I remember one time I did yoga after my surgery just a little bit of movement , it probably . I don't think I did more than 10 or 15 minutes and I feel like I was barely moving because I was just so tired , right , but it got me moving again , right , I knew how to use my breath for certain things . I ate a lot of Indian food , actually , and it helped a lot with the inflammation
Healing Energy and Reiki Practice
Catherine Miller.
Catherine MillerI came in to get the staples removed from my head and my surgeon was like or his team was like you look great , what have you been doing ? But I think what I had still had , this feeling of like a cloud over my head where the tumor had been , and so I had I had Reiki performed on me and it was just so transformative that , yet again , it was like the doctor said , there's like there's nothing wrong . Right , we've done all we could , but someone else could just feel and sense something . You know that there was something else energetically , and I don't know . There was something about it that was like first of all , this is so cool , I have to learn about it . And , as I did my training with my mom , my mom and I did our level one and level two trainings together . I love it . That's what I say . We're like she's .
Catherine MillerShe's my little partner in crime with this stuff or I'm her , you know , or she'll be like , hey , come try this with me , and I'm like , okay , um , I just felt like , oh , this could be so helpful to so many people . Um , and my parents have always been people who've been about service . They were like for everything and I just thought I had . I had a much easier experience than a lot of people do Right , it does not take away from what I experienced .
Catherine MillerWhat if I were to use this to give back to other people ? You know , like I said , it makes what you went through more special and it kind of it gave me more of a purpose , because I actually went back to the hospital where I'd had my surgery at and was doing Reiki , not just with patients who'd had brain tumors , but all across the hospital for patients , for their , for their family members , for medical staff , you know , and it really made such a difference , like we . We helped so much with things like pain , you know , treated like thousands I think it was over 8,000 patients over a span of like 15 years , granted , so I came in later on in the program , but they were able to help decrease pain without medication . Also , you know , with things around like anxiety , depression , grief . So we kind of came in as like a de-escalation team and there were other volunteers as well .
Catherine MillerBut it was just such a fulfilling experience because I would come , you know , after a long day at the office and sometimes , you know , my mind would say , oh , I would so much rather go home and , you know , lay on my couch and binge , watch a show , but then you'd encounter someone right who may have been having one of the worst days in their life , and to be able to help them sleep right , or to be able to help , you know , maybe , a mom who , a pregnant you know mom who , um , you know , was maybe having a difficult pregnancy , right , and to bring her even you know , 10 minutes of of relief or relaxation .
Catherine MillerOr I was also working with the med psych unit and , um , one of the greatest thing , like greatest compliments I ever got even if the person didn't uh mean for it to be a compliment was , you know , they said that they uh had lived on the street most of their lives . They were , they were homeless , homeless individual , and so when you're out on the street , you kind of , you know , are very suspicious of a lot of people , I'm sure , right For safety reasons , and they said that they weren't sure how they were going to feel about , you know , receiving Reiki , but they just said that they felt comfortable , they felt safe , they felt like they could let their guard down .
Catherine MillerAnd I just thought oh my goodness , how beautiful .
Alethea FeltonSo . So let me ask you this , and goodness knows , we could have a whole episode on Reiki itself , but give us the 32nd definition for anybody who might not know . Definition for anybody who might not know . People are familiar with yoga for the most part , but Reiki , yes , I know that they could Google it , but I want to do my part as the host For a person that may have heard of the term Reiki R-E-I-K-I or never heard of it . Could you just give us a very brief definition or explanation of what exactly Reiki is , because it's becoming more and more popular now in Western society , although it's been out forever ?
Catherine MillerIt has been around for a long time and energy practices as a whole have been out for a long time , um , but it it comes from japan and it means universal life force energy .
Catherine MillerSo I like to explain , um you know , to when I teach classes , like when I teach reiki classes , um , people , people who are familiar with yoga , right , the term for that life force energy is prana or if you're familiar with acupuncture , right , people talk about their chi . So just kind of if that makes it a little more relatable . But it is this very safe gentle , like a non-intrusive healing technique that we can , you know , you can use for yourself , you can use on other people , even plants and animals . It can people have used it on their plants and they sometimes can do better . But it's really good about helping to balance and heal and harmonize the body , mind , emotions and spirit .
Catherine MillerSo it's not just physical .
Catherine MillerIt initially had more of like a spiritual purposes , but it works on all these different levels of our being right and we are not just one , you know , we're not just our physical self right and a lot of times , even if something may be hurting one part of our body , right , we are still this whole unit and so the body is going to compensate in all these different ways and Reiki can help with that .
Catherine MillerSo I will say most people oftentimes feel , in my experience feel like a sense of relaxation or maybe if they're in pain , it can help with pain relief . But it can also help with other things like just feeling a sense of wholeness , better well-being , even encouraging things like better self-awareness , which can also help with things like intuition , spiritual development or personal growth . But I think especially along the lines when I said self-awareness , you know , as I talked about earlier , right , like I felt like my body and I were at odds , like we were two different entities , and now I feel like my body talks to me all the time . I feel very , you know , much more self-aware and kind of sometimes understanding or just getting those cues . And so sometimes with Reiki people might start to kind of have a better understanding maybe of what is going on .
Catherine MillerPeople also have other experiences too , but I would say those tend to be some of the most common ones .
Alethea FeltonThank you . Thank you so much for that , and while a lot of this interview really was to focus on your journey of really overcoming a lot , of obstacles . As we start to bring this to a close , I don't want to end it without you sharing the fact that you are a full-time entrepreneur with your own business in this arena of healing . So if a person wanted to get services from you or learn more about what you do , tell us just a little bit about that and how they can connect with you .
Catherine MillerSure , yeah , so I do so specifically as it relates to Reiki . So I work at a studio . It's started by Mara Benner , so she actually it's her studio , but I work with her doing Reiki services . It's called Four Directions Wellness , so F-O-U-R Directions Wellness . We're based in Northern Virginia but we have virtual Reiki . We have in-person and virtual Reiki classes , so level one , level two and Reiki master and I also work with clients , so one-on-one Reiki sessions with clients . These can be done actually in person or virtually as well . Reiki can be done from a distance .
Alethea FeltonI never knew that . Yeah , a lot of people virtually it can be .
Catherine MillerA lot of people , I will say , are skeptical of it because you know they are like how does it work ? It does , but a lot , you know , a lot of people do prefer in person , which is fine too . And so with level one , you know , we kind of we introduce people to this practice . They work a lot on themselves so they do a self-care practice using Reiki , learn about the history right , learn how to work on other individuals . And then , in Reiki too , we just delve a little bit deeper into you know how this would look as as a professional right , as you kind of , if you want to take on this role as a professional Reiki practitioner , just kind of again delving deeper into these practices , ways to use Reiki , and then Reiki master training goes even further into that , you know , with , again , different applications , tapping a lot more into your intuition , because Reiki can help to strengthen your intuition , and then you also learn some .
Catherine MillerYou know things like how to teach Reiki right , help to strengthen your intuition , and then you also learn some . You know things like how to teach Reiki right , how to kind of take on this same role . But it is probably one of my favorite things to do I ? Just to just see all the different ways that you can help someone and at the same time right , I think , especially in our society , right , we're often told you know , oh , you have to do , you have to do all this stuff and Reiki kind of helps us to come back to you can also just be right and and you can receive this whatever it is Right and it can help you become more fully yourself . But , yes , so Four Directions Wellness you can find us online at fourdirectionswellnesscom , you know from there , if you want to reach out via email , right , we can answer questions , we have a free consultation and then on Instagram , it's the number four .
Alethea FeltonSo the number four directions wellness , but definitely check out our website If you have any further questions for me
Overcoming Challenges Through Inner Strength
Alethea Felton. You know I'll get a message and have definitely especially with all of the challenges that you faced and you've overcome that you would give someone who is currently struggling either with chronic health challenges or just life adversity . What would you tell them to do in order to start to begin to cultivate more of their own inner strength ?
Catherine MillerOh , man , oh , that is such a good question . Well , one thing that comes to mind and I spoke to it earlier is , you know , leaning on your community . I know it sounds , you know , because you asked about within themselves .
Catherine MillerBut especially when you are going through it , everything can just feel so much harder . Ask for help , right . Like the people in your life who really love you and care for you , they will show up for you . And I was afraid to do that right , especially with my brain tumor . I was afraid to do that at first because I was so afraid . Right , I'd be told oh , you know , you're going to have to stop doing all this stuff , but it just makes life a little bit easier and it it creates that space for you to then figure out right .
Catherine MillerOkay , what are the tools that I can use to help center me , to help ground me ? Right ? I um , because I've done so many different things . Right , some days , what I need is to do some yoga . Right , I need to move my body . Other days , what I need to do is I need to call a friend . Or I need to call my mom . Right , and just talk to someone . Right , just hear a loving voice . Other days , I need to sit on my couch and binge , watch a show . Right , or read a book . Some days , I need to just be in prayer . Right , we have all these different things and figuring out those ones that really work for us is so important .
Catherine MillerBut sometimes , when we are really in the thick of it , it can seem so overwhelming right to even do one of those things . So ask for help , lean on your community . You know they will really come to support you . And then , when you feel those moments of ease again this is just from my experience then use that to kind of tap into okay , what helps me most in this moment . You do not have to get it right , and it is a lifelong journey to figure out whatever all these things are right . So don't feel like , oh , I have to know it all today . You don't Also give yourself grace .
Catherine MillerI think probably the third thing . Give yourself grace , because being hard on ourselves is not going to make it any easier either . Be very gracious with yourself , be very loving with yourself . Just as you would a small child , just as you would your best friend , right , a person that you love , give them . Give yourself that same amount of grace and love and compassion as you're going through it . It to me , it , just it , even if it makes it 1% easier . Just it makes it 1% easier , just it makes it 1% easier , and that can make all the difference , especially on the hardest days .
Alethea FeltonExactly , and I said that was the closing question , but this one definitely because it sparks one last question . Catherine , if you had the chance looking at all that you've experienced so far in life the good , the bad , the ugly but , honey , you've come out on top and I know and believe that you're going to continue coming out on top . But if you could say anything to your grandmother about something that she gave you , if you could just have 30 seconds to talk to your grandma , what would you say to her ?
Catherine MillerOh , okay , and for those who are not watching me , I just started to cry . Oh boy , I miss you so much and thank you for always praying for me . Yeah , there have definitely been times where I think I have felt like somebody's prayers are certainly at work .
Catherine MillerAnd I am very much convinced that it's both of my grandmothers and my mothers . But sometimes where life did just I don't know , it just feels like someone is praying and she and my grandfather , I don't know . It just feels like someone is praying . She and my grandfather like were very avid , like not avid , I don't think , regularly brain , I know , like all my grandparents did , but I just feel like , in particular , she had . I will always remember her very calming , loving voice , even when I messed up as a kid .
Alethea FeltonUm , so , yeah , so and I guess also with that . Thank you so , and I man , that's a question . I'm a mess , but but I was going one of two ways and I intentionally did that because I think it's so important , even with the tears and viewers and listeners alike . You know , there's a saying that I learned when I was in grief counseling and it says we grieve because we've loved grief counseling and it says we grieve because we've loved and it was one of the most beautiful statements . But also just you , catherine , being a woman of faith , and I too , I think that your response was so timely because I believe personally . Because I believe personally , and even with what we're taught in our faith about how prayers can last for generations , it just doesn't stop that the prayers carry over . I believe that , and whether people watching or listening believe in prayer or not , that's up to them .
Alethea FeltonBut I do think that your story is quite incredible and even if a person isn't a person of faith , they are going to walk away with something that you said today that can give them hope in the fact that your grandmother , her prayers , have covered you even to this day is quite remarkable . I want you to continue to tell your story , never stop sharing it , no matter how old you get . There may come a point where you think that maybe you're telling your story too much . It doesn't matter , and keep sharing it because it's not a matter of the fact that you gave up . No , it was the opposite .
Alethea FeltonIn this world in day and age nowadays , there's so much that could cause a person to just give up . But I want to use this show and this platform to show people that everybody has a story everybody and that everybody's life , no matter how low you think you've gotten , everybody's life is worth it , and yours , catherine Miller , is certainly worth it . And I am honored to have met such an incredible soul like you and I speak abundance , prosperity , good health , longevity , joy throughout your entire life . And it was my honor , my absolute honor , to have you as a guest on the Power Transformation Podcast . Thank you from the bottom of my heart .
Catherine MillerThank you . Thank you . This has been a beautiful conversation . Like um , I also . I also cry when things are really beautiful , so that's the other thing too . So thank you for for bringing this out . Thank you for these beautiful questions . Thank you for holding this space , not just for me , but also for all the listeners . I really appreciate it . Thank you so much .
Alethea FeltonIf you enjoyed today's show , then you don't want to miss an episode , so follow the Power Transformation Podcast on Apple Podcasts , spotify or wherever you usually listen , and remember to rate and review . I also invite you to connect with me on social media at Alethea Felton . That's at A-L-E-T-H-E-A-F-E-L-T-O-N . Until next time , remember to be good to yourself and to others .