The Power Transformation Podcast
The Power Transformation Podcast hosted by Alethea Felton, celebrates the resilience, determination, and hope of individuals who have conquered adversity and various challenges to create meaningful lives. With her own inspiring journey of living with autoimmune illness since birth, overcoming severe stuttering, and more, Alethea's authenticity adds depth to intimate conversations with guests from all walks of life who have overcome extraordinary obstacles. Alethea's heart-centered, introspective, and engaging style elevates this podcast into a movement that inspires listeners to embrace their inner strength, cultivate empowerment, and rise wiser, stronger, and more courageous to achieve their next level of success.
The Power Transformation Podcast
91. Reinventing Retirement: Embracing New Beginnings & Purpose with Rosemary Carminati
What if retirement could be the most dynamic phase of your life? Well, according to Rosemary Carminati, Retirement Reinvention Specialist, it can be that and so much more!
Join us as Rosemary...
- Opens up about her personal transformation catalyzed by a family crisis and a mentor's wisdom;
- Shares how intentional living and meaningful engagement can turn retirement into a rich, fulfilling chapter;
- Offers invaluable insights for those planning their retirement or already navigating it;
- Discusses strategies for creating supportive environments after retirement;
- And more!
Connect with Rosemary:
Episode 91's Affirmation:
I am an original thinker, always brainstorming new pathways for my creativity.
Click here to connect with Alethea Felton
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When you think about retirement, what comes to mind? Do you think about the ending of something or the beginning? Well, today's guest, rosemary Carmanati, really gives us a different way to think about retirement. In fact, there was a point when people would think about retirement as being the end of the road or a time to even slow down. However, that is not necessarily the case. Whether you are younger or more seasoned or older, retirement is something that can be beneficial for everyone, and it can open up new doors of endless possibilities. So join me as I interview the phenomenal Rosemary Karma Noddy, the retirement reinvention specialist, so that you can learn how to win in the second half of your game.
Alethea Felton:Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast. I am your host, Alethea Felton, and I welcome all of you with such open arms, especially if you are someone who is a new listener. If you are new and you haven't yet followed or subscribed, go ahead and do that, but don't stop there. Leave a five-star rating and write a review. All feedback is warranted and welcome, because we want this podcast to be a movement and simply not a show. We are changing lives day by day, and it is because of your support that we're able to do that.
Alethea Felton:I have an incredible guest today for you and I want us to jump right into this interview because you are definitely going to gain insight, wisdom and just some nuggets from Rosemary Carminati. So let's go ahead and begin with our affirmation. I will say the affirmation once and then you repeat it. I have the courage to embrace change, for it leads me to new horizons. I am so excited today to have this amazing guest. It is Rosemary Carmanati. I met her back in spring, april, when we served on a panel together for another podcast show. She is absolutely a guru in her field. She's going to talk to you today all about retirement, but it may not be exactly what you think. So, even if you're a younger person or older or I don't even like to say older, seasoned and more experienced, I recommend that you stick this interview out, no doubt because she has such a transformation story as to how she even got here. So welcome, rosemary.
Rosemary Carminati:Thank you, alethea. I'm so happy to be here. I love what you said about doesn't matter what your age thinking about retirement is important at any age.
Alethea Felton:It certainly is, and that's why, as soon as I met you, I said I have to have her on my show, because not only are you just sunshine and I just love your personality, but also what you actually do. And so I want to jump right into this interview, and I always like to start with an icebreaker question, something fun, so that my audience can get to know you a little bit better. Lighthearted, why not? Okay, rosemary, here is your question. If you had to choose between going to the mountains or the beach, which one would you choose, and why?
Rosemary Carminati:Okay, it would be very easy to say both, because there's so much beauty in both. I have to say anyone that would know me would immediately say beach, and when I say beach I mean any body of water. I feel at my most comfortable where I connect is near, on or in water.
Alethea Felton:Wow, Wow, is there a particular beach or place of water that you like to go to regularly?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, if I had my way, I'd be going to Venice as often as possible. I love the notion that you can't get anywhere unless you use your body to walk or you get on a Vaporetto and just get on the water, because gosh that, and I don't think there's a beach. I don't like, okay, if I'm anywhere in a car and I see on the horizon, to my left, and you know, I don't think there's a beach. I don't like, okay, if I'm anywhere in a car and I see on the horizon, to my left, to my right, in front of me, behind me, it doesn't matter If I see a glimpse of blue sky and then water, I'm turning that car in that direction.
Alethea Felton:So I, yeah, so so I'd have to agree with you. I grew up by the water and so that's all I. I love and I thrive, and I love mermaids. So, as strange as it is, I know you all mermaids are fictional, but I can still have imagination. But you understand what I'm saying. I connect, I, I collect anything dealing with mermaids, and just the water itself is so tranquil, and so that's something good to know. Maybe we will have to connect in the future and meet somewhere at a body of water, just enjoy the day, and it can be to me a lake, a beach, a pond, a stream, any body of water, literally Exactly.
Rosemary Carminati:Exactly and and, like I said, there's something ethereal, something that brings me complete peace and calm. I do my best, reflection. I feel the most connected with myself, the world, the universe, whatever you want to call your higher power. That all happens to me when I'm near water.
Alethea Felton:That all happens to me when I'm near water, and water is a life-giving source and that is definitely something needed and it brings you vibrancy, just as retirement can also be a life-giving, vibrant source if planned well and executed properly. So I want to kind of transition here and asking a simple question. You can answer this any way that you want. It doesn't have to be about job title. But if a person were to come up to you and say who is Rosemary Carmanati, what would you say?
Rosemary Carminati:You know, I was just talking to a friend about this last year. I'm a part of a woman's global networking and not networking, excuse me connection organization. It's definitely connection. And I was given this wonderful award about worldwide impact. Wonderful award about worldwide impact.
Rosemary Carminati:And when I was given the award, the things that were said about me, I said it's almost as if I was at my own funeral. It was a eulogy and I sat back first as she was saying who she was giving it to she hadn't said my name yet and as she said the adjectives and the actions and the things I'm thinking to myself wow, I want to meet that woman. That sounds amazing. And then, when she said my name, I said you know what I need to readdress, as I do often, my identity statement and look and see where are some of the things that I maybe take for granted about myself. And I think most of us do that. I think we were.
Rosemary Carminati:I know in my culture. I can talk about the United States and women. We're raised to be humble and in saying humble I mean, if you say anything about pride and being, you know I've accomplished something and I'm proud of it. There tends to be a little bit of a let's squash that down. That's not humility. Well, that's not true. This is part of who we are, were said about me. That I really stuck with are the fact that not only a loyal friend I think almost everybody wants to say that but that I live my life in an attempt to inspire and distribute hope. I feel that there are so many people in the world that feel that sense of hopeless, loneliness, maybe a lack of self-worth, and I feel part of my mission is to go out there and help people recognize their light and get out there and shine, if I can uncover your light in any way. I celebrate uniqueness and I love to help people grow and empower themselves, finding it within themselves.
Alethea Felton:So I'd say.
Rosemary Carminati:That's what I am as a person, besides all of the cliche mother, daughter, sister, all those wonderful things that I'm so proud that I really put a lot of effort into. I value my relationships. I'm so enriched by them, yeah but, I really believe that the resilience I have too is another thing I'd say. I would say someone would say that woman, once they get to know me, boy, she's got quite the story to tell. And yet she shows up with such optimism and love for life.
Alethea Felton:And in the short time we've known each other, I can see that love for life and I see that light and the fact that you help others find their light. As a matter of fact, part of what your title is if I were to segue into that is the Retirement Reinvention Specialist, and that right, there is something where you can spark a light in someone to reinvent themselves with that. And so tell us a little bit briefly about what a retirement reinvention specialist is, what does that look like, and then let the audience know upfront how they can connect with you, and then we'll get into the heart of the really compelling, transformative questions.
Rosemary Carminati:I love it. Reinvention specialist to me is our notion of retirement for a lot of people is okay, now it's freedom and I'm just going to enjoy my life and it's going to be heaven on earth, and this is what I've waited for. And then the rug gets pulled out from underneath a lot of people, and so what I help them do is determine how am I going to have productive longevity, even if it means I'm going to be the best gardener in my backyard, if that's all they want for the rest of their life. But there's so many people that are living without purpose in retirement, and when you live with purpose, you add seven years or more to your longevity. So right there, productive longevity. I want them to live without regrets, the regrets that people have before they die, things like they didn't live their dreams or they never allowed themselves to be happy or they didn't live authentically. I help them figure that out, and then I want them to be comfortable with who they are, their authentic identity in this stage of their life, not what they were told they were supposed to be, not what they were when they did their profession. Who do you want to be and what do you want to do for the rest of your life?
Rosemary Carminati:Plain and simple. I love it. I love it. And the way to connect with me? Yeah, simple ways. Linkedin is my go-to If you want to DM me on LinkedIn. I love to connect with people. I love to collaborate and partner with people on LinkedIn. I think this message is very important, so I like to share it any way I can. And then I also have a website and on that website you can connect with me. There's also some freebies.
Alethea Felton:There's also some freebies, there's education, and the website is your transformation trainercom, and I'm sure it'll be in the show notes. Linkedin is my name, rosemary Carminati, and I've always got goodies in there and new ideas, and I'm always looking for reactions, responses and suggestions, and you definitely have a success rate in terms of helping people get to this point. And when I first met you, I told you I had never heard of anyone who does what you do. I think your niche is so important.
Alethea Felton:We often hear of retirement planners through jobs and things like that but you do more, and this is not to disparage anyone who does that. So this statement that I'm about to say is no shade against anybody. But you go deeper with the work that you do. Sometimes with the job retirement planning it's a guideline about how much money you'll have, what your investments are like, but you go into the root and the core of what is this next chapter going to look like, and I think that is extremely important in that you just didn't wake up overnight saying, okay, this is what I'm going to do. This is not what you planned on doing from the time you started working until now. So, rosemary, share with us your personal journey as to what actually inspired you to focus on helping others navigate the transition into retirement?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, in a nutshell, after 30 plus years in corporate sales, I know that end of the game. Okay, I lived in the world of never enough, always the quota. What can you do for me now? Yeah, that was an hour ago and I lived in that hamster wheel of always waiting for success and being happy when, and the crazy, the craziness of it and the stress of it, it and the stress of it In order to be successful. It takes a toll over time and through the end of my career.
Rosemary Carminati:I had a family crisis for a good decade, which I won't get into, but what it did was make me reevaluate my life. I got into my 50s and I said wait a minute, this is wonderful, the money's great, but is this what I want to do with the rest of my life? So I got into personal development. I started working on myself a lot more and found gurus and mentors all over the globe and really resonated with my personal partner and mentor now, Peter Sage, who worked with Tony Robbins for 15 years. His message is similar to so many of the folks that are out there, but it is said in such a way that I resonated with love, acceptance, faith, spirituality, so many wonderful things and the way he presented was so much in alignment with the way I feel about life and humanity and raising the significance of others. And some mentors I had were in your face and work harder and learn more, and that wasn't the route I wanted to take. I had already done all that. I had the success and you know what? I still had the stress and I knew I needed to change.
Rosemary Carminati:So once I started become a personal development trainer, I was looking for a niche. Well, guess what? I didn't have to look very long because, being the age I am number one. I'm surrounded by people that I hear say all the time I can't wait till I retire. Oh, when I retire, it's almost as if life is going to happen. That's when I'm going to begin my life. And little by little, those people started becoming my clients. And then, as I started researching, I went into the Amazon top sellers for retirement and I went into TED and TEDx.
Rosemary Carminati:And who's speaking about retirement? The majority is financial retirement planning, Medicare, Social Security, health care, travel, possibly downsizing, so real estate. But people were talking about OK, you want to stay busy in retirement. Well, what does busy look like to each individual person? What are your real values, needs? Who do you want to surround yourself with? It's not as simple as just go join a pickleball league, and that's what everybody was saying. Every time I turned around they made it look like it was just okay. You know, just join the senior community and then you'll be happy. Well, I was meeting people left and right and then researching blue zones and seeing how wonderful they live their lives with productivity at their, their intentional productivity. They decide. No one tells them you have to retire, number one and they decide how they want to live the rest of their lives. And they live in cultures where they're admired and respected, and I can honestly say living in the United States, that's not the case. We're a throwaway.
Rosemary Carminati:You've served your purpose, Now go in the corner for the most part that's a part of my mission too is to let everyone know you still have a voice, you matter. There's so much more we can accomplish and, as we said, early, not waiting until you retire. And if that happens, I have clients that have retired and discovered they have all the money in the world that they need to live off of, but they're not happy. So I have those clients. But if I can touch upon people that are planning and thinking of all the logistics but haven't thought of the potential negative side effects, psychologically, that's when I really am, you know, I'm so I want to say fulfilled and I want to say empowered by the notion that this can change people's thinking in their 30s. I'm putting money away for my 401k. What am I doing? How am I thinking about? What do I want to do with my living legacy, my last 20, 30 years of my life?
Alethea Felton:Mm-hmm, that's true and you know part of my story. I don't really talk about it a lot here on the podcast, but listeners Rosemary knows that I retired early actually from education at the age of 41. It's a whole story behind that. That's a separate episode in and of itself. But when I met her I was intrigued by it because one of my mentors when I was in the school system I did teaching leadership and I also ended up in HR.
Alethea Felton:But I'll never forget when I was still in the classroom, one of the mentors of mine was retiring after 39 years and she was a dynamic educator and I'm going to shout her out Her name is Pat Carballo and she was one of the most phenomenal teachers I had ever seen in my life. She helped me get national board certification and everything. And I'll never forget a conversation she had and Pat told me she said whenever you decide to exit from the profession whether it's traditional retirement or early she said, do it when you're still on top and you love it and you're not burnt out and you're not disgruntled and you don't hate your job. And that's when she chose to leave. She still genuinely loved what she did and I think that made a world of difference, because sometimes some people I know now, especially in the field of education, are just downright tired, are just downright tired.
Alethea Felton:And then, even talking to a former colleague recently, she said to me you know, oh girl, I know you're glad you got out, I'm trying to leave too, and you know, dah, dah, dah dah. And I said hold on, I left when I still enjoyed it. I didn't want to give her the concept that I ran away because I hated it. That's not what happened at all, and I think, psychologically for me, what I experienced was when you transition from one field into, my case, entrepreneurship. Although I had done part-time entrepreneurship for all of those years, what was tough for me is that lack of community that I always had in teaching, and so that leads me to this question is how would you define a fulfilling retirement, and what are some misconceptions that people might have about this phase of life that you aim to dispel?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, the misconception I think I already mentioned was that it's Shangri-La. You know, there are people out there that are very, very happy and successful in retirement because they know what they want out of life and they know themselves and they love themselves. There's so many things that we could talk about in those instances, but that's the misconception that that's going to be that carrot, that golden brass ring, whatever you call it. Oh, when I reached that yes, all my hard work, and that's what leads to when you were saying people in retirement, the expectations quite often are so high and then the disappointment and the stress. They think it's not going to be stressful.
Rosemary Carminati:Well, imagine I think I mentioned it when you and I did the panel there is most people that are in personal development will know that we have six basic psychological needs, and some of them certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, growth and contribution. So imagine someone that's retiring and they spent their whole career in a significant position and I use this analogy and now they're in stop and shop and they're the same as the person schlepping groceries on either side of them. Nobody wants to know their opinion, nobody asks them their opinion, they cannot order anyone around, so their identity is built into their significance. What if it's certainty they knew every day? I have some people in my life that are like that. They know every day where their parking spot is, where they get their coffee.
Alethea Felton:Who they're?
Rosemary Carminati:going to talk to and all of a sudden that all gone, wow, yes. Or, like you said, community. And you know what. You, as an educator and anyone that's been in management, you know the way that we motivate our folks, our employees in management is different for each person. So whatever inspires or motivates is going to be different.
Rosemary Carminati:So that person that goes to his job because he loves his community, what happens when all of his co-workers say, yeah, yeah, we'll get together, and they get together the first month and then six months later, then a year later, then five years goes by the isolation, the loneliness, the lack of love that they got from their community in their job and research shows that not unlike when I was growing up, when there was bowling leagues and block parties and we knew our neighbors and we talked personally, not on these gadgets that we have we had personal, in-touch communication.
Rosemary Carminati:What's happening now is there's such an epidemic of loneliness. So people are getting that communication and that connection through their job, but when that job is over, that's one of their basic psychological needs and if that's top of their one of their needs, again there's something that the rug got pulled out. And what about if it's growth or contribution Now for me, I have a feeling it is you too, alethea Growth and contribution. I will, till the day I take my last breath, want to learn something new and contribute. Contribute to the betterment of someone else.
Alethea Felton:Yes, you're absolutely right.
Rosemary Carminati:What happens if you only did that in your job and you didn't think about ahead of time Part of what I do with people. If they're working and they love their job you know everybody has aspects they don't like. Of course I ask them let's evaluate what you love about what you do and now start to think about how will you fill those voids. So simple, very simple. And then also let's reevaluate some of the things that you don't like about your job and some of the values. I mean I do deep dive value assessments with people because there's something to be said about doing that on a regular basis, or if you haven't done it since you were in a different transition in your life. And then you say, wow, I wonder, not only did I ever really value that, or was that something that was imposed on me, maybe society told me that as a woman I'm supposed to value that, or as a mother. And then you look at it again and say, no, those aren't my values.
Rosemary Carminati:And you know what? A lot of the people that I'm hanging around with right now don't have those values with right now don't have those values. You know what I'm saying. You start reassessing the people that you surround yourself with, too, as we go through these transitions. That's a big part of it too. Our environment, yeah, I mean each person. So when you say fulfillment in retirement, fulfillment is a different picture for every single person. But I think number one is living authentically in your own skin and living with whatever purpose drives you.
Alethea Felton:I agree with that totally, and I think that what you started touching on in terms of just the different assessments leads me to ask you in what other ways, since people face so many emotional challenges, such as a loss of purpose and identity on top of that, rosemary, how do you help your clients, or just people you work with in general, overcome those types of feelings but, more importantly, rediscover their passions? Because sometimes passions can change over the years and a person might not realize what they're passionate about until someone asks them. So how do you give us an example of what you might hypothetically do to start getting a person to rediscover their passions?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, a simple one we do. We call it hot pen, and I have varying different hot pen exercises where we, with a background music, start writing down without thinking. Don't judge what you're putting on paper, things that you like to do where. What would your ideal day be like if you got up first thing in the morning? Everything from how you put your feet down on the ground, what type of toothbrush you use, put anything you want down there, and you would be shocked at how many people who have told me and I've had friends and clients that have said I don't know if I have any dreams oh, wow, oh, it's scary, it's kind of sad. Yeah, it's very sad yeah.
Alethea Felton:But it is common that hurt my heart hearing that, but it's true.
Rosemary Carminati:Yeah, I don't know if I have any dreams. I thought I did, but then you know, life squishes it down and the people that we surround ourselves with and society and the media, and also meditating and visualization exercises, when we can get in touch with ourselves without outside distractions, the amount of messages that come to us and you know there's a way for those folks out there that are very non-woo-woo you know, I worked in corporate so I get it.
Rosemary Carminati:I know that. You know there's a lot of people that are afraid of some of this stuff. But the notion that we are so busy thinking we can't differentiate between our thoughts and our feelings and so often people are just being guided by their thoughts and many of them are limiting and negative, and so we dig into all that. So in a short answer long answer to a short question we start with unpacking the garbage first. First and foremost because you can't dream if you still have the albatross on your shoulders or the ankle weights. How are you going to fly? That kite can go soaring but you've got the albatross on your shoulders or the ankle weights? How are you going to fly? That kite can go soaring but you've got the ankle weights on? You're not going to go anywhere.
Rosemary Carminati:So we need to take the ankle weights off and we need to look at your limiting beliefs, the perspectives that you have, the trauma that you've gone through, and let's look at how we can find some gratitude in the pain that you've been through in your life. I know you've had plenty of guests on and I've heard in many podcasts. The minute you realize you are who you are because of what you've been through and you can be grateful for that and actually have joy and learn the lessons that were there to teach you, instead of being resentful and holding grudges. When we get rid of all that, then we start with the seeking out, the dreams and the vision and the clarity of focus. I've seen it so many times. It's completely shifting. I thought I was going to retire. You know what? I want to go back and I have my degree. I think I want to teach, or I want to consult, or I was in the music industry. I want to start doing that again. That's right, yeah.
Alethea Felton:And that's what. Oh, I think I got this spark about you don't stop living until you're dead. I think I got that from some of the women on my mom's side of the family, specifically my late grandmother, who graduated from college at the age of 69. She started off young. I mean she grew up in a very affluent family. She was born in the year 1919, grew up in Massachusetts they were the first Black family in Milton, massachusetts and my mom grew up in Jersey, but she spent her childhood summers on Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket Island, stuff like that, right.
Alethea Felton:But my grandmother went to Howard University in the late 1930s, early 1940s. Something happened in her senior year. She took all of her senior pictures is in the senior yearbook. Something traumatic happened to her and she dropped out during her senior year at Howard University. She was still able to have a successful career as a social worker because things were a little different then and she could still do the work without having the official college degree, but that was always a thorn in her side. So she graduated college at age 69. And some of the other women on my mom's family who were older women were traveling the world in their 60s and 70s. And so, with that being said, it goes to show that life does not end once your career stops and your entire being is not defined by it. What I do like is that in the past you've drawn a parallel between retiring professionals and athletes who retire after a successful career. Can you elaborate on that particular analogy and how that guides your work and your approach with clients?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, I think, if you look at, if you were to think of some famous athletes I can't think of specific names the athletes that you hear about that end up dying lonely in pain. You hear about the obituary, you read about their death and you say, wow, whatever happened to him and my to coach, to mentor, to take whatever they did in their career and use it as a gift to share, to contribute I mean quite often child stars, athletes. They get to the pinnacle of their career. I think Olympic athletes are a common thread in this. If you have seen any of these documentaries I think Michael Phelps has one out about what happens to their psychology when they're done, when the goal setting first of all, there's nothing left. They've been driven and driven and driven since maybe childhood and now they've reached the pinnacle. They got the medals. And now what? And until they can figure out, what do they want out of life? Did everything I do up to this point? Was it all driven by me personally? Was it what I wanted to do? Or maybe there were things that they were forced to do quite often. So they got to let go of resentments and move on with that and not have regrets. But if they really thoroughly enjoyed it. How can I continue that? Because it's very simple again, especially in our culture. You did it great.
Rosemary Carminati:Next, You're not on Wheaties box anymore. We don't know who you are, mm, hmm. Next, you're not on Wheaties box anymore, we don't know who you are. And if they surround themselves, I think again, get rid of. If there is baggage, if there are things that they're still holding onto, that they resent about their experience, they need to get rid of that. But then once they discover and say, okay, I can't do this anymore, in my case, I was a gymnast. Do you think, at 62 years old, I'm going to go in the backyard and try a back handspring?
Alethea Felton:Of course you will. Of course you will, Roseberry.
Rosemary Carminati:I'm a realist. Instead, I'll help my grandchildren learn how to do it.
Alethea Felton:Thank you, I get it.
Rosemary Carminati:And I'll physically walk the canals in Venice and do all the other wonderful things I know are appropriate for my age but I'm not going to sit in misery saying, and that's what happens to an athlete or to a, um, a movie star, or to someone who really was successful in their career or loved their job, and the letdown and uh, is this all there is? Well again, like we were saying with the athletes, those successful ones have looked at it as yet another chapter in their life. Okay, now I'm in transitioning. I still love the sport. How can I incorporate using that love for my sport into something else in my life? Maybe I'm going to be a commentator, maybe I'm going to write a book, whatever it is. The ones that have continued and been successful have recognized all right, that's a chapter. Now I can move on and still use those gifts, but if there's still wallowing in what used to be, I can't do it anymore.
Rosemary Carminati:People do that in retirement. I like to say and I've done enough interviews with retirees that are miserable and I like to say the unhappy retiree is the one that spends most time complaining about body ailments and what they can't do anymore. Mm, hmm, and we all know one or two of those. And do we want to be that person? If you're happy right now and you know what you want out of life and you love yourself. It probably will never happen, but if you haven't figured out all those things and you haven't allowed yourself to be curious, like I say in retirement, it's very important to me. I still have that dare to dream. Philosophy.
Alethea Felton:That's right.
Rosemary Carminati:Throughout your whole life. Another saying I love is you're never too old to have a happy childhood. Ignite that spark again. Ignite that curiosity. I say be curious and keep your ambition. Who said you can't be ambitious just because they said you have to retire?
Alethea Felton:That's right, yeah, yeah, that's right. And there are too many people, unfortunately, whose corpses are in graves or mausoleums or have been cremated, meaning people who are dead now, who left this earth unfulfilled. Oh, and that is such a travesty about it, but we hear these stories of all of these transitions. But what about the success stories Can you think of or of? Well, duh, of course you can, but share with us one or two success stories that come to your mind, about clients you've worked with, who've navigated retirement and are literally living their best lives.
Rosemary Carminati:Oh gosh, Well, I have it's funny two ex-teachers. Well, you know what? I think there's something to be said about the curiosity of being a teacher. So I think that you already have it in your mindset that there's more to life. So let's keep looking.
Rosemary Carminati:One teacher who gave up his teaching career because he had to raise his family and go out there and be. He became a teamster and a tradesman. He was building sets for movies and and doing all this wonderful stuff. Well, he's now in his late 60s and physically it's a challenge and the hours and the the how, the demands have been too much. So he he was saying, well, I have to retire, I have to retire. And by the end of the six month program with me, he said, yeah, I'm not retiring, I'm switching careers, that's all I'm going to do. And he's going back to part-time teaching. But he's putting together programs that he wants to teach from the curriculum he used to do and incorporating all of the new skills and he is having, oh my God, he's working with youth and he's helping them discover some of the passions that he found. It's just absolutely amazing, oh gosh.
Rosemary Carminati:And then I have another one. That is well, she's gone back from again more corporate, corporate, corporate, corporate and has reignited her passion for travel Interesting. She's always been the one that in her group, all of her circles, was the event planner. All the time, anyway, she was the one that the go-to. Where should we go? Who's going to make reservations? She took care of it all. Well, now she's thriving helping people, and especially people that are inexperienced travelers. She's helping them ignite that passion and take away the fear of it. Yeah, Because of so much she learned through other careers, you know so the things that we learn, the things I learned in corporate sales, I mean I would not trade that for anything. It helps me as an entrepreneur. It helps me with my speaking, obviously, but it also shows me what I don't want to do. Yes, exactly.
Rosemary Carminati:You know, what I don't want. We have a philosophy or a teaching that we talk about, where we have different consciousness that we live by. There's victim consciousness, which we call everything happens to me.
Rosemary Carminati:Then there's a consciousness where we're the go-getters, and that's by me, well. Then there's a consciousness where we're the go-getters, and that's by me. Well, I lived in 30 years of by me, of I've got to make this happen. This is in my control if I work harder All of that nonsense that I did. Yes, I was successful, but no one can sustain that.
Rosemary Carminati:And because stress is basically expectation of the world's, not meeting your expectations when we set up a reality and it doesn't happen, that's where stress comes from. We have our expectations and in sales, the expectations are always it's got to be. The bar is lifted every time. So when I decided to get out of that and get into the consciousness of through me, and what that is is having faith, your faith in your higher power, in yourself and in those you choose to surround yourself with, because we get to choose that too. We do have control in our lives. We have control over our intentions, our emotions, our actions and who we surround ourselves with.
Rosemary Carminati:And when I got to that point and so I've seen a multitude of people with that. And then I also have a retiree who decided he had been an adoptive parent for years and years. He had been an adoptive parent for years and years and he worked for a very big submarine manufacturing plant in electric boat it's called. He was under upper mucky muck. He decided he started running a charitable organization and what he does is so fulfilling in all those psychological needs that he discovered were the most important thing to him. He is blissful. I mean, every time I talk to him the smile is bigger and he is just finding so much joy in every day because he realized that was the most important thing to him.
Rosemary Carminati:He didn't have to worry about paying the bills anymore, so now he could live authentically in this and not worry about well, why aren't you doing this? No, this is what he wants to do and, as I said in the beginning, if you, your purpose in retirement or semi-retirement is solely to be the best grandpa you could ever be because you couldn't be there for your children, god bless you Then you're going to live fulfilled and you're going to not go to your deathbed with regrets and you're going to not go to your deathbed with regrets, wow, wow.
Alethea Felton:And you mentioned even in all this, while you work with individual clients, you mentioned the importance of who you surround yourself with, even in this new chapter of life, of life, and so share with us some of the importance of community and social support in this process of redefining retirement. And what strategies, maybe two or three, would you give to someone trying to build a supportive network, because sometimes even maybe those closest to us might not always understand. I didn't have that problem with my inner circle, but sometimes people work for years and years and years. It takes adjustments on everyone's part that this is their new normal. So how do you help clients with that and what tips can you share?
Rosemary Carminati:Well, if you think about it, nobody taught us in school how to socialize. No, we figured it out the hard way, some of us. And then, amongst bullying and not getting asked to the dance, and this one won't talk to me, and all of that other crazy stuff that people go through, and this one won't talk to me, and all of that other crazy stuff that people go through, and well, I'd say the first thing I do when I talk to any client, whether they're considering retirement or not, is to assess the folks that you surround yourself with now and it's not that you're going to look at it as an elitist point of view, it's. Are they like-minded? Do we have the same values? I think it probably became a lot easier for some of us in the United States with the political craziness we've been having in the last eight to ten years. I think some of us have re-evaluated associations, and not because of political leanings, but because of the severity and the. I want to say some people got actually quite mean and exclusive in their thoughts and those. So those are the people I decided okay, there's going to be distance now. So, if so, those are the people I decided okay, there's going to be distance now.
Rosemary Carminati:So if you start looking at the people that you surround yourself, with the people that, I like to say, you want to weed out, maybe when you leave them every time, you feel a little worse about yourself. Have you noticed that we have friends in our lives, or coworkers, people like that, that always seem to have that passive, aggressive way to make you question your dreams, your aspirations. So maybe those are the people that become just acquaintances and not friends. Or there's people that people ask me all the time what about your relatives? Well, if you have those relatives that do that to you, you limit your exposure.
Rosemary Carminati:You still love them. You can't choose your family. You love them, but you lower your expectations too. Am I expecting to get blood from a stone? Am I expecting a fish to fly? If I know, when I pick up the phone and this person is not going to celebrate what I'm talking about, I'm not going to choose to share that with them. Very simple I'll go to that friend that is my ride or die, who I know loves me for me, and that's fine. So when we start assessing, weeding out, limiting exposure, and then start seeking and searching and we do have ways in our world now, globally. It's absolutely amazing the communities that you can get involved in globally through Facebook, through the internet, I mean LinkedIn has a multitude.
Alethea Felton:Linkedin is a treasure trove. People sleep on LinkedIn. They don't realize, especially if you're in this world professionally. Linkedin if you know how to use it right, it works wonders. I mean, that's how you and I met through people we met through LinkedIn.
Rosemary Carminati:And think about the enrichment you can find in your life. So this is obviously this is not personal connection, physical connection, but you can have also physical connection. You know it takes work and that's why people do come to me for things like that, because no one ever taught us how to connect and network, especially at a later age in life, especially at a later age in life. Look what happened after COVID. People didn't know how to they go to a networking function and be like I don't know what to say.
Alethea Felton:But you just triggered something in me is that, in turn and you can ask clients of yours who are former teachers educators are in a bubble. We really are in a bubble and that was the toughest part for me. My mentor, john Nero, forced me to start networking with people even before I left my career right, and it was so uncomfortable for me how he forced me to network on LinkedIn specifically me, how he forced me to network on LinkedIn specifically and I had to reach out to all of these people who had never been principals or teachers and although I had done part-time entrepreneurship, it was still different and you have hit the nail on the head with that is that networking can be so daunting and I'm so comfortable now with it here over a year later.
Rosemary Carminati:Yeah. But imagine now I know you well enough to know that you're confident and you love yourself. Imagine someone who's still struggling with all those limiting beliefs. They can't put their hand out and reach out and say I'd like to get to know you and meet you. So those are the things that we work through First of all. Again back to those ankle weights. Once you get rid of all those things and you appreciate yourself for who you are, that becomes a little more comfortable.
Rosemary Carminati:But nobody said first of all, life is a comfort centric experience. So these are the things that we have to go through, unfortunately, that are uncomfortable and challenging. But growth doesn't come without discomfort, that's right. It just doesn't happen. So these are unfortunately. But if you already have two or three people in your support group you had John. If you have me or someone else, a good friend, someone that can guide you through the process of starting to get out there and open up your social circle. You can do it through LinkedIn, you can do it through personal personally, and what I also love is the old Abraham Hicks way of thinking.
Rosemary Carminati:Oh yes, abraham Hicks, build your boardroom. Start finding your mentors, whether they're fictional, fictional, whether they're deceased or whether they're alive now. Maybe it's, maybe it's jay shetty, maybe it's oprah, maybe it's, I don't know. You know whoever it is. You start following them. Um, he's hey. Yeah louise brown there's so many out there and you start listening to what their guidance is and developing some of that in yourself and it's almost as if you know the old. What would Jesus do when?
Rosemary Carminati:you start to say what, whoever your idol is, I mean for me it's, you know, mother Teresa Gandhi. What would I mean? I even wear a ring that says be the change you wish to see in the world. And so when I go to make a decision that's part of what I think about is okay. Is this making a difference just for me? Is this just a selfish thing? Is this necessary, or will it maybe affect someone in a negative way? So maybe I shouldn't do it.
Rosemary Carminati:So when you find that boardroom or your guides, people, that there's so many different ways to do this right, but you can have fictional, you can have deceased, you can have your grandmother who's no longer with you, the philosophy is there, her words are ingrained, her feelings, everything. It's in your gut and in your heart. My sister passed away last year. There are more times that things come out of me or I make a decision where I go, I get it. I look up to the sky and I say I know you just worked right through me. That's right. I don't even remember what I said, but I know it was from her, because she's such a big part of me.
Rosemary Carminati:So when we start developing our environment and making it healthy and making it with our values what we want to do and accomplish and who we want to be. Because when we were talking about the regrets in death, other than the fact that you know the loneliness and that I didn't, I didn't really enjoy my happiness because I was waiting for the when, when I get the promotion, when I get married, when I get divorced, when I lose weight, instead of being happy now. But the other one is the authenticity. You know, I know people that are sleepwalking through life. They sure are. Say one thing and feel another. That's right?
Alethea Felton:Yeah, they certainly are, they certainly are, they're afraid.
Rosemary Carminati:They're afraid. They're afraid they don't deserve what they want out of life, or they're afraid of what other people will think of them. There's so many different reasons why people are not being themselves. You're right.
Alethea Felton:And I had people, more than one. Of course, I never publicly called them out, but, especially when I was transitioning out of education, I had people, who were people that I looked up to, who told me one on one, I could never do what you do and I so want to do it. I admire you so much for it, but I'm not brave enough to and to me it wasn't a matter of bravery. It was a matter, yes, faith, but it was a matter of you know, yes, I planned for it too, which is important, and I purposely didn't ask you questions about the financial aspects of it. I did that on purpose, because I wanted people to see and get out of this so many other aspects, and if a person's curious about that, I want them to contact you.
Alethea Felton:So, yeah, right, but people who were saying that they just didn't have the courage to do what I was doing, and to me it was second nature. It was second nature and it was so transformative for me and this chapter of my life. I'm not going to sit here and act like it's been easy, but I have too much drive to give up on it and I'm getting closer and closer to where I'm trying to be. So I have two final questions because I want to be respectful of your time. But what have you learned the most about yourself since becoming this retirement reinvention guru? Yes, I'm calling you a guru you don't have to call yourself that, but I am. But what have you, rosemary, learned the most about you?
Rosemary Carminati:I'd say as much as I have always been called Pollyanna and that I'm say my pure, absolute joy for life has been expanded and enriched by clients and the people I again surround myself with. I have discovered, the older I get and the more I learn from students and clients, because, boy, the communities I'm in and in the programs that I teach, they teach each other and they teach me. Every session I walk away with wow, light bulb moment, and I think that the idea is that every day I look at now is such a gift and I look at each person. I've always had the notion that you are good unless proven otherwise. I've always and you know I've gotten kicked in the face plenty of times because of that and I'll still be like that. It doesn't matter.
Rosemary Carminati:But now I really relish the differences. I enjoy discovering not only our similarities but that different viewpoint you give me. That opens up yet another whoa. I live in a question. You know everything is curiosity, and that just I mean the growth. Yeah, and what that leads to is in the last couple of years, through all this process, I've had more than one really bad blankets, the fan type of situation.
Alethea Felton:And.
Rosemary Carminati:I brush it off as if it was a mosquito bite because there's so much more Plus. I know that I'm learning from it, but there's so much more golden nuggets that I experience every day. It's annoying to be around me. Sometimes. I feel the same too about me. You know that saying misery loves company, it should be reframed. And my mentor says this Miserable people love miserable company Because misery doesn't like you and me, because after five minutes they don't get what they want from us. Oh my God. We turn the picture around and say, have you considered? And they go oh, you're not going to. Let me complain all day.
Alethea Felton:My look, girl, this is so funny. My boyfriend said to me just last night it was so funny to me I had given him some encouragement. I guess I don't even know what I said, but he said, girl, you can make the devil himself have a good day.
Rosemary Carminati:This is why we connected honey.
Alethea Felton:This was not a coincidence it wasn't when he said I never had anybody told me. I laughed and laughed. He said you can make the devil himself have a good day. Wisdom would you give to someone who may be in the state of their life or the point where they're approaching retirement or really considering it, yet they feel so apprehensive about this life transition?
Rosemary Carminati:Let's try to keep this as brief as possible. We would really delve into what the apprehension is about, because it can be everything from I'm afraid of what's coming up or I'm afraid of what I'm giving up. So it could be two different things I'm afraid I will have no value, or I'm afraid there's just way too many things. But so we would delve into the apprehension and then, once we do that, we would also look at I think you and I either we said it earlier in this recording or privately we would look at what is it that you love about what you're doing? And let's figure out how you're going to replicate that. How are you going to fill in those voids? What are the things you're going to do? You can even say that to somebody who's got empty nest syndrome. You know your children are going to grow, they're going to leave the house. How are you going to fill your time, your activities, that love, that you get, that need or that need to be needed, all of those things? Well, same thing with your retirement. Let's look at your basic psychological needs. What are your preferences, what really drives you? And then, what are you getting from your position now and how do you think you're going to replace that?
Rosemary Carminati:Because the other thing I'd like to say to everybody too, whether you're thinking of retiring a transition, anything in your life, too many folks are waiting for their happiness and they're expecting their outer world to provide that. Until we have happiness in our inner world, the outer world is never going to fulfill you. It's never going to Always going to be an empty void. So why not strive to be happy now, in whatever your situation is? And the sentence or the phrase that I say all the time and people go oh, I never thought of that. You can never run out of now. We're all time management. Stress got to to fit, got to. What about? Just take a breath and enjoy now?
Alethea Felton:And with that, rosemary Carmonati, you have been an incredible guest. I already knew it, but thank you for just coming here today offering such a dynamic perspective about retirement and just life in general. Even if a person is in their 20s, they can get something out of this, because you are definitely inspirational. Thank you for just your heart, for your time and for coming on the Power Transformation Podcast. It has been an honor and a joy having you and I will definitely, of course, keep in touch with you.
Rosemary Carminati:Oh, I look forward to it and thank you so much, alethea, I feel the same way. This was meant to be. We were meant to meet each other and have this conversation, and that's all it was. Was two girls talking?
Alethea Felton:Indeed, it was, wasn't Rosemary? The absolute best, and she is the guru when it comes to all things retirement. So please connect with her, regardless of where you are in your career or even if you're already retired and you simply want further insight. Contact Rosemary. She will lead you down the right road and the right path, and she has the greatest personality and spirit. And this is going to be a decision you will not regret. So reach out to her as soon as you can, and I thank you for listening to yet another episode of the Power Transformation Podcast.
Alethea Felton:Spread this message, let everybody know about it. It's because of you that we are in the top 5% of podcasts globally and we want to keep that going so that we can end up being in the top 1%, so that this podcast reaches so many people and households across the world, across age groups, socioeconomic statuses, race, religion. We all have power within ourselves to transform not only our lives, but the lives of others. Let's go ahead and close out with our affirmation I'll say it and then you repeat it I have the courage to embrace change, for it leads me to new horizons. If you enjoyed today's show, then you don't want to miss an episode. So follow the Power Transformation Podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you usually listen, and remember to rate and review. I also invite you to connect with me on social media at Alethea Felton, that's at A-L-E-T-H-E-A-F-E-L-T-O-N. Until next time, remember to be good to yourself and to others.