The Power Transformation Podcast

93. BEST OF EPISODE - Loss, Growth, & Transition with Arifay Joyner

• Alethea Felton • Season 2 • Episode 93

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In this "BEST OF" episode, my longtime friend Arifay Joyner shares her inspiring journey of rediscovery, renewal, and hope during a challenging period marked by multiple devastating events. Launched originally in Season 1, Episode 32, our conversation highlights the importance of embracing new beginnings, letting go of attachments, and finding creative solutions during life's toughest transitions. Join us to discover how Arifay transformed her pain and loss into an opportunity for growth, change, and a brighter future.

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Alethea Felton:

Every now and then, I like to do what I consider a best of episode for the Power Transformation podcast. Podcasters do best of episodes for a variety of reasons, but for me, it's so that you can be exposed to, perhaps episodes that you haven't heard before and that you can glean or take away something that you can apply for your own life, even if it's a past episode. Also, best of episodes are a great way for content to not only stay relevant, but it's a good way for a podcaster to take a break or regroup or do podcast editing or work on other projects while not losing traction or momentum on their shows. So in this case, with it being close to the end of summer, I wanted to share with you this episode from someone that I interviewed last June of 2023 by the name of Arifay Joyner.

Alethea Felton:

Arifay is a person that I am so honored to say is a friend. I don't use that word lightly either. I've known Arifay ever since childhood. We graduated high school together. But Arifay has had such a remarkable life, and in this particular episode, you're going to hear about how, at one point, everything seemed to be falling apart in her life, and yet Arifay did not let that hinder her, but instead she used that as the fuel and the catalyst to get her to where she is now in her life. This episode is all about gratitude, resilience and unwavering belief. So stay tuned for this best of episode from Arifay Joyner. This guest is something serious. All of my guests have been, but I have the one, Arifay Joyner only Joyner on the Power Transformation Podcast. She goes by other names as well. She is definitely one of the most dynamic human beings that I know, and what she has to say today is going to help your

Arifay Joyner:

Thank you. Thank you so much for the wonderful introduction. Thank you for having me.

Alethea Felton:

Girl, yes, I'm so happy to have you up here and y'all. I'm just going to put it up front here Arifay and I go way back to childhood. We actually went to the same high school, graduated together, but the irony of it is we were always cordial, but Arifay and I did not start a friendship until we were adults. So we had mutual friends but we didn't actually hang out or even have classes or really converse with each other back in school. And it goes to show you for any teenagers listening, y'all, don't get caught up in the high school drama or who knows who or what, because it's really not until you are grown when you actually form a lot of those longer lasting bonds. So I'm just saying but anyway, Arifay, let's go ahead and jump right on into this. I want to ask you a question first, just to get started. This is the question totally random, but if you could have dinner with anybody in history, dead or alive, who would it be and why? Ooh Okay.

Arifay Joyner:

You know, I was going to throw that at you. I did not. So I'm going to say and this is totally random I'm going to say Donny Hathaway.

Alethea Felton:

Ooh, Donny Hathaway, tell us why. Why?

Arifay Joyner:

Donny Hathaway is actually one of my favorite artists. A lot of his music has just spoken to me on just so many different levels, right, and I and I, I guess, in that conversation, I would just want to pick his brain just to understand, like, what space was he in when he, you know, created some of those songs? Um, I think that you know, just in general, music is one of those tools where, um, you know, it's an expressive tool, right? So a lot of people use the lyrics and you know the undertones of the actual instrumentation to tell a song itself. So I would want to understand, like, what song, what story are you looking to tell with this that?

Alethea Felton:

is absolutely powerful and I never shared this with you, but there's a personal connection in terms of my family with Donnie Hathaway, layla Hathaway. That's really, really amazing and we'll talk offline with that. But it's just crazy how life comes full circle out of all people. That's who you would say. So I'll definitely have to share that with you, um, offline. Yes, audience keeping y'all in mystery like huh, but if we talked about that it would be forever. But he's definitely a legendary musician. And Arifay, what the audience um does not know but are about to know is that you two are a musician.

Arifay Joyner:

Tell us about that Okay, so always been a you know, love of music. Music, literally, is my vibe right. It gets me going. I started songwriting, actually back in high school. Prior to, I would always listen to songs, you know, write down the lyrics, memorize it. You know, regurgitate the lyrics over songs. But then I started writing my own songs, right, and participated in a talent show. Yes, chesapeake, virginia, india.

Alethea Felton:

River High. That's right Back in the nineties and that was really like my first.

Arifay Joyner:

You know just, I didn't even realize that I guess I could become a songwriter. It was just like, oh, let me, let me write something. And that was the moment that I realized that writing was something that um allowed me to express myself, when I felt like I guess I couldn't necessarily do it verbally, mm-hmm, so yeah.

Alethea Felton:

And where does the inspiration for your music come from? Does it come from your experiences? Does it come from everyday life? Where do you find that passion for your songwriting? What inspires you?

Arifay Joyner:

I would say all the above. I literally use music as the fuel right To get me through my day to day. I could be sitting on the water and hear you know a certain cadence of the ocean, and that would spark you know a level of creativity in my mind and I may come up with a lyric, or I may come up with the melody or something like that. So for me it's this like I, I literally hear music all the time from the fan blowing and you know just hearing little imperfections in those sounds. But I hear rhythm, the rhythm right, and it's usually stuff that other people don't hear. So, um, I think that's kind of like that creative side where you tend to connect with things outside of the norm and turn it into art.

Alethea Felton:

So yeah, Now, you did mention our high school, which is Indian River High School, which is in Chesapeake, Virginia. An audience for you all that may not be exactly sure where Chesapeake is. It is considered Tidewater or Hampton Roads, part of Virginia. That's Southeastern Virginia, the 757. But in that area you have Norfolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Virginia Beach, Suffolk, Hampton, Newport, News pretty much are what we call those seven cities and we're literally in terms of where we grew up, it's literally by the ocean and it's literally on the North Carolina line.

Alethea Felton:

So we tend to kind of joke at times and say we are from the real South, we are from the real Virginia, because Virginia as a Commonwealth note, I did not say state, but as a Commonwealth it has totally different cultures depending on where you are. Northern VA is different from Richmond. Richmond is different from Southeastern VA. Where we're from, Western is different. I'm naming all these geographical places because Erefe has recently experienced a major transition in her life where she took a bold move at the point in the place she is in life to literally shift Arifay. Please tell us where you are currently located geographically.

Arifay Joyner:

Right. I am currently down in the bayou, down here in New Orleans, louisiana, the deep south right, one of my favorite places.

Alethea Felton:

Oh, I love New Orleans yes, who doesn't love New Orleans the place of creativeness.

Arifay Joyner:

So I love it. So, yeah, I took that move, took that transition. Um, some would say it was pretty abrupt, but it's a necessary transition. Um that aligned with, just you know, the shift in my life overall.

Alethea Felton:

But also part of that is something that I know that you shared with me over the course of our friendship. But I'm big on the ancestors, and you and I both are spiritual people believing in the power of God, but also believing in the power of the blood that runs through our veins, so share a little bit about yes, it was a random move, but it's deeper than that. Why is that area so special to you?

Arifay Joyner:

Okay, so this is actually the area where my mother grew up. My mother was born and raised here. Actually, shortly after I was born, my mother came here to visit. I had my first solid foods here. I've been coming back and forth ever since I was a young child, so New Orleans has always been my home away from home and my home today. There's so many different things outside of just you know, with family, but a lot of the things that I love are very popular here, like I'm big on art, right, culinary arts, music arts, visual arts and it's literally a hub here. So, just you know, being able to live here now, I feel like I'm surrounded by all of the things that I love.

Arifay Joyner:

And I think that is very important with you know, with this transition, just to help continue to just leave the area with which you were familiar, and to just leave and to shift.

Alethea Felton:

But there's a bigger purpose and a bigger meaning behind that transition and a lot of it stems from while you are in such a new, amazing, wonderful space. Getting there did not necessarily come easy and you experienced much loss, many lessons over that road. So, Arifay, kind of backtrack, and take us somewhere, because it might be somebody out there who is going through a transition, going through a shifting, maybe not quite sure where their feet are going to land, and they may be in quite a tough time right now with no hope in sight. Let's start to shift now and speak a little bit about this connection between grief, or loss, and transition, and grief in this essence. I'm not necessarily talking about a human being dying. A couple of shows back I talked about grief in terms of a person passing away, but let's talk about some of the losses that you experience that have actually turned into incredible gains and wins. Take us anywhere you'd like to go with that.

Arifay Joyner:

Ooh, okay, I'll start. Let's start with the job. Let's start with the career. I was on my career, you know, at the time, 21 years connected to the, the government. I worked in the naval ship repair industry and um started off as an apprentice electrician, you know, worked my way up through management, um last position held engineering tech, and I was doing a lot of a lot of different things.

Arifay Joyner:

Right, I learned a lot of different things along the way, but I wasn't happy, right, I was trying to make the best out of the situation and the more I tried to do that, the more I could, you know, just suffer. I literally felt like I was suffering and towards the end of that particular season, you know, it became more and more apparent that that was not where I was supposed to be. So I started to experience, you know, just different different feelings about, you know, whether or not I was making the right decision. You know I didn't want to leave the job because I had so much time invested there, but I didn't feel like I was supposed to be there. So I really struggled with that, you know, just trying to figure out, like, what does that next step look like? How do I detach from that Right.

Arifay Joyner:

Sometimes I guess it is kind of an attachment for me. It felt like something that I had invested so much of my energy into. I just could not let it go. I literally looked at it as man I'm losing all of the stuff that I poured into it. But I just didn't have, I guess, at the time, the insight of hey, you know, as they say, when one door closes, another door opens, right. So I struggled with that, emotionally, mentally, physically, I mean literally got to the point where I was crying going into work because I was literally crying, like I would pull up to the parking lot and break down.

Arifay Joyner:

I was just like I can't do this, I can't do this anymore, and that's something that you know a lot of people just they really don't know like how much I internalize going through that and I prayed, you know, I literally asked God to remove me from that situation by any means necessary. I felt like I couldn't do it on my own and then I started to see almost an immediate shift. Right, Nothing was going as planned. Right, each day became more and more of a challenge. Physically, it was like, ok, I'm literally struggled just going in there. And then it got to where you know, one day I was there and I just kind of broke down.

Arifay Joyner:

It was like my mind was not in that place. I was literally like in this vulnerable state to where I didn't know whether I was coming or going, vulnerable state to where I didn't know whether I was coming or going, and I left, long story short. I left, went to the hospital. They, like you know, blood pressure is super high, pre-stroke symptoms. You know you can't go back, you need to take some time off. So I was literally forced into a situation where I had to shift out of that Right. That was at a time period where I was taking care of my mother and at the time we did not know what was going on with my mom.

Arifay Joyner:

She was experiencing, you know, loss of some physical capabilities and literally, I want to say a couple of weeks, probably about two weeks prior to my last day on the job, my mom was diagnosed with ALS um, which is a motor neuron uh condition.

Alethea Felton:

And now, is that Lou Gehrig's disease, or is that different?

Arifay Joyner:

Yes, lou.

Alethea Felton:

Gehrig's disease. Wow, so you're going through all of this pressure at work and just knowing this isn't the fit for you. Then, on a personal front, experiencing more stress and having to shift into a new normal with your mother.

Arifay Joyner:

Yes.

Alethea Felton:

Whoa.

Arifay Joyner:

It was literally. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was just kind of existing right and at any moment. I was going to hit that breaking point and I did right and it got to where I struggled with getting out of the bed, let alone getting out of the house right, and that was a period that was.

Alethea Felton:

It was a tough transition.

Arifay Joyner:

Know that was a period that was. It was a tough transition. However, it was a necessary transition. Now. I know, because it literally it was like I had to be purged of the things that did not belong in my life.

Alethea Felton:

Pause right there, pause, right there, hold on. When you said that you hit that breaking point and you couldn't get to a point of even getting up out of bed, I know it was a slow build, but what was that straw that broke the camel's back?

Arifay Joyner:

It was literally. I felt like my mind was just racing Right. There's so many you know I'm trying to make decisions on things that I just I didn't see the answer for right. I really didn't know how to one leave that one situation. Hey, what am I going to do with my mom? You know, what does this, this diagnosis, really mean, right? And when my mom received her diagnosis, we were pretty much told she didn't have long to live. So all of these things are just kind of at the forefront of my mind and it was just overwhelming and when was this approximately?

Alethea Felton:

in terms of a year this?

Arifay Joyner:

was February. She got her diagnosis February 26th of 2018.

Alethea Felton:

So it's been five years, five years and she's still here.

Arifay Joyner:

She's still here. She's still here, oh my gosh, she's still here.

Alethea Felton:

So how involved. So, while she got the diagnosis and you're dealing with work and everything, how involved were you, though, with your mom's actual care?

Arifay Joyner:

Yeah, I was her primary caregiver, so every day you know, literally, from bathing to feeding, um, initially she, you know, she was walking, but just, you know, with assistance. But she lost a lot of her capabilities, a lot of her abilities early on. So she went from walking to, you know, being in a wheelchair to being bedridden in a matter of months. She lost her vocal ability, so she, you know, required a communicative device to actually help her speak. Communicative device to actually help her speak. So it was.

Arifay Joyner:

It was just so many things that happened in that short period of time and I almost didn't have time to think about what I was going to do. I just had to do right, meanwhile, I'm losing. I feel like I'm just kind of losing myself, right, losing literally, yeah, everything that I, you know was had been normalized in my life. Right, I'm losing literally, yeah, everything that I, you know, was, um, had been normalized in my life right, from a social aspect, or, you know, just doing all the things that I like to do. All of that came, literally, came to a stop.

Alethea Felton:

So when it came to a stop, Arifay, did you? Although you were taking care of your mom, you had shifted from that job that was just weighing you down. Now you're taking care of your mom. How did you get back to self? Did you get therapy? So did you get therapy? Did someone tell you look boo, you got to take care of you. What happened? How did you get there? Because somebody listening might be at that point where they're like I don't know who I am or what's going on, or if I'm coming or going. So how did you get back to self? I mean, you've just made a move. You are looking amazing, you look vibrant from what I see. Of course, this is audio, but the whole point is that you don't look like what you've been through, girl. So how did you reclaim that from losing?

Arifay Joyner:

you? Yeah, it was actually and, if I may backtrack just a little bit yeah go ahead. Probably about a year and a half prior I started therapy right. And it was. I felt like I was at a state, a robotic state, right, I was just going going, going, going, literally just existing, but I felt like it was only a matter of time before this crash and burn happened.

Alethea Felton:

Right, so I'm trying to get in front of it.

Arifay Joyner:

I really don't know what to do. One of my siblings said hey, you know, you should consider, you know, talking to a therapist. I said, ok, at this point I had no other answers. So I went online, looked up a therapist. Other answers so I, um I went online, looked up a therapist and that that was, single-handedly one of the best decisions that I made. That literally was a life-saving decision. Um, I at the time, like I said, this was prior to um, you know the challenges with the job and with my mom um, I was still at a very high stress state, you know because, of work and during those sessions, we literally just started unpacking things that I didn't even know was having a lasting impact on me, right.

Arifay Joyner:

So, you know, that was kind of like the beginning stage of just doing some, you know, some self-evaluating and just looking at, you know, my life as a whole and kind of getting a better understanding of the whys of things over the years, right, even as it relates to decision-making, right, I realized that I really had an attachment to a lot of things, so, in order for me to move forward, I had to lose some.

Arifay Joyner:

So to to bring that back to where, um, you know that 2018 time period um, I re-engaged in therapy and that was like literally the step that was the only thing that was able to help bring me out of that state. Wow, Very depressive state, I didn't know it. I was dealing with anxiety, uh, lots of things, and just didn't know, didn't know it. I was dealing with anxiety, uh, lots of things, and just didn't know, didn't know what to do. So that that definitely helped me, um, getting back in therapy and really, you know, just kind of addressing all of the things, and I will say that's. I recommend that to anybody that, um, actually, let me not just say anybody that's facing any kind of adversity.

Alethea Felton:

Anybody, anybody. Let's just say that, let's just say that Girl?

Arifay Joyner:

yes, If you go to the dentist, right? Yes, With your regular checkup of other aspects of your body, the one part of your body that literally controls everything often has the most neglect, Right?

Alethea Felton:

So, and that is the one thing that I will say across the world, you know we struggle with our, our emotional state right, that's right, that is so we, but we neglect that because our brain is an organ and people have to remember that if our heart is in pain, we either have gas or we having a heart attack. So we know that we need to get checked out.

Arifay Joyner:

But society does not think about the brain as an organ yeah, yeah, and when you think about it like, um, with the brain, there's so much for me, it was like I had so much going on in my brain. Right and literally, I was at the max capacity, so I had to release. I had to release, I had to lose those things that you know was occupying space, you know valuable space, so that I could receive it was on just overdrive in a way. Overdrive overcrowded, just so much.

Alethea Felton:

And then real quick because I think I may have misunderstood and just hearing a comment you made a few minutes ago, you were caring for your mom and still working at the exact same time, or did you take off time from work? So I was caring?

Arifay Joyner:

for her while I was still working so I was very good working girl job, um, but in the early stage she still had her mobility. You know she's at home. You know, when I wasn't there, my dad was there, so she wasn't at the point where she required that full-time care, so it was more of a you know, kind of an assistant. She's losing certain things.

Alethea Felton:

Okay, and it gradually progressed to needing that. Full-time care, yes, but even then were you still working?

Arifay Joyner:

time care? Yes, but even then, were you still working? Yes, I was working up until about two weeks after her diagnosis. Oh my gosh At that time, because she had lost so much. You know, it was just too much. It was too much. I had to get something off my plate. I had to make room, right, make room so that you can create a space to be able to do other things. So for me, I could not work. Work was already a challenge, right, but I was trying to figure out how to continue to do that and do this and it just, it was just too much.

Alethea Felton:

Let me ask you this, though, because I know how close you are with your mom, and despite her physical ailment, this is a question that I really want to ask you Arifay is your mother. Despite her physical condition, her mental function is still there, and therefore my question to you is what lessons, even if your mom couldn't always speak them to you what lessons did your mother teach you about finding yourself again, Because mamas know their babies, they know their babies and what did she teach you, or how has she contributed to you redefining and reinventing yourself?

Arifay Joyner:

oh, I will say, even if I'm just to let me just use this one time period, right, go ahead From the time of her onset, right. So, even now, she lost so much of what she was used to and, right, she was used to walking unassisted, she was used to communicating unassisted. However, she found another way to still be able to do it, right. So, in spite of the things that she lost, there were still things that she gained, right, and that's something that she and I would joke about. Right, while I would care for her, I, you know, I had to get real creative. Right, because she literally lost her independence as she knew it right. So it's like how do we get that back? So we got creative. Right, we turned her room into a smart room.

Arifay Joyner:

She has this communicative device where she literally types with her eyes and she looks at a button and it speaks. Right, so it gives a command. So you know, popular device out, alexa device, right, yes, we programmed it to where she could control the lights by giving it the command. So she still is able to control her lights, control her music. She could control the TV. She still had that control, right. Um, she would send messages via text. Often, everybody would look forward to her text messages, right, she would send them long, long, long long messages. But a lot of those messages were inspiring, right, she would just give us some words of inspiration. So, in spite of what she was going through, she still figured out a way to communicate that hope and that, single-handedly, helped me kind of restore my faith and realize that you know what I may have lost these things over here. However, there's another way to do it, right. Maybe it's all about the approach.

Alethea Felton:

So definitely some lessons learned what others would say is loss, or even some people may may feel sorrow or pity for her. She was like, uh, I'm going to just find a way to do it differently, yeah, and to give you and others that hope. That is, oh girl.

Arifay Joyner:

We you know what the joke that we had? I would address her as the queen of Algiers. Algiers is an area of new Orleans. Yeah, and I would come into her room. I would treat her as royalty, that she is Right. So, okay, madam, I'm here to bathe you today. I'm like this is your time to rest, so kind of shifted to where she's aspect just went. It went from oh my gosh, this is as you say. Some people feel like it's a pity party or oh, it's so bad.

Arifay Joyner:

But, no, my mother. She took care. She had four children and all of the extended children right From Indian River, all of the athletes, my sisters and my brother's friends and stuff like that. My mom's always taking care of people and I said you know what, ma, this is your time to be taken care of. So maybe this was what needed to happen for you to be taken care of, to slow down, to take that break be taken care of, to slow down, to take that break.

Alethea Felton:

A wife, a mother, grandmother, an aunt, a sister, daughter oh my gosh, just so much. A friend, what an amazing woman. And so, from those lessons that your mom taught you, specifically in her time of need, and just the miracle of her still being here, although they say she didn't have very long, god has the final say so. You then shifted to a new career and you also shared with me that you had to let go of certain attachments. So we don't have a lot of time left on this interview today, but can you talk a little bit about what you meant when you told me offline that once you started healing, that you had to release certain attachments? What does that mean? And can you also speak directly to someone who may be going through a similar season of loss and transition but might not know how to let go of certain things that they need to let go of?

Arifay Joyner:

Yeah, yeah, um, I lost a lot of physical things. I lost some you know people, lost some friendship, um, you know, lost some people from this earth. You know um, stuff. You know I lost stuff, right, um, anything that has, you know, has any kind of value to you, um, when you lose it, it has an impact, right.

Arifay Joyner:

So, um, for me, the you know the loss, or what appeared to be a bad loss, right, it was really um, um, an opportunity for me to detach to allow for other things to happen in my life. So, sometimes you have to. You know, we talk about spring cleaning, right, you, you pull everything out. Right, what do you do? You pull everything out, you cleanse it. That's right. And then you come back with the fresh perspective, right, right, so if you apply that to life, right, you look at, hey, sometimes a loss isn't necessarily forever, right, it may be a temporary situation, it may be a boundary that just needed to happen, right, Sometimes we allow certain things and people to stay on the wrong side of the boundary, right, or, if there is a boundary, sometimes it's about establishing a boundary. That was something.

Arifay Joyner:

I literally didn't have. Any boundaries, I mean. For the most part, I allow people and things to occupy a space in my life that was not conducive for the things that I needed to do for self. So, with that being said, it was necessary to make the transition, to create distance healthy distance from friends, family, career decisions, social things. Not that it's a bad thing, but in order to create the space that was needed for my growth, I had to go through, you know, those periods of loss. I look at it as a cleansing period. So, these cleansing periods and I'm in it right now, right, I'm in it right now this transition, this move, definitely allowed me to, I would say, eliminate a lot of distractions. Not that they were bad distractions, but they were distractions, right, anything that's occupying your time and you want to use that time for something else. It's kind of, you know, you're kind of juggling, um, we only have so many hours in the day.

Arifay Joyner:

So, um, making that transition and creating that distance is necessary for the immediate expansion that I needed, um, as well as the things that are coming ahead because it's so it's so many things that have opened up for me just from this move, even just a level of creativity, and it all boiled down to just being able to be in a space to where I could focus on self and not have to be focused on so many other things outside of self.

Alethea Felton:

What would you say to somebody who is in a, a transitionary period, but may still be experiencing loss, or even maybe haven't even started their own healing journey? Maybe they have, but they may not know which direction to go. They may not even know what's next for them. What would you say directly to that person?

Arifay Joyner:

I would say try not to get so caught up into trying to figure out exactly what needs to happen next. Right, just know that something needs to happen. Right, change needs to happen. Right, just like as the seasons change and we go through these cycles right Through the spring, summer, fall, winter, what happens? Things die off and guess what? They re-bloom. It's a cycle, right? Our lives happen in cycles. So I would say, try not to get so caught up in the what's and you know, having the final answer. The way this world is, you can't control everything that happens, but you can control how you allow it to impact you.

Arifay Joyner:

So if you look at it as okay. Whatever that next step looks like, I just know I have to do Whatever that do looks like for you.

Alethea Felton:

you just have to do it and be willing to embrace the change that comes along with it. To the former Erephae, to the overwhelmed Erephae, to the Erephae whose mind was cluttered and racing, what would this version of Erephae say to her?

Arifay Joyner:

Slow down Breathe, Step away, Come back to it.

Alethea Felton:

Repeat Slow down breathe create a little distance, right, okay, just take that moment, exhale, reapproach it.

Arifay Joyner:

What brings you the most joy about this transition that you're in and have made so far. I love myself, yes.

Alethea Felton:

Me and me.

Arifay Joyner:

We're having a good old time here doing much of nothing, girl, I did not realize that relaxing and just exploring self could be such a joyous thing. Like I mean, I don't even watch TV. I have a TV, rarely watch it. I listen to music a lot of times, instrumentals or binaural sounds, you know things that are, uh, helping with. You know sleep or mood. Um, I'm really focusing on my self role and that comes with internalizing. You know the things that I've internalized, like releasing that and and just um, really paying attention to my body. When my body says no, I listen, immediately it says slow down, I slow down. So, yeah, I can listen a little better without all of the things around me. So, yes, I'm enjoying just being with myself and enjoying myself. It's, it's amazing.

Alethea Felton:

And y'all. I won't give too much away, but just continue listening to this podcast because stay tuned for some things in the future. I won't share exactly what it is, but Arifay and I have had some offline conversations what it is, but Arifay and I have had some offline conversations, so stay tuned as to what will be happening in the near future. The last thing that I want you to do, Arifay, is if a person since there are certain things coming eventually and some things out now how can someone connect with you on social media or follow you or anything like that?

Arifay Joyner:

All right, so you can connect with me via email at connect at hublinksme. At connectathublinksme, so that's connect C-O-N-N-E-C-T. At hublinks, that's H-U-B-L-I-N-Xme, Again connectathublinksme On social media. You can follow me on Instagram at Faye Stizzo Music, that's F-A-Y-S-T-I-Z-Z-O Music.

Alethea Felton:

All one word Again that's at Faye Stizzo Music.

Arifay Joyner:

Where does the stizzle come from? Up upon a time in my early rap career, music career, I was known as the one and only Faye Star. That's right, faye Star two R's. And then, during this transitional period, I somehow transitioned to Faye Stizzo, and Faye Stizzo is different than Faye Starr. Life has been life. Yeah, faye Stizzo is coming with a whole different. All I can say is stay tuned. So yeah, Exactly, exactly.

Alethea Felton:

And I want to close, yeah, and I want to close, yeah, and I want to close with this girl. I am so proud of you. It might seem cliche, but it's the truth. I am so proud of you. I'm so grateful for you in my life. I'm thankful for our friendship. But I also want to let the audience know this woman is such a loving, caring person, caring, human being, in that when we were in high school, as I said, we had mutual friends and we both were the finalists for most talented our senior year of high school, for our senior superlatives. Both of us were. Arifay won that category. It was a close race but Arifay won.

Alethea Felton:

I was cool with it, I didn't think twice about it, it was all good, but Arifay took time. Maybe not on that same day, but possibly that same week, Arifay actually came up to me and, just to kind of put it or paraphrasing, she came to me and she congratulated me for my efforts and my talent and I had lost and I wasn't even upset about it and I wasn't even thinking about it, but it was just her kindness as the winner of that category of most talented, she thought enough about me as the runner up to come to make sure I was okay. She didn't have to do that and that lasted. And this was even before we were friends, we were simply acquaintances. But it's just the fact she took the time to say that to me. That lasted with me my whole life because in high school she and I both were, I guess, what you would consider popular. But we were popular in different realms, different circles. We knew just about everybody, but our talents were different. I did singing and I did theater, she did art, she did rap. I mean she did so much right.

Alethea Felton:

But that has always resonated with me is that your heart and your kindness, even back then, girl, stuck with me over the years and for God to allow us to become sister friends and that people don't even realize, like people that we grew up with, don't even realize how close we are. But I trust you, you trust me and I just thank you for being my sister and I look forward to the day when we can meet the right men for us and get married and everything else and travel. But no, all jokes aside, girl, you are absolutely amazing and I just know that God has so much more in store for your life and I thank you for just being you and continue walking in your purpose, living unapologetically as yourself and just doing what you do. And I love you, girl, I do.

Arifay Joyner:

Thank you for being a guest, thank you, thank you so much. I love you too, and I just want to say thank you for creating this amazing platform.

Arifay Joyner:

It is so much, so much, so much, so much, so much needed, so necessary for a lot of people to be able to have a safe space to endure these golden nuggets Right. It's so that, I will say, has definitely helped me along the way, especially in this transition, and has allowed me to be here today. So thank you for all that you are doing and all the things that you will continue to do. Thank you, much love to you, much love to you also, girl.

Alethea Felton:

If you enjoyed today's show, then you don't want to miss an episode. So follow the Power Transformation podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you usually listen, and remember to rate and review. I also invite you to connect with me on social media at Alethea Felton. That's at A-L-E-T-H-E-A-F-E-L-T-O-N. Until next time, remember to be good to yourself and to others.

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