The Power Transformation Podcast

92. Turning Neurodivergence into a Business Superpower with Stuart Morris

• Alethea Felton • Season 2 • Episode 92

Share episode

Send us a text

What if you discovered that your unique neurological makeup could be your greatest business asset? This - no doubt - is what Stuart Morris, a neurodivergent entrepreneur, esteemed and top-ranked celebrant (officiant), tech inventor, and TEDx speaker did, and in this episode he shares his extraordinary journey from overcoming late-life diagnoses of dyslexia and autism to becoming a CEO and a beacon of resilience and innovation. 

Through intentional living and making deliberate choices, Stuart's journey underscores the power of compassion, the importance of leaving a positive legacy and the power of supporting people in moments of happiness as well as heartache. This heartening conversation aims to inspire you to live passionately, foster empowered connections, and celebrate life's precious moments authentically. 

Connect with Stuart:


Episode 92's Affirmation:
I am empowered to create meaningful connections and celebrate life's precious moments.

Click here to connect with Alethea Felton

CALL TO ACTION:

STEP 1: Subscribe now to The Power Transformation Podcast so you don't miss an episode! New episodes are released every Wednesday and it is on ALL podcast platforms.

STEP 2: Then, leave a rating and write review on Apple Podcasts, and then share with as many people as you know. I absolutely love reading your feedback, and the reviews help others find my podcast.

NOTE: Your feedback helps me be of greater service to you so please subscribe, rate, and review.

Thanks for being a part of The Power Transformation Podcast community!


Alethea Felton:

It is my honor to introduce you to Stuart Morris. Stuart is a neurodivergent dynamo shaping the realms of entrepreneurship, innovation and life's most sacred moments. As a seasoned entrepreneur, tech inventor, tedx speaker and CEO, stuart is literally changing the game in more ways than one, leading the world's top celebrant or efficient training program. Stuart's work goes beyond the boardroom. He brings comfort, dignity and joy to families during life's most pivotal moments, from weddings to times of loss. But Stuart's journey has seen its fair share of challenges, from personal loss to late life, diagnoses of dyslexia and autism. However, like a true alchemist, stuart turns adversity into gold, transforming problems into prosperous ventures, whether he's flying solo across the Atlantic or revolutionizing how we honor life's milestones. Stuart Morris' story reminds us to embrace both the highs and lows that make life worth celebrating, and it is my honor to have him as the guest today on this episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, alethea Felton, and I am so excited to have you join me today. If this is your first time in the Power Transformation Podcast community, I welcome you with open arms. I'm so grateful that you have decided to tune in and just not tune in, guess what else. Go ahead and subscribe, give it a five-star rating and write a review. I definitely value your feedback and I thank you for your continued support.

Alethea Felton:

I want to dive right into this episode. I have an incredible guest today and you heard a little bit about him from the intro, but I want him to speak for himself and that is Stuart Morris. So I always begin this podcast with an affirmation. Those of you who have been with me from the beginning realize the power of these affirmations is that we are speaking things into existence as if they already are, and I encourage all of you who are new to join right in. Even if you're not used to saying affirmations, I guarantee you that the more you say it, the more you believe it and the more you will see things happening in your life and coming to pass. I will say the affirmation once and you repeat it.

Alethea Felton:

I am empowered to create meaningful connections and celebrate life's precious moments. Connections and celebrate life's precious moments. I am so thrilled today to have Stuart Morris here with us on the Power Transformation Podcast. This is going to be a fabulous interview. I have had the pleasure of speaking to him offline even prior to this interview, and I'm just so excited about him sharing his journey with us, what he does and how he is truly a change maker today. So welcome to the Power Transformation Podcast, stuart.

Stuart Morris:

Thank you so much. I'm hoping I can live up to that introduction.

Alethea Felton:

I think that you can. I you know already enjoy the fact that we met a few weeks ago leading up to this, and so I want to jump right into this interview. So I'm sure guests are always like Alethea, what in the world are you going to ask first? So I always do a nice icebreaker question just so that we can get to know you better as a person outside of what we're going to talk about here. So, stewart, this is your icebreaker question who is your favorite fictional superhero and why?

Stuart Morris:

okay, that has to be neo from the matrix oh, tell us more because he just breaks the rules. I just you know. You, you've told me the world is this way. No, it isn't that's right.

Alethea Felton:

That's right he, he thinks for himself, doesn't conform. I love that, and so do you do you see a lot of Neo in you.

Stuart Morris:

That would be presumptive.

Alethea Felton:

Yes, Exactly, okay, all right. So with that being said, stuart, this is a loaded question. You can answer it any way that you like, but who is Stuart Morris, oh?

Stuart Morris:

oh, that's a really terrifyingly complex question and yet very simple. Um, depending on how long have we got? Did you say this was four hours long? Um, so I came.

Stuart Morris:

My childhood was not easy. I'm just gonna say that there's a whole long conversation there and um, so I've struggled pretty much my whole life and that has a whole load of psychological and and physical, uh, impact. I am ADHD, so I get, I need stimulation, I need dopamine. I'm autistic, so that also means, at the same time, sometimes I need stimulation, I need dopamine. I'm autistic, so that also means, at the same time, sometimes I need to withdraw from the world and just hide and quiet and calm.

Stuart Morris:

I'm dyslexic, so at the age of eight I couldn't read and write. So I was that kid at the back of the class bouncing up and down, just not engaging with school, and all of those things combined together with some. You know, when I was 16, I had an accident and pretty much died. In fact I was declared dead, except I wasn't. I was fully conscious when I listened to a doctor tell my parents I was dead, which was not cool, and so ever since then it's kind of been no, I'm going to live life with my foot absolutely hard down on the throttle.

Stuart Morris:

The volume turned up to 11, because once you've been declared dead, it can't get any worse than that and enjoy, and a lot of people believe in a life after death. I believe in living fully before death and I wish more people would focus on the here and now rather than the hereafter. So to a degree I'm quite driven, but mainly it's. You know, we get one life and, at the risk of sounding corny, you live it and you live it well, live it lovingly, live it in a way that benefits other people, live it in a way that leaves a good footprint on the planet, um, and a good footprint on people's hearts indeed that was a complex way of answering your question.

Alethea Felton:

No, but it does make sense and I believe in the here and now and afterlife. But I would have to agree with you that, although I have a belief in the next dimensions after this life, I think it is important to emphasize living fully now and living abundantly and making the best out of every opportunity here on earth. I think it's a tragic state of affairs when some people only have hope of what's to come and I say, okay, you can have that hope, but also look at what's around you and to make this life incredible. And you've by far done that. And the thing about it is, stuart, you have such an incredible journey and story as to how you got here. But in your childhood, what's very fascinating and I think this can be encouraging for a lot of different people is the fact that you lived with some what a person might call a learning disability, but that can also be a true ability to help you go to the next level. So share with us about your journey with having some learning differences in your childhood differences in your childhood.

Stuart Morris:

I think the challenge is perhaps made easier these days because we recognize things like dyslexia and autism and ADHD, whereas when I was growing up, these things weren't understood, they weren't recognized, so you just got labeled the thick kid, the naughty kid, the kid that was always in trouble, the kid that couldn't remember anything, kid the naughty kid, the kid that was always in trouble, the kid that couldn't remember anything, and so that became a challenge. But specifically, if we take dyslexia, there are plenty of kids out there and adults and everything in between who could get a dyslexia diagnosis. What most people simply understand dyslexia, as is a learning disability. Reading is hard. I am in my mid-50s and I do not like to sit down with a novel and read it. It hurts my head. However, there are things that I can do that normal people there are things that I can do that normal people, neuronormal people, simply cannot do, because dyslexia almost always has a curse side you can't read and write particularly easily but it has a blessing side, where there is some other thing that you can do that isn't similar to the usual. So one of the classics is the ability to spot patterns, connections, almost an intuitive sense of how things work is a really common advantage that people with dyslexia. The upside is they can see how things work even without reading the manual or even without having to take it apart. So that kind of thing.

Stuart Morris:

The autism, again that you've met one autistic person. You've met one autistic person. You can't describe them all just because you've met one. Uh, everybody's different. Some are so severe that they they really struggle to integrate into normal life. You know, if I'm going through an airport, I actually find it really, really difficult to go to a concert or a gig or to the theatre. It just becomes overwhelming. If I'm trying to travel and bear in mind I travel a lot I have to plan it so that I can build time in so my brain doesn't get fried. You know, going through security there are going to be a lot of people giving me different instructions. Are we taking shoes off? Are we not taking shoes off? You never know.

Stuart Morris:

For a normal person, neuronal person, neurotypical person, whatever the phrase you prefer is it's slightly stressful For an autistic person that's got used to dealing with it in a particular sequence. Suddenly the sequence has changed. Tsa at this particular airport have got a different set of rules to that airport, it becomes disproportionately stressful, and so I have a series of things that I do. Right, I'm going to get there. I'm going to take this slowly. If all these people are rushing past me because they're undoing their belts and they're doing it much more quickly than me, let them.

Stuart Morris:

I just need to slowly go through this process, go through the thing, put my arms out. You know I have a bunch of metal in my legs because of injuries. I'm gonna set the metal detector off it happens. Build the time in to just stand still. Let the guy do the thing with the sensor. Oh yeah, you've got metal. Yeah, fine, off you go. So you have to find ways of living in the world as it is, and I think the other thing about autism is a lot of people mask. They pretend to be normal. What's expected of me here? What this is expected of me here I'm going to behave that way.

Stuart Morris:

It's incredibly tiring and it's taken me until my mid-50s to go. You know what I am me. If the expectation is this, if it's really really important, okay I'll knock myself out and try and be that, but actually I'll be me. So one of the things that I say to people autistic people tend to have a subject that they're really passionate about Mine is aviation. If you asked me about general aviation, I will quite happily talk to you about airplanes and my airplane, the airplane I'm restoring for hours, wow. So you need to be prepared to tell me enough.

Alethea Felton:

Exactly, okay, wow.

Stuart Morris:

So it's. It can go both ways. But I think the other thing is for all of us and it can go both ways. But I think the other thing is for all of us grace, compassion, understanding that other people are different. We can have different skin colour, we can have different hairstyles, we have different gender inside your brain that are also different. That people just don't get um, and I think that's given me an appreciation of other cultures and and other. You know, people who don't share my gender, people who don't share my sexuality, people who don't share my political or religious views. We're all on a spectrum somewhere and it's that understanding that the world is a complex place. People who say, oh no, there's a simple answer to this, they're missing the point.

Alethea Felton:

Mm-hmm, and I really appreciate how in-depth you went with that, because I think just by looking at you or even having a conversation with you, a person would not necessarily off of the gate say, oh, he has autism.

Alethea Felton:

No, because you're right, it's literally a spectrum and there's so many different variations of it. And, as I shared with you in our meet and greet weeks ago, you know, I'm a former public school educator here in the States, so I taught students over the years and went to school with kids and friends of mine who are diagnosed with autism. But it looks different in everybody and in terms of the whole airport and TSA things, I have ADHD, so it's not autism. But you have to be very step by step with me because if not, it's going to be information overload and I'm like, what do you want me to do? But I appreciate that because, instead of necessarily viewing those as deficits, they can really be a superpower. And that even leads me to talk about how your newfound understanding of your neurodivergence how did it influence your approach to business as well as your personal life?

Stuart Morris:

So, certainly, if we start with business and I'd encourage anybody who is listening to this, watching this, who has a child with any kind of neurodiversity help them find their superpower, work out the things that they are really really good at and celebrate okay out of them. You know, just find the things that they're good at and major on those. Don't make them try and be something they're not so for. For me, that freedom to say you know what I'm really bad at. For example, I'm really bad at day-to-day management of my businesses. I'm a leader, I'm not a manager. My team will follow me through hell and back, but they'll starve on the way. So one of the things I had to understand was I need to hire managers who will make sure that everybody gets fed, payroll happens, the tax return gets done, all of those things not my strength, and so actually, as an entrepreneur, it's quite difficult to say you know what. There are bits of running this business that I am not well-suited to do. That's different from not good at, just not well suited. They're stressful, they, they wind me up, and so I actually, uh, relatively recently hired a managing director ceo as you would put it in the uk, sorry in the us, um, to do the day-to-day management of the businesses, and that's released me to be the creative, to provide the direction. You know, guys, we're going in this direction, and then the CEO actually makes sure that there's all of the other stuff, the procedural stuff happens underneath that, and I think so that's a big thing. To do in businesses is find what you're good at and major on that and and hire other people to fill the gaps in, because otherwise your business will always be limited by your ability and your skill set, and if you want it to grow beyond you, to be something bigger, then then you're a bit stuck, um.

Stuart Morris:

In terms of personal life, well, you know, you could look at my failed marriages and say he's clearly not terribly good at the whole relationship thing, um, or you could say I didn't understand what I was doing or who I was and how I was showing up in those relationships. You know it takes two to tango and all of that. You can't blame one partner or the other Well, unless you really can, um, but often it's a failure of both partners to engage fully with one another and say you know, what are your strengths, what are your strengths, what are my weaknesses, what are your weaknesses? How do we as a couple combine to become something that is greater than both of us? How do we back up one another's weaknesses? How do we major on one another's strengths? And I think that's something that certainly in the last few years so I got my autism diagnosis two years ago, two and a half years ago. I've got my ADHD diagnosis late last year. That's something that I've been really looking at as I think about new relationships is okay.

Stuart Morris:

A let's be upfront about this. If the person I'm sitting opposite at the restaurant is going yeah, I'm not up for working with an autistic ADHD bloke as a man, as a partner, fine, let's have a nice dinner, have some good conversation. We don't ever have to speak again. But if you're upfront about it and they go, yeah, okay, you're interesting, I'm up for this challenge. I'm going to go home and Google relationships with autistic ADHD people and start asking questions. Then you know full disclosure. We have a conversation to have. So, yeah, I think it's always best to be upfront. It's always best to be questioning about yourself. I'm really inquisitive about okay, how am I feeling in this situation? How am I responding in this situation? Is that how I want to respond, or am I people pleasing? Am I enjoying this day or am I not enjoying this day?

Alethea Felton:

Exactly.

Stuart Morris:

Am I pretending to enjoy this day because I don't want to let this person down? Actually, when you've been masking as an autistic person your whole life, you're trying to make sure everybody's having a good time and you forget your own desires and needs in this life to actually say no, I, you know I'm going to have to cope with this date not going well because this. There's some aspects of this person's way in life. You know they. They vote for the other candidate. That may be something you're unwilling to put up with. Okay, go home alone. It's okay to say enough. Um, what? Rather than people pleasing and finding yourself beginning a relationship where you're thinking I'm not sure I want this relationship, yeah.

Alethea Felton:

I think it goes back even to the adage to thine own self, be true. Own self be true. And you have a certain level of awareness that I think some people have but others don't is that you have a clear view on assessing who you are, your life, how things may or may not go, and for you to even say, if I heard you correctly, the autism diagnosis wasn't necessarily in school, but it was during your adulthood, correct?

Stuart Morris:

Yeah, two years ago, two and a half years ago.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah. So with that being said, Stuart, here you are, this successful entrepreneur doing great things. What led you to even get to the point of getting that diagnosis? Was it something that you sought after yourself or people around you? A doctor, how do you decide? One day, I want to get tested to see.

Stuart Morris:

One of the common things about autism especially, is depression, and I've struggled with depression my whole life. Um, and I'm very open about that, you know it's, it's, it's a thing.

Stuart Morris:

There's no point in hiding it um and so I was, uh, talking to a therapist and we were unpacking your life and she said have you ever been assessed for autism? I, no, never thought about it. And so we went through the process and for me, I found that very freeing. It was ah, now the world makes some sense. Now I'm able to say, okay, I see why my journey through the world has been hard. I see why I got fired from that job. Or I see why I left that job because I couldn't fit in. I didn't fit in. I didn't understand my own self.

Stuart Morris:

Having said that, I know a number of people who I'm 99% sure are autistic, who have no interest in getting a diagnosis from themselves or for seeking to understand themselves to that degree. For me, if I understand myself better, I can exist in the world better. I can perform better, in whichever way I choose to know to thine own self. Be true, I'm reasonably competitive. Let's not beat around the bush. As one of my sons puts it, dad does not believe in winning, he believes in total annihilation of the competition. Now, I don't feel it that way. I don't need the other guy to lose, I just need to know I've done my best. If I'm trying to run 100 meters against Usain Bolt. I know who loses that would be this guy but I need to know that I've run it as hard and as fast as I can.

Stuart Morris:

So one of my businesses. We're in a very small niche, but we are the world's largest in that niche, not because I need to beat the competition, but because I need to know that we are the best we can possibly be. We have the best products. We sell more than anybody else. We do it really really well. If you want to buy a sports car, do you buy a Ferrari or do you buy a Ford? Now, ford makes some really interesting vehicles, but if you had the choice, you'd have the Ferrari, wouldn't you?

Alethea Felton:

Of course, of course, yes, exactly, of course, yes, exactly. And you took such a humble approach in what you said about me offline, about how you got into that and what that is, so share with us a man with dyslexia, autism. I'm going to go back to the injury that you talked about earlier, because that is just mind blowing, but tell us about more. So now this business where it's the largest niche, and what largest niche?

Stuart Morris:

Yes, and so I'm going to try and summarize a very long story. So in 1995, I was teaching Sunday school and a young woman who I'd known since she was very small she died of leukemia at the age of 20. And I'd known her and all of her friends as they'd grown up and I ended up. I took her funeral, I officiated her funeral. It was very, very difficult. I had had no training. It hurt like hell because I knew and loved her and all her friends.

Stuart Morris:

And ever since then, within the church that I was then part of, I took ceremonies occasionally. So, you know, I'd got my day job in the tech industry. Then I got my own business in the tech industry and, you know, away we went, but occasionally I'd take a funeral or a service, or preaching, teaching all of these things. And then, through a mental health crisis, I woke up one day and realized I didn't have my faith anymore. So, okay, I now live in a world where I don't believe in God, but people still need the rites of passage and I'm too ill to go back into running a tech industry business. So I need something that I can do just for me to pay the bills, something that I can do just for me to pay the bills, because I don't do unemployed. I will always be doing something and um, so I started with, with the help of loved ones, uh, doing ceremonies, taking funerals, weddings for people who didn't have particular church connections, particular church connections.

Stuart Morris:

And what I found was, yes, if people are a very strong part of a church or mosque or temple or whatever their faith is, then they will have a ceremony within that tradition. But for a huge proportion of the population, they don't have a really strong faith in a particular identifiable way. They have probably some kind of messy, mishmash belief system. I don't really care what they believe. What I care about is their journey through for me, funerals in particular is their journey through, for me, funerals in particular.

Stuart Morris:

So I started taking funerals as my full-time day job. So I was taking 150 something funerals a year, so three a week, and on average in the UK there's about 20 people at a funeral. So that means that 3000 people a year were going to a funeral that I was sitting down with the family, talking to them about their loved one and creating a celebration of that person's life. So we then have a ceremony which wasn't the standard Christian funeral ceremony that we're all so familiar with. It was a real celebration of this individual. It was half an hour, an hour whatever length they wanted of celebration of their loved one's life, and so that's what I was doing. It was great, I could manage it, I could manage my recovery, it was good.

Stuart Morris:

And then people started saying to me will you teach us how to do this? And I knew there were other people training, so I know you know these other companies training. You don't need me to teach you to do this. And no, no, we want you to teach us how to do it. So, 20, where were we? 2018, I find okay.

Stuart Morris:

I'll run a course.

Stuart Morris:

You know, just run a course and almost by accident, I started this business, hired a couple of friends to come on and help and it grew and grew and so now here we are, six years later, the largest trainer of officiants, as you would say, in the US, celebrants, as we would say, outside the US, outside the US.

Stuart Morris:

So I run a course every month and we take a group of people and we teach them for five days everything they need to know to deliver the most outstanding weddings, funerals, baby namings, whatever kind of ceremony you want. And's incredibly fulfilling and one of the things you know, the reason why I said when it was just me I can touch the lives of 3,000 people a year by giving them the experience of a really positive funeral, a funeral that really celebrates the life of the person that we're saying goodbye to. When I look at the people that I've trained and we do the math, which we did a couple of months ago in the United Kingdom, close to a million people a year receive or go to a funeral led by somebody I trained. Oh, wow.

Stuart Morris:

By doing this business, my ability to touch lives has scaled from 3000 people a year, if it was just me, to all of my trainees going out into the world. Some of them do lots of funerals, some of them don't do any funerals, so you do the averages Just close to a million people a year are blessed by that better experience and actually, if you have a good funeral, your experience of grief changes dramatically. A wedding you can have a spectacularly opulent wedding. You can spend as much as you want. Is that marriage going to last any longer than a marriage that the entire wedding was a thousand bucks? No, it's much more about the people. So everything we do as celebrants, officiants, the rites of passage exist in every culture around the world.

Alethea Felton:

That's right.

Stuart Morris:

Yeah, welcoming a baby into a family, welcoming a child into adulthood, engagement, marriage and then, at the end of somebody's life, death. So you know it's hello. I love you and goodbye. And if you want to sum up celebrancy. That's all it is. It's helping a community say hello, I love you, and or goodbye.

Alethea Felton:

And I love that you all use that term when you share that with me.

Alethea Felton:

I know a lot about different things but in total transparency, I never knew that's what you call officiants and personally I like celebrants because I can speak for Black American culture is that when we have funerals, we'll typically call them home going services and while they may be in a church, the funeral program that you open and read says celebration of life. It's not meant to be. Of course, people will feel sad because it's a loved one, but it's a celebration. So it's stories of their life, it's upbeat songs, it's, you know, photo collages, it's laughing at the repast after the burial, and so it is a celebration. And when you think about all of these other events having a child, getting married these are celebrations. And I think that if a person had a celebrant coming, it could shift a perspective, which leads to this question While you meet with families or clients in the moment, stuart, what has been some of the feedback about the transformative power that you or the people you train has left with those particular individuals?

Stuart Morris:

So I have a trainee who we trained in about four months ago and I just trying to remember when she trained and she contacted me two, three weeks ago saying I've just got my first funeral, she's got a first booking. She's really excited and it wasn't an easy situation, that the circumstances surrounding this person's death were complex and so you know, little bit of extra coaching. This is how you might want to handle that. And yesterday she sent me a message saying you know I did it, you know you could see the pride in. You know how did it go, what was the feedback like? And she said they came out of the chapel and they hugged me. Oh, and you think, okay, here's a family, a grieving family. They've gone through a traumatic death of a loved one and the person they want to hug at the end is the celebrant, the person that helped them through the celebration of their loved one's life, and that just says, oh, you get these families. I have families that I've taken the funerals of four or five members of their family, you know, as the grandparents have died and other situations, and they've said, yeah, just you know, you know us, you know what we want, you know how our life is and you will help us through this. That's right, our life is and you will help us through this.

Stuart Morris:

And a really sad example about a year ago actually was a year ago I had a funeral director come to me say I've got this family, this one's gonna be. The girl was 13 years old. She was born with a life-limiting disease, so her mother always knew that she would be burying her daughter. Can you imagine the pain that mother has felt for 13 years? I know at some point I will bury my child and I go and sit down with this mother. Tell me about your daughter.

Stuart Morris:

And I spent two hours listening to stories of this young woman who had all sorts of challenges in her life mental challenges, physical challenges. She needed constant care, but she she laughed and she loved Harry Potter and she was kind and all of you know all of these things. And so I went back to the field director. I said, okay, here's his, here's an idea how we about we do a Harry Potter themed funeral. And we went back to the the mother and we said you know, okay, we think we can do this. And the mother yes, absolutely. So we took the hearse and we turned it into the hogwarts express oh I love it.

Stuart Morris:

We put little um favors on every seat with jelly beans in them to be the um, the jelly bean type things from from harry potter. The funeral director was dressed as Harry Potter, all of the staff were dressed as different characters. We decorated the chapel with the symbols from the houses and the coffin was all decked out in Harry Potter themed stuff. And I walked in dressed as Dumbledore, which was total madness. And I had just, at that point, recently got a new dog. So she was nine weeks up, 10 weeks old.

Stuart Morris:

At this point she walks in next to me carrying the elder wand in her mouth. Now, that was a risk. It was a big risk because I expected it to get chewed. So that mother wept her heart out. And who wouldn't? But she also laughed and laughed and laughed as we told all the fun stories of her daughter. And at the end of that funeral she came out with her makeup all over her face because she had sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. But she had a smile on her face and she gave me a huge hug and I ended up with mascara all over my shirt. And it's fine, it's an occupational risk. And she looked me in the eye and she said thank you for celebrating my little girl that's right and reminding me of the joy that she brought.

Stuart Morris:

You know there were 200 people at that ceremony. Yeah, that little girl had touched a lot of lives and we reminded all of them of the joy that she was and that allowed them to temper their pain at her death by thinking yeah, she touched lives in a really powerful way. So that's a really powerful example of what we can do.

Alethea Felton:

Oh, my goodness, that is the perfect example of it. And hearing how not only the people, the celebrants you train, are changed, but the lives of the people you serve store. In what ways has doing this work changed your life even more?

Stuart Morris:

So I lost a child many, many, many, many, many years ago and we didn't have a funeral, so there was just the hospital took her away and that was that One of the things that I'm able to do in helping this mother say goodbye to her daughter. Or worse, in many ways, you know I I do funerals for, for babies, you know, stillborn or who've died very soon after birth, and you sit down with a mother and father who've just lost their baby. There are no words, there is nothing you can say. I'm sorry for your loss.

Alethea Felton:

There is nothing you can say I'm sorry for your loss, really, that's right? No, no, no, no, no Do not ever say that that's right.

Stuart Morris:

For me do not ever say that at all. Yeah, I'm going to use the F word and breathe. That's so insensitive. Just don't even go there, that's right.

Stuart Morris:

So if I can help that young couple celebrate in any way, even if it is in silence, to say goodbye to their child, to acknowledge the loss, the death of the dreams, you know the every parent thinks of the day my child, my little girl, will go to prom, the day my little girl will get married, whatever it is, oh, my little boy, the first day at school, the graduation days, all of those dreams get lost in that moment when the midwife or the doctor turns to you with a look on their face.

Stuart Morris:

That is hell on earth. So how has it changed me? It's enabled me to have some sense of closure on my own loss, but it's also enabled me to see incredible bravery in the world, incredible selflessness in the world, that people you can bring out the best of people in the worst of moments. It's re-established my belief in humankind. We see some horrific things going on in the world. Humankind, we see some horrific things going on in the world. I don't want to get into politics, but you see politicians who are claiming one thing but blatantly obviously doing another or believing another. Actually, when I watch a 94 94 year old woman kissed the coffin of the husband she married when she was 20.

Alethea Felton:

And you know they've 74 years of marriage 74.

Stuart Morris:

Wow, yeah, just wow.

Alethea Felton:

That's a wow. Yeah, it really is.

Stuart Morris:

She said to me I just want to say a dignified goodbye to the man I have loved for a lifetime.

Alethea Felton:

Oh, oh, my goodness.

Stuart Morris:

Yeah.

Stuart Morris:

So it's given me hope, even in the worst moments. You know, sitting with the parents of an 18 year old who took his own life. Let's celebrate your son, let's find and every suicide I've ever taken a funeral for. That person was described by their friends and family. He was the life of the soul of the party. She would always help you. She was always the one who would. When I needed a friend, she was always there for me.

Stuart Morris:

You know, there's so much to be celebrated in the people who feel and and sometimes it's those people who feel too much are the ones that we lose too early, um, but they're the ones who change the world. They're the ones who were there at four o'clock in the morning listening to their friends pouring their heart out. Let's celebrate that. Let's remember the goodness, let's remember the way they changed the world, the charities that they supported, the good work that they did, and remind their friends and family who are grieving they were an amazing human being. You know there's that, that adage. You know that the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. I'm not a fan of that one, um, but it does bring comfort to some people. So, yeah, so for me, funerals are a really cathartic thing, but they're a way you can change the world and I always joke.

Stuart Morris:

If you watch our late Queen's funeral, there was an hour of marching. The British Army marched really, really well. Then there was an hour of ceremony in Westminster and then there was another hour of marching and in all of those three hours of pomp and ceremony and big tall hats and all the rest of it, they spent 58 seconds talking about a woman called Elizabeth, 58 seconds talking about the achievements of the longest reigning monarch in British history. That was not a funeral, that was a statement of state and it was a state funeral. It was a statement of the Church of England saying look how important we are. And that's why the family had a separate funeral in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle, just privately for them to say goodbye to their mother their sister.

Alethea Felton:

It doesn't matter who you are.

Stuart Morris:

You are somebody's child, potentially somebody's parent, somebody's sibling, and so funerals and weddings can be as huge, as grand as you want them to be, but actually they're about the people, and that reminds me that everything we do in the world, it's about the people. It has to be about the people, and when people start.

Stuart Morris:

We've got this problem in the UK at the moment, where we've got these riots that are being driven by far-right ideology at the moment where we've got these riots that are being driven by far-right ideology, that they've decided that the person that committed this, these murders of these children, was from a particular religious group actually doesn't. Yeah, we don't know who this person was. They may or may not have been from this political, particular religious group. But that doesn't justify nazi salutes in the streets, it doesn't justify burning police cars, it doesn't justify throwing bricks through mosque windows. Where does that make any sense at all? So intolerance, wherever it's coming from, whether it's race driven, religiously driven, politically driven, those things result in nothing but pain, nothing but more loss, nothing but more death, nothing but damage. And actually, you know, human beings, we're all human beings.

Alethea Felton:

Yes, mm, hmm.

Stuart Morris:

Yes, sorry, you got me off on one there.

Alethea Felton:

No, no, no, that, no, it's mine, and I would have reeled you in if you had gone too far off. I think, though, that that was a perfect landing only because of the fact that you're right and that people's lives matter, and I think that if more people realize that, it would make the world a much better place for everybody. But I like how you give people hope in the midst of their sorrow and you change a person's perspective or mindset on what a celebration of life can be is that you can have a baby, you can have a wedding and you can have a baby. You can have a wedding and you can have a funeral, and, although it hurts, you can still walk away with some hope and not feeling hopeless. And I also thank you for bringing up the fact of people being mindful of what they say to a grieving loved one.

Alethea Felton:

I've had my share of grief gone through grief therapy and everything, and people mean well by it of grief gone through grief therapy and everything, and people mean well by it.

Alethea Felton:

But there are some phrases that are just not good to say about I'm sorry for your loss or well, they are in a better place, Like don't say that, you know, because in the moment, we want our loved one with us and we have the right to grieve in the way that we choose to grieve, and I so wish that I had time to go into so many more aspects of your life.

Alethea Felton:

There's so many layers and I could have honed in on you know, entrepreneur, and your past life in tech, and just so much more in terms of what you've done, but I think that the heart and the crux and the core of who you are in helping people and the airplane, passion and even your injuries have all created this, and you share much of that in your story One in a Million Life and so I want you to just tell us a little bit about what that book is and also how can people go about purchasing it, as well as how can people connect with you on social media LinkedIn how can listeners and viewers connect with you, Stuart?

Stuart Morris:

So the idea of the one in a million life is that so many people get to their death without actually having lived. And you know I've taken well, I've lost count. You know hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, possibly thousands of funerals. I've heard so many stories of people's lives and I can honestly say that most of those people didn't truly live, they just drifted through their life. They didn't make decisions, they didn't decide what is it I want. They kind of accepted what turned up. And so for me, the inspiration for the idea was actually choose the life you want to live.

Stuart Morris:

It's not about living a life with no regrets. I have plenty of regrets, but when I get to the end of my life, I don't want those regrets to be things that I wish I'd done. So a really good example you know, 10 years old, I saw a particular aircraft. It's a beachcraft, bonanza v-tail and um google it. It's beautiful. It took me 45 years, but I now fly that airplane. It is, you know, I. So that 10 year old, his dream came true, not by accident, not by luck. I didn't win the lottery, I made it come true.

Stuart Morris:

And so the whole concept about the one in a million life is being intentional. Where do you want to live? How do you want to live? What do you want your family life to look like? What do you want? I'm not interested whether you want to be outrageously wealthy or whether you're content with whatever it is you have. This isn't about wealth. It's not a wealth generation scheme. It's about an intentional life scheme.

Stuart Morris:

So what I've developed is a system that allows people to run their own business, because that's my entrepreneurial background. How can I build a business which supports the life I want to lead, rather than just this middle management job in a corporate cubicle somewhere? And how can I make that transition without risking the children's education or the college fund or the mortgage or these kinds of things? So that's the the first stage um that we're working on at the moment. So the website one in a million dot life um is is growing at the moment, and that's the best place to to find me. Um, and so the course. How to start your own business, uh, the book, which I haven't finished writing yet, but we'll get there.

Stuart Morris:

We'll get there, it'll be, it'll be out soon.

Alethea Felton:

You can register your interest and we'll.

Stuart Morris:

We'll get you these stuff, um, but then there will be more layers on top of that as well, not just about starting your own business, but other aspects of life On top of that as well. Not just about starting your own business, but other aspects of life. And I've got this little team of people working on an entire way of being in the world. It doesn't define a particular political view. It doesn't define a particular religious view, cultural view. You bring who you are and then are intentional about where you're going, and that's the core of it. Choose where you're going, don't just get blown like a leaf on the wind with no choice. And I think that's the story of my life. There was a period where I just was blown left and right and left and right.

Stuart Morris:

No no no, no, no. From here on out, whatever comes at me, the one thing I have is a choice of how I respond to that thing. So I have a trajectory, a place I want to get to, more a journey I want to travel. Challenges, joyful things, sad things will come, but I get to choose how I respond to those things. New opportunities may crop up and I may change my trajectory because, hey, who knew about generative AI when I was?

Alethea Felton:

a 16-year-old.

Stuart Morris:

Exactly exactly so you respond, but it's intentional. It's always about living the life that you choose to live. I hope that you will. You, whoever you are listening to this, will choose to live a generous, kind life, a life where love for your fellow human being, regardless of their creed, colour, race, religion whatever it is.

Stuart Morris:

I don't care who the person in front of me is. They deserve to be loved, they deserve to be cared for, they deserve to be helped if they need it. They deserve to be loved, they deserve to be cared for, they deserve to be helped if they need it. They deserve to be educated. They deserve to be safe and that, I think, is something that so, if you like, that is my creed. But within that, wherever you want to be, but it's one in a million life is about choosing the life that you want to lead and being intentional about making it happen.

Alethea Felton:

And also Stuart I can't recall off of the top of my head through your website, but is there also a link or blurb in there about people who may want to get training from you to become a celebrant?

Stuart Morris:

Yeah, all of that's linked off the site. Okay, perfect, so that's a whole different business, but yeah, it's all out the back there, Of course and a car would be honking in my background.

Alethea Felton:

I'm not sure if you can hear it, but I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm at my house in DC right now. So I'm in the city in DC, not on the outskirts. And I'm at my house in DC right now. So I'm in the city in DC, not on the outskirts, and I'm like who in the world? Our alarm is going off, but anyway.

Stuart Morris:

Anyway, it stopped, yes, oh oh goodness.

Alethea Felton:

But, but as we close and it stops, so great, okay. So as we close here, stuart, I'd like to just leave with this question you, although you've spoken of failed marriages in the past, the beauty is you are a father, and you did share with me that one of your sons is actually a chef at a facility you own, and etc. So my question is thinking about your children, but also the thousands of people that you trained and the millions of lives you've influenced globally. Millions of lives you've influenced globally. Stuart. What do you desire your legacy to be when it's time for you to?

Stuart Morris:

leave this earth? Oh, that's a really complex question. Um, I want to know that I have left the planet a better place for as many people as I possibly can. There will be those who I have wronged, there will be those who I have hurt, there will be those that I have insulted, either intentionally or accidentally. But fundamentally, I want to know that the world is a better place because I stood upon it. The world is a better place because I stood upon it, and that there are those people who are healed because of some word I said, those who are happier because of something I did, those who are safer because of something I did.

Alethea Felton:

Yeah, I just want to leave the world a better place, and you've certainly left it a better place for me, even in the short time that we've known each other. I think you're doing incredible work and I have such an affinity for people who are intentional about providing light and hope to others. And I want to also leave you with. Regardless of your choice in leaving the church or traditional religion, I want to assure you that you are definitely making a profound influence on people of all backgrounds, regardless of their walk and their practice, and I can say, as I had shared with you I'm a follower of Christ. But even outside of that, just who you are as a human being is what the world needs more of, and it is truly an honor knowing you, stuart Morris, and thank you for gracing us here on the Power Transformation Podcast. Thank you sincerely.

Stuart Morris:

You're very welcome and very generous and, if I may, one thing for me, the two key verses in the Bible. Jesus was asked what true religion is and he replied feeding and housing the widows and orphans, and the other one, the woman caught in adultery. Now let's not discuss where the man involved was, Of course, and why he's completely absent from this story because that's a whole thing in itself.

Stuart Morris:

Christ knelt in the ground, he drew in the dust. He loved her. He loved her, whatever she, whatever she was accused of, whatever they were going to stone her. For that's right, he loved her and he saved her life.

Alethea Felton:

That's right, he who is without sin, cast the first stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart Morris:

So for me, having lost my faith. Those are the two things that I still hang on to Feed and house the widows and orphans and love people.

Alethea Felton:

That's right, that is absolutely right. And love people, that's right. That is absolutely right. And to continue to have faith in the humanity that you are exhibiting and continue to show that through the works that you do. And I continue to hope nothing but the best for you and I just look forward. You know, as I said, in the future, when I travel to the UK in the future, it will be wonderful to meet you in person. But thank you again, stuart, and I know everybody is going to gain something insightful from this profound interview.

Alethea Felton:

I am so happy to have had Stuart Morris as my guest today. I hope you are as inspired as I am by Stuart's incredible journey. His resilience, innovation and passion for celebrating life's most meaningful moments are truly remarkable. And remember, through Stuart, that every challenge that we face holds the potential for growth and transformation. And what Stuart's journey also teaches me and I encourage you to do is to keep chasing your dreams, cherish life's precious moments and always believe in the power of turning adversities or difficulties or challenges into something that can have lasting meaning and beauty.

Alethea Felton:

So we will close with our affirmation. I ask you to please connect with Stuart, but as we close out, I'm going to say the affirmation once and you repeat it and join us again for another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. It is because of you that it's able to be a success. We are still in the top 5% of podcasts globally and I am believing that it will be a top 1% podcast in the future. Let's say the affirmation and say it like you mean it. I am empowered to create meaningful connections and celebrate life's precious moments. If you enjoyed today's show, then you don't want to miss an episode, so follow the Power Transformation Podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you usually listen, and remember to rate and review. I also invite you to connect with me on social media at Alethea Felton, that's at A-L-E-T-H-E-A-F-E-L-T-O-N. T-h-e-a-f-e-l-t-o-n. Until next time, remember to be good to yourself and to others.